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Spacemen, did you know you can send us texts? Even request topics? We'll happily cover them for you. Seriously, look up a little. It says send text. So do. Cause today, we talk about a question we were asked. Specifically as it relates to couple dynamics and long-distance relationships. We'll talk about effective communication, setting boundaries, and clarifying expectations. We'll fill you with hope and clear understanding on how to make things work. Listen in.

Also, don't forget, we're starting a monthly book club. We're starting with Dave Grohl's book, The Storyteller. Read it and come prepared to share with the group!

Keywords

anxious-avoidant attachment, pursuer-distancer dynamic, long-distance relationship, effective communication, setting boundaries, connection, trust, understanding, scheduling, broadening definition of sexual experience, attachment styles, secure bond

Takeaways

• In a pursuer-distancer dynamic, one person pursues while the other distances themselves. To break this pattern, one person needs to stop their behavior, which will cause the other person to stop as well.
• Managing an anxious-avoidant attachment pattern in a long-distance relationship can be challenging, but effective communication and setting boundaries can help.
• Tips for managing long-distance relationships include finding ways to connect despite the distance, setting realistic expectations, and prioritizing quality time together.
• Understanding each other's attachment styles and working together to create a secure and supportive relationship is crucial in overcoming challenges in a long-distance relationship.
• It is important to be deliberate and overt in communication and expectations in a long-distance relationship.
• Trust and understanding are key in managing anxiously attached and avoidant patterns.
• Scheduling consistent times to connect and broadening the definition of a sexual experience can help maintain intimacy in a long-distance relationship.
• Attachment styles can be worked through and a secure bond can be created in a long-distance relationship.

Sound Bites

• "Like, charge the fortress!"
• "If I stop running, then she'll stop pursuing me so much because she's no longer as worried that I'm running."
• "It can feel like if I stop, the distancer, the avoidant one, will never reengage."
• "This is why you don't let Mike do his own shows."

Chapters

00:00
Challenges and Stories from Working with Clients

16:32
Navigating Long-Distance Relationships

17:09
Understanding Anxious-Avoidant Attachment

17:19
Book Club Suggestions: Dave Grohl and 'The Comfort Crisis'

17:39
Understanding the Dynamics of Long-Distance Relationships

18:29
Exploring Attachment Styles in Long-Distance Relationships

21:34
The Challenges of Long-Distance Relationships

25:21
The Importance of Communication and Understanding

27:16
Practical Tips for Managing a Long-Distance Relationship

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Have you ever felt so alone you could cry? Me neither. But Mike sure has. He did this episode all by himself. And man, did he nail it. He talks about the stories that define us and the stories that others use to define us. He shares the story of Emma Carey, a skydiver who survived a 14,000-foot fall, and how she struggles with being defined by that one event. Take home is you don't have to be defined by moments. Listen in. Define yourself.

Takeaways

• The stories we choose to define ourselves and the stories others use to define us can have a significant impact on our identity.
• We have the power to change the narratives that define us and actively work towards creating a more positive and fulfilling story.
• Happiness is not a fixed state, but a mission statement that requires active effort and a willingness to redefine it for ourselves.
• It's important to not let external factors or past experiences solely define our happiness and to work towards finding happiness in the present moment.
• Taking control of our own narratives and actively working towards happiness can lead to a more fulfilling and empowered life.

Sound Bites

• "The stories we choose to define ourselves and the stories others use to define us can have a significant impact on our identity."
• "Happiness is not a feeling for her. It is a mission statement."
• "You can make all the changes you want, but it's a long shot that'll make the story go away."

Chapters

00:00
Introduction and Solo Session

02:54
Emma Carey's Story

09:03
Defining Ourselves and Others

15:25
Assigned Stories and Personal Change

25:05
Working Towards Happiness

31:22
Taking Control of Our Narratives

34:28
Conclusion

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Spacemen! Heed my warning! Not really. Today, we debunk some common ideas about divorce. Matt's gone, but Mike and Rob get into it about problems one researcher stated are signs of impending divorce. Don't worry, they're not really. But don't just take our word for it, listen in. As a special bonus, you can go watch Rob's final show with his really cool punk-ska band from 20 years ago.

Keywords

infidelity, causes of divorce, communication, intimacy, divorce, intimacy, financial disagreements, excessive drinking, drug use, jealousy, irritating habits, communication, responsibility

Takeaways

• Cheating and infidelity are often symptoms of deeper issues in a relationship rather than the primary cause of divorce.
• The percentage of marriages affected by infidelity is estimated to be between 20% and 45%, but the likelihood of divorce due to infidelity varies.
• It is important to address the underlying issues that lead to infidelity, such as lack of communication and intimacy.
• Deal breakers in a marriage, such as infidelity and violence, are often more complex and nuanced than they appear.
• Open and honest communication, along with a strong emotional connection, are key factors in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Infidelity, lack of intimacy, and financial disagreements are common issues in relationships, but they can be worked through with effort and communication.
• Excessive drinking or drug use can be extremely damaging to a relationship and may be difficult to recover from.
• Jealousy and irritating habits can cause conflicts in a relationship, but it's important to consider one's own role and reactions in these situations.
• Divorce is a personal choice, and there are no guarantees in relationships. It's important to weigh the pros and cons and make a decision that aligns with one's values and goals.
• Seeking therapy or counseling can be helpful in navigating relationship challenges and finding solutions.
• Taking responsibility for one's own actions and choices is crucial in maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Sound Bites

• "Cheating and infidelity are often symptoms of deeper issues in a relationship."
• "The likelihood of divorce due to infidelity varies."
• "You can bounce back from infidelity... It takes a lot of work."
• "Money is a big deal because it represents safety and security."
• "You're never going back to how things were before... Your relationship will be different going forward."

Chapters

00:00
Podcast Plans and Soda Consumption

09:14
Exploring Signs of Divorce

12:20
Skepticism Towards Divorce Predictors

14:59
Introduction

23:18
Financial Issues in a Relationship

31:56
Substance Abuse and its Impact on Marriage

37:40
Moodiness and its Effect on Relationships

42:43
Dealing with Irritating Habits in a Marriage

46:41
Jealousy and Building Trust in a Relationship

49:57
Conclusion

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