Hi Moms! Who are you surrounded by in your journey? Are you alone when it comes to support?

Or do you have a small number of people around you who understand autism and support you?

You might have a mix of people who get autism with those who don’t. Regardless of where you are in your journey, you won’t want to miss this.

In this episode, we dive into building the support you need for your autism journey starting with where you are based on your needs.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/91

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Can Moms Manage Their Autism Journey Successfully on Their Own or With Limited Support?

In previous episodes, I mentioned the early years of my journey and how I lacked community. Things were very different then.

My husband and I believed that we were doing well on our own. Afterall, it is hard to help others understand autism.

They often have many preconceived ideas about autism. It’s hard to understand something so complex when you have little to no experience with it.

I was a psychologist, so I figured that between me and my husband, we could handle it.

That sounded good, right? But it wasn’t realistic. We needed more. Our lives changed so much once we made the decision to invite others in. The right people, of course.

What Does a Positive Community Look Like for an Autism Mom?

The autism experience has its ups and downs as with anything in life. Sometimes people don’t understand the “why” behind the behavior.

They don’t understand how autistics experience the world differently based on their sensory needs. As humans, we often make assumptions about things we don’t understand.

There is one thing I want you to remember. You only have control over you. Your thoughts… your actions… Others are responsible for themselves. They have to make the decision to get it or not.

A supportive community might look like connecting with other moms, support groups, professionals, and so much more.

When you meet someone who gets your experience, it is a huge relief. There is this beautiful shift that occurs.

Even if support is coming from a professional that deals with it from a different point of view, they can still support based on empathy and tips they have learned from other’s experiences. They genuinely want to help.

When I talk about the shift that occurs, I am referring to hope. That is the best example I can come up with. When I feel that shift in being supported, I feel hopeful, empowered, and more confident.

You deserve to have this too because the road we travel can be hard at times. The increased stress, anxiety, demands, and burnout have an impact on our mental health and well-being.

That is another reason why it is important to have a positive support system.

Here are some tips for finding your tribe:

1. Identify what works best for you. Only you know what a good fit is for you and your family.
2. Be mindful that online communities are wide open in terms of what might or might not be a fit for you. It is okay to keep scrolling when your values are different from other members.
3. Find professions that you mesh well with.
4. If someone (family or friend) pushes their ideas on you or refuse to be respectful of your beliefs and experiences, they are not likely a good fit for your supportive en

Hi Moms! As moms, we are all different. We have different beliefs, different personalities, and different situations.

Our kids are the same way. They experience unique challenges that each face differently based on their sensory experiences.

With that said, moms share a multitude of things and the impact it has on their well-being.

My son went through a very difficult season when my husband and I got sick a few years ago. I recall picking him up from Kindergarten one day.

I still had drain tubes coming out of my stomach and was healing. It took everything I had to pick him up and bring him home.

He was in the middle of a behavior and struggling to find calm. He was in full on fight mode trying to deal with his emotions and regulate his body as his two therapists were getting him into the car.

I avoided turning around from the driver's seat. For one, I didn’t want to distract from what they were doing to help him and the process in general. I did not want him to see my tears. I recall thinking, I can’t do this. “Can’t” is not usually in my vocabulary, but I was at a loss for so many reasons.

Moms are human beings. We experience hard emotions and sometimes do not react well. Sometimes we have thoughts that we are ashamed of.

We have ALL been there. It happens. Where we go from there is critical to our success.

In this episode, I share some tips to help you transition from feeling overwhelmed and incompetent to feeling confident and empowered.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/90

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Self-Awareness and Autism Moms

It starts with self-awareness. Without awareness, you cannot move forward. You must first recognize your thoughts and feelings. Remind yourself that “this” is hard, and you’re going to struggle at times.

Once you recognize that and remember you are an imperfect human, you allow yourself to shift and change the narrative.

Moms often get stuck in the negative narrative. I’ve been there too. You cannot win when you’re stuck. We can judge ourselves pretty harshly.

