"If you can read, you can write." - Terri Trespicio, author of Unfollow Your Passion

We don't just have one major passion in life or a single road to success, and fixating on finding yours could be making you miserable and keeping you stuck. That's the core message in Terri Trespicio's book, Unfollow Your Passion. It's also the topic of her TEDx Talk, which has been viewed more than eight million times. In this episode of The Selfish Gift, Terri tells Maggie the surprising story behind that talk—and her unconventional road to success as an author, speaker, brand consultant, and writing teacher. (And did I mention she's also a poet?)

Terri is a licensed instructor of the Gateless Writing Method, developed by Suzanne Kingsbury, which had a huge impact on Terri's writing and personal growth. In this conversation, she describes the Gateless approach to writing, explores the misconception that writing is only for professionals, and emphasizes the power of writing as a tool for self-discovery. She also shares her personal, story-led writing process and the story behind the publication of her book.

If you have ever worried that you're spinning your wheels and need encouragement to trust yourself and keep moving forward, listen in.

Takeaways

• Don't feel pressured to know your purpose or passion; it's okay to try different things and not have it all figured out.
• Failure is a part of the learning process and should not be feared.
• Success often comes from a winding career journey and trying different paths.
• Mindset is important, but it's not everything; skill development and practice are also crucial for success.
• Expanding one's comfort zone is more important than seeking discomfort.
• Writing is a tool for self-discovery and personal growth.
• Craft in writing is essential for effectively sharing one's story or expertise.
• The Gateless Method is a transformative approach to writing that focuses on craft and removes criticism and judgment.
• Sharing one's work can be challenging but is a powerful and transformative experience. Know and love your work before seeking feedback from editors or agents.
• Be flexible in the writing process and trust the inherent qualities of your work.

For more, check out:
territrespicio.com
maggielangrick.com
wonderwell.press

And follow:
instagram.com/ttrespicio
instagram.com/maggielangrick
instagram.com/wonderwellpress
instagram.com/selfishgiftpodcast

It's famously difficult for a first-time, unknown author to get a memoir traditionally published, much less to have traditional publishers get into a bidding war over it. Laura Cathcart Robbins defied all the odds when she burst onto the "quit lit" scene with her brilliant, brave recovery memoir, Stash: My Life in Hiding (Atria/Simon and Schuster, 2023).

Stash is the candid account of an affluent, Hollywood wife and mother struggling with addiction, and her battle to get sober even as her marriage is falling apart. It is relatable, inspiring, courageous, and a real page-turner! The book went on to appear three times in the New York Times, was named a "best memoir of the year" by Elle magazine, and earned its author awards, accolades, and national media coverage.

In this episode of The Selfish Gift, Laura opens up and tells all about her unconventional—and often "surreal"—meteoric rise as a celebrated author, including:
• How the first article she ever published went viral and changed everything
• What it's like being one of the only Black authors in the recovery memoir genre—and why we need more memoirs from authors of color
• The once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that kickstarted her publishing journey, even though the offer itself wound up being a dead-end
• How and why she started her popular podcast, "The Only One in the Room", and what she's learned from her guests
• The tough advice she received after her first book proposal was rejected years ago—and why she followed it
• How she laid down a track for her author career long before her book was published ...and much more!

Tune into this inspiring and revealing conversation and learn how vulnerability, determination, and the love of writing fueled Laura's success.

For more, check out:
https://lauracathcartrobbins.com/
https://maggielangrick.com
https://wonderwell.press

And follow:
https://www.instagram.com/theonlyoneintheroom/ https://www.instagram.com/lauracathcartrobbins https://www.instagram.com/wonderwellpress https://www.instagram.com/maggielangrick

cw: Sexually explicit material

Rena Martine is a former deputy DA turned intimacy coach who helps women discover and express their authentic desires, inside and outside of the bedroom. This week on The Selfish Gift podcast, Rena offers heartfelt guidance on how to safely and courageously explore the outer limits of your sexuality and relationships. From sex parties to ethical non-monogamy to same-sex attraction, Rena reveals all in this explicit conversation. Most importantly, she shares guidance on how to explore your fantasies safely, even when trauma is present.

Aside from Rena's liberating message of sexual sovereignty and empowerment, one of the most inspiring aspects of this conversation is Rena's own journey toward a more authentic way of living, loving, and working. If you're considering making a big career change, you'll love Rena's story of how she made the difficult and rewarding decision to leave her straight-laced legal career and retrain as an intimacy coach and first-time entrepreneur.

Listen in to prompt your own journey of self-discovery, authenticity, and fulfillment.

