The Dark Pee-Wee Returns!

We're back, here with all THE FAKIST HEADLINES you can shake a stick at. Pee-Wee is back, but with a modern twist. The concussion controversy causes a fury of football fans to lash out! Target is setting trends as the world ends. All that, plus Ziggy McElroy is back with a self-serving editorial.

"'Ziggy's Editorial"

Written By Shawn Trail

ZIGGY MCELROY – Shawn Trail

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How Is It Thanksgiving Next Week?

Paul DaFoe offers up his TOP 10 THANKSGIVING TIPS to help you get through the holiday season without killing your family. All that, plus Grace Huberstafforford reports on a holiday toy trend, on a thankful episode of THE FAKIST HEADLINES.

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"'Could Be Anything' Inspirational Action Figures"

Written by Wynn Mercere

GRACE HUBBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere

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Nicholas Cage Is Benjamin Franklin

A new Baby Shark study says exactly what you'd expect, a member of The Fakist team goes on SO YOU THINK YOU CAN TWERK?, and an explanation of YouTube's new terms of service that we've all got a million e-mails about. All that, plus the Dems invade Indiana, on a brand new THE FAKIST HEADLINES.

"So You Think You Can Twerk?"

Written By Shawn Trail

ZIGGY MCELROY - Shawn Trail

TIM "PRESS PLAY" PLAYGON - Shawn Trail

CHYRON DELROY - Dorkface Delroy

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A MacDonald's-Friendly Episode

Fortnight is basically cocaine, Tarintino attacks Netflix, and lots of butt-kissing MacDonald's. All that, plus Grace Huberstafforford vapes, on a brand new THE FAKIST HEADLINES.

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"Healthy Vapes"

Written by Wynn Mercere

GRACE HUBBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere

"Fortnight Is Cocaine"

Written By Shawn Trail

ZIGGY MCELROY - Shawn Trail

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Well, That Happened.

Politics invades the fake news, Disney enters the multiverse of madness, and a gaming granny gets SWATed. All that, plus Ziggy McElroy on a brand new FAKIST NEWS HEADLINES.

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"Gaming Granny"

Written by Wynn Mercere

GRACE HUBBERSTAFFORFORD – Wynn Mercere

"Sticky Lips" and "Self-Driving Snobs"

Written By Shawn Trail

ZIGGY MCELROY - Shawn Trail

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Bloggers Can't Take A Joke

The Joker wins big, the Muppets have a Dark Crystal secret, and Instagram influencers jump on the latest environmental crisis. All that, on an autumn edition of FAKIST NEWS HEADLINES.

"Plutocracy"

Written by Brady Hendricks

CRONKER WALKITE - Brady Hendricks

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You can't escape all this Disney ANNOUNCETAINMENT!

In this special edition of Headlines, we're covering all the magically delicious news pouring out of Anaheim during the big #D23 expo. Is your favorite property getting its own Disney+ show? Listen to The Fakist to find out!

Covering the fake news headlines, for real!

We're trying a derivative news format, designed to attract all you millennials and Facebook junkies with no attention span. Research shows people today like short, punchy content that either enrages or delights them, without any actual facts. What a perfect fit for The Fakist! And what a great way to boost our ratings! We really need the help.