I-0: Prologue: The Do-Over

I-I: To Love and Conquer

I-II: Australian Gothic

I-III: Sleep

I-IV: Wake In Fright

I-V: Spartan Mirage

My fears certainly don’t love me, but they haven’t conquered me either. And right now, that’s OK. At least "that’s OK " until something forces us to fight to the death.

I looked inwards, and it was so dark that not even black couldn’t escape. It was just a devil’s dust bowl of words: “Cutting off pieces of yourself to find yourself. Like you always do.”

If nothing else, after years of sleeping so badly, I’m about to have the deepest sleep I’ve had in some time.

“You’ve earned this.” I think to myself. “At least this.”

If you’ve ever had a lifelong battle with a personal problem, chances are you have taken a few weird - maybe drastic - measures to come out on top.

For me that was in 2012 when I went to a health retreat that was hosted by a fundamentalist religious sect, deep in the Southern Highlands of NSW.

Let me tell you all a story about one of the most important moments of my life: my gastric sleeve surgery.

Or rather, let me tell you my story about why an otherwise common, life-saving procedure was, and still is, such an earth-shattering experience for me...