Learn more at:
https://selfishgiftpodcast.com
https://renamartine.com
https://maggielangrick.com
https://wonderwell.press

Follow us on Instagram:
@_rena.martine_
@maggielangrick
@wonderwellpress
@selfishgiftpodcast

00:00 - Introduction to Rena Martine and her journey
02:16 - Defining Women's Intimacy Coaching
04:25 - Difference between Sex Therapy and Coaching
08:21 - The Connection between Authenticity and Intimacy
09:47 - The Personal Importance of Rena's Work
11:24 - The Target Audience of the Book
13:23 - Embracing Diversity in Women's Intimacy
14:44 - Being Open-Minded and Curious
18:52 - Accessing Disowned Desires and Fantasies
24:39 - The 27 Things List
27:40 - Bisexuality and Same-Sex Attraction
35:45 - Exploring Personal Preferences and Boundaries
36:32 - Understanding What You Crave and What You Don't
37:23 - Navigating Differences in Sexual Interests with a Partner
38:22 - Uncovering the Underlying Needs Behind Desires
39:39 - Making Difficult Relationship Decisions
41:20 - Exploring the Impact of Personal Authenticity
45:27 - Transitioning from a Legal Career to Intimacy Coaching
48:41 - Embracing a Bold and Authentic Identity
52:40 - Structuring the Book for Maximum Impact
56:20 - Navigating the Publishing Process
01:04:17 - The Transformative Power of Writing and Publishing

Time management is not the secret to a productive and rewarding life. Instead, we should be managing our energy, says Simon Alexander Ong, life coach, speaker, and author of Energize: Make the Most of Every Moment.

In this episode, Simon explains that energy is the life force that determines how we show up each day and emphasizes the need to prioritize activities based on our energy levels. He also highlights the four dimensions of energy: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, and shares personal experiences that led him to focus on energy management and the role of environment in supporting success.

Simon's journey as an entrepreneur and public speaker demonstrates the power of aligning work with values and purpose. He shares his journey from speaking to authorship and provides insights on how to accelerate a career in an authentic and powerful way.

He also shares some highly creative marketing techniques, such as collaborating with a bartender to create a signature cocktail and hosting a book launch in the metaverse.

Takeaways
• Managing energy is more important than managing time for productivity and fulfillment.
• Energy has four dimensions: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.
• Creating an empowering environment and surrounding oneself with like-minded individuals can accelerate success.
• Aligning work with values and purpose is essential for maintaining high energy levels and fulfillment. Challenge the traditional path and find alternative ways to gain experience and opportunities in your field.
• Lean into your unique story and vulnerabilities to connect with others and differentiate yourself.
• Embrace unique talking points in your marketing strategy to generate engagement and interest.
• Think outside the box and collaborate with individuals from different industries to create innovative marketing campaigns.

For more, check out:
https://simonalexanderong.com
https://maggielangrick.com
https://wonderwell.press

And follow:
https://instagram.com/simonalexandero
https://instagram.com/maggielangrick
https://instagram.com/wonderwellpress
https://instagram.com/selfishgiftpodcast

One in four Americans is familiar with the term "sober curious", and author Ruby Warrington is the reason why. In this episode of The Selfish Gift, Ruby and host Maggie Langrick discuss the book that sparked the Sober Curious movement, as well as Ruby's new book, Women Without Kids.

A common theme tying Ruby's books together is the importance of knowing oneself and being fully present in life, questioning societal expectations that can hinder this process, and embracing a rebellious spirit. Ruby also delves into the global trend of women reconsidering motherhood and the ecological and economic implications of population decline.

As longtime book editors, Maggie and Ruby discuss the intersection of personal narrative and prescriptive nonfiction, and what new authors should consider when it comes to choosing a structure for their nonfiction book. Ruby opens up about her writing process, and how she navigates the public life/private life boundary, which can be especially tricky when writing about deeply personal—and possibly controversial—topics.

In this episode, you'll learn:
• The term Sober Curious coined by Ruby Warrington has sparked a global movement and given language to a mindset of exploring one's relationship with alcohol.
• Choosing to be sober curious or child-free is a personal orientation that should be normalized, allowing individuals to make conscious choices about their own lives.
• The decline in birth rates globally and the rise of women without kids challenge societal expectations and have ecological and economic implications.
• Ruby Warrington's work encourages individuals to know themselves, be present, and question societal messages, embracing a rebellious spirit.
• Living with integrity and authenticity means valuing the preciousness of the life you are living and standing firm in your integrity despite societal pressure.
• When writing a nonfiction book, it's important to consider your storytelling style and how you like to deliver information.
• A good structure is essential for any nonfiction book, regardless of the style.
• Ruby Warrington takes a research-heavy approach to writing, collecting articles, research, and ideas before creating a loose structure for her books.