Key Ingredients for Mom Growth

The first ingredient for growth is awareness. The second is reframing. This allows you to shift away from being stuck in negativity to changing your perspective, which leads to success.

I often say that perception is everything. It can make or break you.

It is so easy to get caught up in what went wrong. It can be hard to find something that went right in difficult situations.

One way to reframe your thoughts is to think of challenges as setbacks and opportunities for growth.

Instead of saying, “I can’t” or “there is nothing I can do,” you can acknowledge what occurred and your part in it. Then, you can consider how you might handle it differently in the future.

Don’t forget to celebrate small wins along the way. That gives you momentum and is a wonderful opportunity to identify what has gone right.

One way to feel empowered is to recognize those small wins. Giving yourself grace in the difficulties goes a very long way.

This is one reason why self-care and building your support network are important.

In my upcoming course, I focus on all of the important ingredients for mom's success. This new course is near to my heart because I recognize that autism m

Hi Moms! Facing the unique challenges of raising an autistic can feel very heavy. If I said that there are ways to lighten your load, would you jump on it?

You might not believe it is even possible. But I know it is because I have experienced it myself. There is also years of research that supports it.

In this episode, I share our common experiences and how you can leverage your own innate tools to overcome challenges.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/89

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Common Experiences of Autism Moms

One of the biggest barriers for any autistic child is communication. As moms we become quite skillful at determining our child’s concerns and needs.

However, there are times we miss the mark, which is completely normal. This can feel overwhelming for moms and their children. We want to support our children the best we can.

Moms typically become very in tune with their child’s heightened or reduced sensitivity to sensory inputs. Depending on the child, this leads to meltdowns or withdrawal. Again, there is no perfect calculation for moms to catch this every time.

Transitions and schedule changes often pose issues. Sometimes, moms cannot plan for these. It happens and will happen in the future.

These are things all autism moms experience. The good news is there are things that can help, especially when the unexpected occurs.

When Moms Harness Their Innate Strengths, It Is a Game Changer

Innate just means something within you. Something you are born with whether you are aware of it or not.

What are your superpowers? Everyone has them, but you can’t use them if you’re not aware of them.

Your strengths are key to thriving in the midst of challenges. When you leverage your strengths in these difficult times, you change the outcome.

Sometimes, we feel there is nothing we can do. But we do have some power. Acknowledging this allows for hope.

We are unique individuals and do not all have the same strengths. These are things you are born with. They are a part of you. Once you are aware of your strengths, you can use and grow them like building a muscle.

Here are some examples of strengths that can be used when difficulties arise.

1. Perseverance- Moms with the strength of perseverance do not give up easily and see things to the end. This is associated with courage.
2. Prudence- Prudent moms tend to think things through in the process. They consider the consequences and proceed with caution, wisdom, and reason.
3. Social Intelligence- Moms with higher social intelligence are able to understand their own behaviors and the behaviors of others based on experiences of what has worked and what has not in the past.

They are able to pick up on things relatively quickly. This is an important strength to have when faced with challenges.

So, what are your strengths? This is hard to identify for all of us. Ask yourself, “What do I do well?

If you are still having trouble, remember that everyone has strengths. Ask someone who knows you well to offer their insights into your strengths. Ask a few people if you can.

This is so important because your strengths help you uniquely tackle challenges that often occur.

I hope this helps and I look forward to our time together nex

Hi Moms! Welcome to a space created for moms like you with children on the spectrum. It’s a place to feel understood and know you are not alone.

In this episode, I explore a topic that all moms know all too well at least on some level. It is a hard, yet very important topic. I am talking about lacking a supportive environment or community.

Find the full transcript for this episode at

www.thrivingmomsofautistics.com/88

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

When Moms of Autistics Don’t Have Others to Lean On

Having a network of like-minded individuals, who understand autism is like striking gold. There is so much power and strength in having such a community.

Unfortunately, many moms don’t have that. If they do, it is limited or underdeveloped.

