Self-compassion reduces our feelings of shame and self-doubt. We explore a practice to help quiet our inner critic with kindness.

Summary: What does your inner critic sound like? Many of us carry echoes of past misunderstandings, pressures, or expectations. Voices that show up as shame, self-judgment, or the belief that we’re not doing enough. This episode explores a self-compassionate writing practice that helps interrupt those patterns by noticing how we talk to ourselves and learning to respond with more kindness.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Choose something you feel ashamed about or critical of: Pick a moment or pattern that brings up self-blame, embarrassment, or disappointment. It doesn’t need to be huge, just something that regularly activates your inner critic.
2. Describe the situation honestly and without judgment: Write down what happened and how it made you feel. Let the tone be neutral, like you’re simply acknowledging what’s true. No harsh labels, no minimizing.
3. Imagine someone who loves you speaking to you: This could be a close friend, mentor, future self, or the voice you’d naturally use when comforting someone you care about. Let that tone guide the rest of the letter.
4. Write to yourself with compassion, acceptance, and understanding: Recognize the difficulty, normalize the feelings, offer reassurance and warmth, acknowledge your strengths and intentions. Treat yourself the way you’d treat someone who came to you hurting.
5. Reframe your struggle in a kinder, more accurate way: Gently question the harsh story you usually tell yourself. Identify what was actually happening beneath the shame— survival instincts, past patterns, symptoms, fear, or overwhelm. Offer yourself a more truthful, generous narrative.
6. Set the letter aside then come back and read it: After a little time (an hour or a day), return to what you wrote. Notice how it feels to receive your own compassion. Let the warmth land. Over time, rereading and rewriting letters like this can shift your inner voice toward kindness and authenticity.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

RENÉ BROOKS is the creator of the blog Black Girl, Lost Keys. She draws on her personal experiences to coach and assist adults with ADHD.

Visit René’s Blog: https://blackgirllostkeys.com/

SERENA CHEN is the Chair of the Psychology department at UC Berkeley. Her research is focused on self-compassion, wellbeing, and social interaction.

Learn more about Serena and her work: https://tinyurl.com/mry3vx3v

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/yxw4uhpf

Related Happiness Breaks:

Fierce Self-Compassion Break: https://tinyurl.com/yk9yzh9u

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/et2spbbp

When gratitude feels distant, gently notice what’s here now— creating space for both heaviness and small moments of appreciation.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Get Comfortable: Sit upright or lie down. Whatever feels most supportive. Then soften your gaze or close your eyes.
2. Take Three Slow Breaths: Let your body begin to settle. Feel the tension release a little more with each exhale.
3. Notice How You’re Feeling: Without changing anything, simply acknowledge what’s present—tiredness, frustration, numbness, ease—whatever it is.
4. Make Space for What’s Hard: Recognize that the world can feel heavy. It’s okay to hold grief, anger, or stress. You don't have to push it away.
5. Gently Notice the Present Moment: Shift your attention to something neutral: your breath, your feet on the floor, the air on your skin. Just observe.
6. Look for One Small Thing to Appreciate: Ask: Is there anything, however small, I can be thankful for right now? A warm cup of coffee, a slower breath, the fact that you showed up.

Today’s Happiness Break Guide:

DACHER KELTNER is the host of The Science of Happiness podcast and is a co-instructor of the Greater Good Science Center’s popular online course of the same name. He’s also a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley.

Related Happiness Break episodes:

A Meditation on Original Love: https://tinyurl.com/5u298cv4
Loving Kindness Meditation: https://tinyurl.com/2kr4fjz5
Who Takes Care of You: https://tinyurl.com/5xmfkf73

Related Science of Happiness episodes:

Nine Steps to Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/vb7kk5ky

How to Show Up For Yourself: https://tinyurl.com/56ktb9xc

Who’s Always There for You: https://tinyurl.com/yt3ejj6w

We want to hear from you! Take our quick 5-minute survey to tell us what you love, what you want more of, and how we can make the show even more inspiring and useful. Everyone who completes the survey can enter a drawing to win a copy of The Science of Happiness Workbook: 10 Practices for a Meaningful Life. Click the survey link in the show notes wherever you’re listening, or go directly to: https://tinyurl.com/happyhappysurvey. Thank you for helping us make the podcast even better!

