What do you get if you make someone madder than hell?

What is the Italian translation of Fast and the Furious?

What would be a surprisingly tasteful name for a furry convention?

The answer to all three, of course, is Furiosa!

Come get gassed up with some high-octane diesel as the Pals steer this V8 ep into a hydraulically-hectic ignition of epic Pal-portions.

CARS!

You've surely heard of Spectacular Steve, caught wind of Wondrous Warwick, made note of Not-Bad Norbit, felt the rumblings of Rah-Rah Reginald... which is great, cos those guys are all swell!

Anyway, listen to this week's episode of Throw in the Pal, which is about a movie called Magic Mike.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE

Q: I'm here today for Primetime Pals, interviewing our latest guest: an honest-to-God vampire!

V: The world is a murky tomb and I am its deathless curator.

Q: Uh-huh, sounds great! So, what's it like being a prince of darkness, a scourge upon the lifeblood of us mortals, an exsanguinator par excellence?

V: Oh, y'know, it's pretty drab.

Q: I'm sure that's not true! Why, sitting before me right now is one resplendent fellow, dressed to the nines, your mane of hair set perfectly, with the porcelain pallidness of a marble statue.

V: [sigh] I'm terribly sad.

Q: ...ok. Well, why don't you give us some insight into the enthralling, devious behaviour your bloodlust has drawn out of you?

V: I mean, what's the point of it all, really?

Q: Jesus Christ, mate, you're a f%&king bummer, aye?

V: I just miss Lestat so much.

Q: Who's Lestat, another albino sad boy?

V: He was a deranged, pansexual madman who wrought bloody havoc every which way he went.

Q: WHERE'S THAT GUY?! He sounds like tons of fun!

V: I set him on fire and fed him to an alligator.

Q: Ok, now that's interesting! Tell me more.

V: It was one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'll never forgive myself.

Q: Gah, you're insuffera-Pal!

The Godfather, which art so splendid,

Brando be thy name;

thy meatballs yum;

thy hothead Sonny

in dirt cause he was too reckless.

Give us this day a masculine child.

And forgive us our Clemenzas,

as we forgive those who use horse heads against us.

And leave the gun but not the cannoli,

and deliver us some pizza.

For thine is the business,

the Italian and American story,

bada bing, bada boom. Pal-men.

Allo guvnah, what's all this then? 'Ave I caught you geezers 'aving a right ole sticky beak at Bridget Jones's Diary (2001)? Well, I hope yer right chuffed with yourselves, you pim pom tiddlies! That's only Bridget's most cherished belonging, that is! So what 'ave you savvied from the bloody right gander you gave it? You wot?! You can't make heads nor tails of this 'ere tuppence? Well, don't get your knickers in a twist: these three blokes (which is Ye Olde for "Pals") will 'ave you right sorted.

Billy was a little lad who was told not to prance,

So he took all that naysaying and turned it into dance

Boxing was the manly sport, but Billy's toes were twinklin',

Which caught the eye of Mrs Weasley and gave her quite an inlkin'

That this wee bairn might make it far, achieve more than the plan he

Had for himself, if only he'd get a gander at a fanny*

*This has been a poem brought to you by Throw in the Pal's department of good and normal content, and by reading it to the very end you forfeit all legal recourse against the Pals for having written it in the first place. Please listen to our podcast, where the word 'fanny' is only used when Palbsolutely necessary.

There are many strange places you might encounter in your humble travels. An alleyway abode, a bitumen bistro, a cul-de-sac caddyshack. What's that? You need more examples? Well, it could be a ditch-side dwelling, an expressway easement, a f%$&ing flophouse... or even, quite possibly, a Road House (2024). Goodness, this is the sort of movie that will leave you with some major imponderables: Where does the road end and the house begin? Does Amazon Prime think Post MALone is the next Timberlake-esque crossover music-movie star, and what would possibly make them think that? Why is Conor McGregor? Join the Pals this week as they answer precisely none of these questions.

Alternative titles for this film:

Maiming Jamie

Death to Beth

Slaughter Daughter

Murder Jurder

And all the rest, but we don’t want to keep you here P-all day, so we’ll leave it there. For this episode of Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)…Will the pals kill BIll or kill each other?