Raising an autistic can be quite joyful, but there are times of great struggles. It is good to have others, who empathize rather than judge and support you through it. It’s a very lonely place to be at times.

I often hear stories of families, friends, providers, and even strangers in public that don’t understand raising an autistic child. There are so many misconceptions making it even more isolating.

People tend to assume that it is no different from raising a neurotypical child and that the same strategies work for autistics. That could not be further from the truth.

Some moms have found groups of moms raising neurotypical but find their misconceptions even more challenging and daunting. Their expectations are so different for themselves and others.

The looks and judgments are harmful even when unintended. It weighs heavily on moms and often leads to feelings of anxiety and depression. These stories are all too common.

Does this resonate with you?

The truth is that you are not alone. There are others like you. It’s just a matter of finding them. It’s not impossible to build a support system of individuals who understand autism.

I help moms create a supportive environment tailored to their needs so they can move towards thriving in their autism journey. For more information, go to the homepage of https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/work-with-christina/ and click on “work with Christina.”

How Can Moms of Autistics Make a Shift Out of Isolation in the Meantime?

Building a solid support system takes time. Here are a couple ways to jumpstart your community.

1. Online Communities - Be cautious because not all online groups are created equal. Find one that suits your needs. There will always be one or two individuals that are difficult, but if you find a group with strong administrators, you will be supported. This is a great way to find others with similar experiences. This is a first step and does not replace in-person connections. It is a great resource and helps you see that there are others like you.
2. Providers and Other Professionals - All families have a team of professionals helping them. Be mindful of your choice of providers. If your child’s doctor doesn’t understand autism, they are not for you. Sometimes there are barriers that are difficult to get around but do your best. It might take time to find other options.

The road is not easy, but you have the strength and resilience to navigate through it. Continue to celebrate small wins along the way. And you are not alone and have options.

I hope this helps!

Let’s meet up again next week!

Hi Moms! Are you feeling held back as a mom and drowning in your own stress? What if I told you that you have the power within you to elicit change.

Yes, you! Even with all your stressors and challenges as a mom of an autistic, you can make things happen.

In this episode, I explore what holds you back and keeps you stuck in the continual cycle of stress.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/87

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

The #1 Thing Holding Autism Moms Back?

There are many barriers to thriving in your autism journey. One of the biggest is your thoughts. We call them cognitive distortions.

They are great disrupters that everyone experiences at some point in life. It is the human condition. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be like this.

Unfortunately, autism moms tend to carrier more stress and challenges. You can address these cognitive distortions and cultivate a growth mindset.

Here are some examples of cognitive distortions:

1. All-or-Nothing Thinking- This is also called back and one thinking. You see it one way or the other meaning that there is no in between.
2. Overgeneralization- You expect that one negative outcome to happen repeatedly.
3. Catastrophizing- Predicting or expecting the worst-case scenario.
4. Personalization- Blaming yourself for events beyond your control.

Do any of these sound familiar? I know because I have been there too. I never want to go back to that.

There is no magic wand to make these go away. It takes work and practice, but you can do this, and you are not alone!

When you stay on the road of distorted thinking, your child learns this type of thinking, which escalates the struggles.

Distortions keep you from seeing the situation clearly and finding solid solutions for challenges.

Embracing the #1 Solution for Getting Stuck in Your Own Head

Carol Dweck studied this very thing for years. She posits that our beliefs about our abilities and intellect can be developed over time with effort. That’s right! We can learn and persevere.

This is important because it can help us reduce stress, improve our problem solving skills, and increase our emotional resilience.

In essence, we start believing that we can influence things for the better, creatively solve problems, and bounce back quicker. Sign me up, right!!!

How Do Moms Achieve This and Grow in their Journey to Thrive?