Follow us on Instagram: @ScienceOfHappinessPod

We’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Help us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/f6xa56mx

Doing good for others benefits our own minds and bodies, as well. We explore the science of kindness.

Summary: On this episode of The Science of Happiness we explore how everyday acts of kindness strengthen our sense of connection and belonging, and why our brains are built to feel good when we support others. Drawing from both research and lived experience, we examine how even small gestures can reduce anxiety, increase purpose, and ripple outward through our communities. We also look at why kindness flourishes when it’s spontaneous and genuine, and how practicing it can open us to deeper presence, vulnerability, and joy.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Set an intention: Take a moment each evening to reflect on the day ahead and choose a general theme for how you want to show kindness. Like offering gratitude, being more present, or supporting someone who comes to mind.
2. Keep it flexible: Rather than creating a rigid checklist, identify a few broad “buckets” of kindness so you can let opportunities arise naturally.
3. Notice moments to connect: As you move through your day, look for organic openings to offer warmth. Whether through a sincere compliment, a helpful gesture, or simply slowing down to truly listen.
4. Act on what feels genuine: Choose gestures that feel authentic to you and appropriate to the moment, aiming for sincerity over perfection.
5. Reflect briefly: At the end of the day, jot down the acts you did and how they felt—for you and for others—paying attention to small emotional shifts or moments of connection.
6. Stay gentle with yourself: If you miss a moment or a day feels off, reset without judgment; the practice is about cultivating awareness and kindness, not completing a task list.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

DANA MERWIN is a progressional clown and performer based in San Francisco.

Learn about Dana’s Work: https://tinyurl.com/bd6ew95a

Follow Dana on Instagram: https://tinyurl.com/dspstzrk

DAVID CREGG is a clinical psychologist at South Texas Veterans Health Care System whose research specializes in positive psychology.

Find more of David’s work here: https://tinyurl.com/ajay6n6a

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/yxw4uhpf

The Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/3x7w2s5s

Who’s Always There For You: https://tinyurl.com/yt3ejj6w

Related Happiness Breaks:

Tap into the Joy That Surrounds You: https://tinyurl.com/2pb8ye9x

A Meditation for When Others Are Suffering: https://tinyurl.com/2tcp2an9

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/yx64nk2n

Explore a gentle practice for releasing resentment and finding freedom through forgiveness.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Prepare Your Space and Body: Find a quiet, safe place to sit and take slow, grounding breaths. Notice any tension in your body and gently release it with each exhale.
2. Identify Who You’re Ready to Forgive: Bring to mind two or three people who have hurt you, and start with the one whose actions feel least painful. Reflect on how this hurt still affects your emotions and body.
3. Acknowledge the Hurt: Recognize what happened and how it impacted your life, trust, or well-being. Allow yourself to feel the pain without judgment.
4. Seek to Understand (Without Excusing): Consider what struggles or past hurts might have influenced the other person’s behavior. This step is about seeing their humanity, not condoning their actions.
5. Make the Choice to Forgive: When you feel ready, make an inner decision to release resentment and let go of the burden it carries. Offer kindness, respect, or simply your intention to move forward.
6. Reflect and Offer Yourself Compassion: Notice any small sense of softening or relief, and honor where you are in the process. End by thanking yourself for taking a step toward healing.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Happiness Break Guide:

DACHER KELTNER is the host of The Science of Happiness podcast and is a co-instructor of the Greater Good Science Center’s popular online course of the same name. He’s also a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley.

Related Happiness Break episodes:

A Science-Backed Path to Self-Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/yh2a5urt

A Note to Self on Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/y53tkn87

Make Uncertainty Part of the Process: https://tinyurl.com/234u5ds7

Related Science of Happiness episodes:

Nine Steps to Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/vb7kk5ky

The Science of Letting Go: https://tinyurl.com/566t8udf

The Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/3x7w2s5s

This episode was supported by a generous grant from the Templeton World Charity Foundation as part of a Greater Good Science Center project on "Putting the Science of Forgiveness into Practice."