For more, check out
https://www.rubywarrington.com/
https://www.the-numinous.com/

And follow
https://instagram.com/rubywarrington
https://instagram.com/numinous_books
https://instagram.com/maggielangrick
https://instagram.com/selfishgiftpodcast
https://instagram.com/wonderwellpress

#authoradvice #sobercurious #alcoholfree #publishingadvice #nonfiction #purpose #lifepurpose #authenticity #womenwithoutkids #childfree #feminist

Anyone who's ever tried to create something beautiful or important must at times withdraw from everyday life to get the work done, whether that means getting up an hour early every day to write or going on a solo retreat. But how far would you go in pursuit of your art? Whatever your answer, today's guest is about to blow your mind and inspire you to go further than you ever thought possible.

Deanne Whalen is an award-winning Canadian filmmaker, photographer, author, and public speaker. In her documentary films and their accompanying books, she specializes in telling intimate stories from extreme locations. For her first film, This Land, she snowmobiled across the high Arctic. Then she embedded herself in the climbing community on Mount Everest for 40 days at base camp. For her latest film, 500 Days in the Wild, Deanne spent six years traversing the entire 24,000 kilometers of Canada's land and water trails from sea to sea to sea.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• All about her incredible adventure—how she navigated, charged her emergency devices, survived several moments of life-threatening danger (bears! storms!), and more.
• The wisdom traditions that indigenous communities generously shared with her along the way.
• How mindfully reconnecting with nature made her feel safer and more connected to other human beings, as well.
• How the journey affected her relationships—and eventually led to finding love on the trail.
• Her process of adapting 800 hours of footage into a documentary that has gotten distribution with Paramount Plus in Canada and a full Canadian theatrical release, including how she financed everything.

For more, check out:
500daysinthewild.com
maggielangrick.com
wonderwell.press

And follow:
instagram.com/500daysinthewild
instagram.com/diannewhelanphotos
instagram.com/maggielangrick
instagram.com/wonderwellpress
instagram.com/selfishgiftpodcast

CW: drug use, abuse, and assault

So many of us are moved to write books or create other works of art because of a traumatic life experience that we've suffered through. But when those experiences also carry a stigma, it can be tough to navigate the feelings of shame, self-protection, and privacy issues that come up. How do you free yourself to share your story when you're worried that it might affect your reputation or your career? My guest today knows all about it, and she's here to share her insights.

Mary Beth O'Connor is an addiction recovery advocate who's been clean and sober for nearly 30 years. But in her teens and young adulthood, Mary Beth was addicted to methamphetamines, shooting up daily for years. It nearly destroyed her life. Yet after getting clean, she put herself through law school, became a lawyer, and eventually a federal judge. She chronicles her journey and offers hope to others seeking to break free from addiction and level up their lives in her memoir, From Junkie to Judge: One Woman's Triumph Over Trauma and Addiction.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How writing the book helped restore her self-confidence and self-compassion.
• How she transformed herself from just a legal writer with no experience in creative writing into an award-winning author. (Hint: Lots of reading, writing classes, and workshop groups were involved!)
• What her process of getting an agent and publishing deal was like.
• How she handles criticism from the public.
• The doors that writing a book can open for you—from media appearances to speaking engagements at conferences and events.

For more, check out:
junkietojudge.com
maggielangrick.com
wonderwell.press

And follow:
twitter.com/MaryBethO_
instagram.com/maggielangrick
instagram.com/wonderwellpress
instagram.com/selfishgiftpodcast

This episode is a no-holds-barred, myth-busting conversation with an incredibly smart and successful publishing professional. Richelle Fredson is a book coach, a publishing consultant, and the host of the Bound + Determined podcast. She's been in the industry for close to 20 years, formerly the director of publicity and book marketing for Hay House, and then part of their book acquisitions team.

Richelle may not use this moniker to describe herself, but many people call her "the six-figure book coach"—and for good reason. She now runs her own business supporting authors in the proposal and book development process, frequently landing them placements with influential agents and Big Five publishers. Today, we're going to scrape all of her best knowledge to expose the blind spots and correct misperceptions that most first-time authors have when starting their publishing journey.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• How to make smart publishing decisions and navigate the sea of conflicting advice on the internet.
• How to decide which publishing path is best for you: self-publishing, hybrid, or traditional. (Hint: Whether or not you want to be in bookstores plays a big part in it.)
• Why putting the work into a professionally developed book plan/proposal is key—even if you’re self-publishing.
• What is important and what is not in terms of author platform—size, composition, etc.
• What a first-time author can reasonably expect, in terms of bestseller lists, advances, and royalties.

For more, check out:
richellefredson.com
maggielangrick.com
wonderwell.press

And follow:
instagram.com/richellefredson
instagram.com/maggielangrick
instagram.com/wonderwellpress
instagram.com/selfishgiftpodcast