You can achieve a growth mindset when you practice:

1. Self-Awareness- This is hard to do when it is hitting the fan and things are falling apart. It is important to explore what you are thinking about the situation and ask, “Is this true?”
2. Challenge Your Negative Thinking- When you ask if it is true or not, look for evidence. What are the alternatives?
3. Be Realistic- Are your goals realistic? If not, break them down into achievable goals. Be sure to celebrate small wins along the way.
4. Grace- Show yourself some compassion and grace. The road is bumpy at times and will never be perfect, but you can achieve some calm if you stay the course mentally.
5. Learn- Be open to learning for situations and recognize that you can use w

Hi Moms! Did you know that there is something special within you? Yes! There is! It is hard to see it sometimes because raising an autistic child keeps you busy. You might miss the very thing I am talking about!

When I meet other moms raising autistic children, it’s like the angels are singing above. I have found another human being, who gets it.

I want to be clear. Moms are not all the same. It is their experiences that are similar.

With that said, moms have innate strengths that are specific to them. That means that they are born with and have the opportunity to build those strengths to overcome their challenges.

In this episode, I explore those very individual strengths that moms possess that can be built over time to help them to help them be their best! Also, I explore connection with others to build their community.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/86

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Why Are Strengths Important for Autism Moms?

We moms are more than aware of the stress that we feel some days. It is part of the process. All moms feel stress, but moms of autistics experience unique challenges.

With that said, I would do it all over again for my son. I suspect you would too!

I think it is important to acknowledge moms stress in general. Let’s support one another as moms, who are raising neurotypical and/or neurodiverse children. As one of my t-shirts says, “Mommin ain't easy!

I recognize mom stress in general. Let’s vow to help one another. So many don’t understand autism. But autism moms might forget about the general stressors that all moms experience overall. That can connect us on some level.

When moms of neurodivergent children step up for moms of neurotypical children and vice versa, anything is possible. This bridges the gap! We come together and see beyond what we do not always understand.

So how can moms with unique needs, support themselves and their child to overcome these challenges?

Do you feel isolated because of the differences you face as a mom of an autistic child?

Do you feel misunderstood?

Do you feel like others do not relate?

How can moms align with other moms to bridge that gap?

You might express to others that you don’t have the answers for moms of neurotypicals but are here to listen to them.

Also, you might ask for the same from them. Sometimes, people need time for it to click when exploring our differences. That is natural.

I am here to tell you that these are common feelings! That is right! It is like anything in life. We have different experiences. The important thing is that we listen to others and try to understand their experiences.

Try not to have automatic judgments about something you have not experienced before. It does not feel good when you are on the other side of this.

I have to remind myself of this at times. It is our human nature.

Listen to others and support them the best you can. You do not have to have the same experiences to do this. Sometimes, people just need someone to listen to them when they are struggling. That can be very powerful!

Can’t we do that for one another?

As a mom of your autistic, I have learned that my innate strength go a long way. As a psychologist for three decades, I recognize the importance of strengths that he

Hi Moms! I am willing to bet that every mom will resonate with today’s topic. No one leads a stress-free life. This is especially true for moms of autistics.

That is why this topic is essential for your well-being and longevity. Moms want to be around for their kids long term. Constant stress creates wear and tear on your body and mind.

In this episode, I explore the key to embracing your autism journey when things get so challenging.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/85

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Be sure to subscribe to the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel!

Moms of Autistics Commonly Experience Stress and Challenges

All Moms experience challenges when raising children. The challenges of raising an autistic are different.

While autism moms experience similar issues, their autism journeys differ. It’s not the same for everyone.

Some moms experience elopements and meltdowns at home and in public. Others experience aggression and violent situations.

In addition most moms worry about their child’s safety. I recall our son at age 3 running down the hallway as the church was letting out. Someone opened the door and he took a sharp turn out the door and across the parking lot.

A man stopped his car and grabbed him as he approached the busy street. We were running behind him and calling for him as quickly and loudly as we could.

I was about to have ankle surgery, which slowed me down at the time. It was horrifying.

Some moms experience PTSD from repeated incidents. Our minds can only handle so much. This is why taking steps to improve our well-being is so important.

