How much space do you take up? How do you see yourself in the world? In this episode, we talk about men domineering, how this behaviour fits into wider structures of violence, and ways in which we can avoid it. You can read more about being a feminist ally on our blog.

In this episode, we are taking another look at understanding why feminism for men is so important, what drives this movement forward and how we can make a difference. We will look at the Pyramid of Violence to try and understand how violence happens. You can see the image we discuss in the show in a blog post on the Feminist Men Project website. The books referenced in this episode are Feminism is for Everybody by bell hooks and An Introduction to Feminism by Lorna Finlayson.

Content note: We mention rape, domestic violence, and sexual harassment several times, but never graphically.

What is feminist accountability for men? In this episode, we suggest a four-step framework for thinking about men's accountability and share our own learnings and mistakes trying to do this. We discuss the impact of men's actions and explore the complexity of topics like offering apologies.

In this episode we mention a few key resources:

The Creative Interventions Toolkit which has a comprehensive chapter on Accountability https://communityaccountability.wordpress.com/creative-interventions-toolkit/

The Respect phoneline https://respectphoneline.org.uk/ 0808 8024040

Cradle Community http://www.cradlecommunity.co.uk/facilitation @cradlecommunity

and the Rape Crisis phoneline https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-help/want-to-talk/ 0808 802 9999

In this episode we start by discussing the tools at our disposal to talk about consent, what their limitations are, and what we can learn from talking to teenage boys about sex. From there we reflect on our own experiences and how the conversation about consent can involve more nuanced analysis about power dynamics and our responsibilities to ourselves and each other.

In this episode we mention the Cup of Tea Consent video, the FRIES acronym and the amazing YES lubricant!

In this episode we delve into the societal pressures on women to keep quiet about sexual assault and how difficult it can be to speak up when something bad has happened or is happening with an intimate partner.

We also discuss the gendered dynamics of talking about these events after the fact, and how we might support ourselves or friends of ours who have experienced it.

In this episode we talk about Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's Letter to Ijeawele. 

In this second episode we are taking a quick tour of attachment theory via the Man Box — the unwritten and unspoken codes of behaviour which society expects of men.

We draw from Nora Samaran’s brilliant article on men, relationships, rape culture and what she calls ‘nurturance culture’.

This is now available in a longer form as a book.