We’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Help us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/trnz9x8n

Discover how forgiveness reshapes the brain, eases the body, and helps us move forward with greater compassion and freedom.

Summary: Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or excusing—it’s about releasing the grip of resentment so we can make room for peace. Research shows it also engages empathy, strengthens emotional regulation, and helps us reconnect with what truly matters. In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we look at how forgiveness transforms not just relationships, but our overall well-being.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Acknowledge the hurt: Be honest about what happened and how it affected you—avoiding or denying the pain can keep it alive.
2. Empathize with the other person: Try to see their humanity and what might have led them to act as they did, without excusing the harm.
3. Choose to forgive: Decide, for your own peace, to let go of resentment and stop letting the past control your emotions.
4. Offer forgiveness as a gift: Imagine extending understanding or compassion toward the person, even if they never apologize.
5. Commit to your choice: Write it down, share it, or reflect on it as a reminder of your intention when old feelings resurface.
6. Practice holding on to peace: When reminders or emotions arise, return to calm, compassion, or gratitude—strengthening forgiveness over time.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

DR. EVERETT WORTHINGTON is one of the world's leading experts on forgiveness.

Learn more about Dr. Everett Worthington here: https://www.evworthington-forgiveness.com/

DR. EMILIANA SIMON-THOMAS is a neuroscientist and Director of Science at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

Learn more about Emiliana R. Simon-Thomas here: https://tinyurl.com/2z7mhjbm

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

The Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/3x7w2s5s

Nine Steps to Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/vb7kk5ky

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/yxw4uhpf

Related Happiness Breaks:

A Science-Backed Path to Self-Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/yh2a5urt

Make Uncertainty Part of the Process: https://tinyurl.com/234u5ds7

A Note to Self on Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/y53tkn87

This episode was supported by a generous grant from the Templeton World Charity Foundation as part of a Greater Good Science Center project on "Putting the Science of Forgiveness into Practice."

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/566t8udf

We explore Día de los Muertos as a ritual that nurtures community, imbues loss with meaning, and helps us process grief while also connecting through shared joy.

Summary: We investigate how Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, rituals strengthen family ties and cultural identity, and learn about its evolution from a 3,000 year old practice to a global celebration. We look at key elements like the ofrenda and explore how commercialization—like Mattel’s Day of the Dead Barbie—raises questions about balancing tradition with modern influences.

This episode is made possible through the generous support of the John Templeton Foundation.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Set an intention: Begin by reflecting on who or what you want to honor, focusing on connection and gratitude rather than loss. Let this intention guide the energy of your ritual.
2. Create a space of offering: Choose a spot in your home and make it a place of remembrance. Gather meaningful items like photos, flowers, candles, or anything that holds personal or ancestral significance.
3. Invite the elements: Bring in water, fire, wind, and earth in simple ways—perhaps a candle, a glass of water, a plant, or a piece of fabric that moves gently in the air—to represent balance and harmony.
4. Add a personal touch: Offer something that carries memory, like a favorite food, scent, or song of someone you love. These gestures transform remembrance into a living connection.
5. Gather in community: Invite others to join you in building the altar or sharing stories and food. Coming together in this way turns memory into collective celebration and strengthens belonging.
6. Reflect and release: When the ritual feels complete, take a few quiet moments to notice what you feel. Offer gratitude for the connections that remain and carry their presence forward into daily life.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

MICHELLE TELLÉZ is an Associate Professor in Mexican-American studies at Arizona State University.
Learn more about Michelle: https://tinyurl.com/2ph3can7

MATHEW SANDOVAL, a.ka. "Dr. Muerte," is an artist and Associate Professor at Arizona State University. He is a leading expert on Día de los Muertos.
Learn more about Mathew: mathewsandoval.com

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

The Healing Effects of Experiencing Wildlife: https://tinyurl.com/bde5av4z

Who’s Always There For You: https://tinyurl.com/yt3ejj6w

How Thinking About Your Ancestors Can Help You Thrive: https://tinyurl.com/4u6vzs2w

Related Happiness Breaks:

A Meditation on Love and Interconnectedness: https://tinyurl.com/ye6baxv3

A Meditation to Connect With Your Roots: https://tinyurl.com/ycy9xazc

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/jerruy47

Show yourself real self-kindness in less than 10 minutes with this self-compassion break guided by psychologist Kristin Neff.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Identify what’s hard right now: Bring to mind a real situation that’s causing you stress, sadness, or self-criticism, something that’s currently difficult. It could be a mistake, a relationship challenge, or a feeling of not being enough.
2. Acknowledge your pain: Notice what’s happening inside you without judgment. Gently name it: “This is hard,” or “I’m really struggling right now.”
3. Remember you’re not alone: Remind yourself that struggle is part of being human. Say something like: “Others feel this way too,” or “It’s normal to have moments like this.”
4. Offer yourself kindness: Bring warmth to the part of you that’s hurting. You might place a hand over your heart, hold your face gently, or clasp your hands. Physical touch helps calm the nervous system and signals care.
5. Speak supportive words to yourself: Say something to yourself that you’d say to a good friend in the same situation like, “I’m here for you.” “It’s okay to be imperfect.” “You’re doing the best you can.”
6. Let the compassion sink in: Take a few slow breaths. Feel your body softening. Notice any sense of calm, warmth, or ease that arises, even if it’s subtle. You can return to this practice anytime you feel overwhelmed or self-critical.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Happiness Break Guide:

Dr. Kristin Neff is an associate professor in the University of Texas at Austin's department of educational psychology. She's also the co-author of 'Mindful Self-Compassion for Burnout,' which offers tools to help individuals heal and recharge from burnout.

Related Happiness Break episodes:

The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8

A Self-Compassion Meditation For Burnout: https://tinyurl.com/485y3b4y

Tap into the Joy That Surrounds You: https://tinyurl.com/2pb8ye9x

Related Science of Happiness episodes:

How to Stick to Your Resolutions in 2024: https://tinyurl.com/mub9z9z4

How Holding Yourself Can Reduce Stress: https://tinyurl.com/2hvhkwe6

Why We Need Friends With Shared Interests: https://tinyurl.com/bp8msacj

We’d love to hear about your experience with this practice! Share your thoughts at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or use the hashtag #happinesspod.

Find us on Apple Podcasts: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Help us share Happiness Break! Leave a 5-star review and share this link: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/3eep76z6

What happens when imagination meets perception, and ordinary objects come alive? We explore the science of pareidolia.

Summary: Our minds are wired to find meaning, even in randomness— which is why sometimes we can see faces and patterns in everyday objects. In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we explore how this phenomenon, called pareidolia, can shift how we experience our surroundings and open ourselves to more creativity, connection, and calm.

How To Do This Practice:

1. Pause and settle: Take a few slow breaths and allow yourself to slow down. Let your mind soften its focus.
2. Choose your space: Look around your home, your walk, or wherever you are. Everyday objects work best— walls, trees, clouds, shadows.
3. Let curiosity lead: Notice shapes, textures, or patterns that catch your eye. Don’t try to find something, just observe.
4. See what appears: Allow your imagination to play. Do you see a face, an animal, a tiny scene hidden in plain sight?
5. Stay with it: Notice how it feels to find meaning in randomness. What emotions or memories come up?
6. Reflect and return: Take a final look around. Does your space or the way you see the things around you feel any different now?

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

MALIK MAYS is an Oakland-based musician who also releases music under the name Mahawam.

Learn more about Malik here: https://mahawam.com/bio

ANTOINE BELLEMARE-PEPIN is a neuroscientist and artist, who researches the connection between pareidolia and creativity.

Learn more about Antoine here: https://tinyurl.com/233w9rym

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

The Healing Effects of Experiencing Wildlife: https://tinyurl.com/bde5av4z

Why Going Offline Might Save Us: https://tinyurl.com/e7rhsakj

How To Tune Out The Noise: https://tinyurl.com/4hhekjuh

Related Happiness Breaks:

Pause to Look at the Sky: https://tinyurl.com/4jttkbw3

How To Ground Yourself in Nature: https://tinyurl.com/25ftdxpm

Make Uncertainty Part of the Process: https://tinyurl.com/234u5ds7

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/yzp9hykv