Seeing your child suffer through a meltdown is so hard. We love them so much and want to help them so desperately.

All of this takes a toll on moms. Not because they are weak, but because the challenges are significant at times.

I do what I can to support my sons well-being. I don’t want him to feel badly about something he cannot help.

It is an honor to be his mother and to be the one who gets to support him. I would do anything for him.

That is another reason why our well-being is important as moms. When moms are doing well, that overflows to their children.

We will never be perfect. There is no such thing. But we owe it to ourselves and our children to support our emotional health.

Moms experience burnout, fatigue, frustration, stress, and often emotional rollercoasters. But that is only part of it.

The Key to Moving from Surviving to Thriving in Your Journey

The key to growth is your perception. How we view events is incredibly important. My advice is to get out of your head! I say that lovingly.

Your thoughts about the world and yourself guide you, and that is what you manifest. You may have been thinking this way all your life, but you can turn it around. What a gift to yourself and your child!

A growth mindset is a belief that one can develop their abilities and intelligence through hard work. Some struggle with a fixed mindset and assume abilities are static and unchanged.

I talk often about stinking thinking, which gets you stuck. I’ve been there earlier in my life. I never want to go back. Research suggests that people with a growth mindset are happier and cope much better with stress.

Let’s Cultivate a Growth Mindset Together as Moms!

Here are some steps:

1. Be kind to

Hi Moms! I am what you might call a late bloomer. I went to college and grad school then dove head first into my practice. I was married to my work for years.

I have many life-long friends. Some chose to get married and have children right away.

By the time I slowed down, married, and had my child, their kids were graduating from high school.

I remember what it was like when we got a minute to catch up on the phone and they were constantly interrupted. Everyone wanted a piece of mom.

I didn’t fully understand that then, but I do now that I’m a mom. So, why am I telling you this?

I didn’t get it initially because I had never had that experience. How many times have you looked back and realized you didn’t fully understand a situation?

We have all had those moments. So shouldn’t we show some grace to those who didn’t fully understand what we were experiencing at the time?

Is it possible to deal with misunderstandings and maintain our friendships with those who do not get autism?

In this episode, I explore navigating isolation, those awkward moments, and when others don’t understand autism.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/84

Please share the podcast with other moms to help them grow in their autism journey. You can also do this by leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. I appreciate you!

Also, check out the Thriving Moms of Autistics YouTube Channel and hit subscribe!

Why Do Some People Struggle with Understanding a Mom’s Autism Journey and Can That Be Changed?

Moms of autistic children often report feeling isolated, especially in the beginning. It is challenging for many reasons. Others don’t understand why you handle situations with your child differently or why your child requires different parenting strategies.

For example, spanking my child would increase the behaviors because he is sensory seeking. Many neurotypicals don’t get that.

As human beings, we mentally organize information that we know about the world based on our experiences. These are known as schemas, which help us interpret new information.

As human beings, we can learn and adapt to new information. Unfortunately, we try to fit new information into our existing schemas, which leads to misunderstanding when it doesn’t fit as we think it should.

Can we learn to understand the challenges of others? Of course we can! We learn by watching others as they experience challenges when we are open to it and when we move beyond our existing schemas.

I struggled with all the interruptions when I was trying to catch up with my long-time friends.

My journey was different from theirs, but I genuinely wanted to know how they were doing and how I could support them.

Having children at that time was completely foreign to me. But I had great empathy for others, and that bridged the gap between my experiences and the experiences of others. I wanted to view the world through their lens to better understand their perspective.

Just because someone doesn’t get autism at this time doesn’t mean that they won’t learn. So how do you build your supportive community in the meantime?

I still have those life-long friends. They are as supportive as they can be. Now, will there be some that take their lack of understanding to a toxic level?

Absolutely! I no longer surround myself with those people.

Achieving the Goal of Gaining a Supportive Community for Autism Moms

The goal is to build a healthy, supportive community that you can count on during challenges and celebrate the victories with.&