Episodios

  • Before You Call Them a Bully: What’s Really Happening in Sibling & Friend Power Struggles

    Before You Call Them a Bully: What’s Really Happening in Sibling & Friend Power Struggles
    Feb 16 2026
    Before You Call Them a Bully: What’s Really Happening in Sibling & Friend Power StrugglesThis episode is part of a 4 Part Valentine's Series! Click the link below to listen 🎧🎧 Episode 1 — Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)🎧 Episode 2 — Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think)🎧 Episode 3 — When Play Makes Things Worse: Protecting Your Child Without Breaking Connection 🎧 Episode 4 — Before You Call Them a Bully: What’s Really Happening in Sibling & Friend Power Struggles(this episode)🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!In this episode, we discuss misunderstood child behaviors, focusing on 'the bully.' Learn how kids' roles in sibling and peer dynamics are actually nervous system strategies. Explore how behaviors like screaming, grabbing, and having meltdowns are survival responses, often misinterpreted as mere bad behavior.I break down how roles like the rule keeper, attention seeker, fixer, and attuner interact and how pressure from these roles can cause a defending child to react strongly ('The Defender'). This episode is a deep dive into understanding the root causes behind what we see as problematic behavior, offering insights into improving relationships and emotional regulation.00:00 Introduction to Relationship Dynamics00:15 Understanding the 'Bully' Label00:33 Nervous System Strategies in Children01:07 Common Behavioral Responses01:36 Series Recap and Episode Overview02:42 The Role of the Defender04:12 Attention Seekers and Defenders05:59 Fixers and Defenders06:56 Attune Children and Defenders09:27 Misinterpretations and Manipulation10:52 Emotional Reactions and Adult Responses14:47 Final Thoughts and Upcoming Events------------------------------------------------------"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them FastCheck out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!Join the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparentingWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog
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    17 m
  • When Play Makes Things Worse: Protecting Your Child Without Breaking Connection

    When Play Makes Things Worse: Protecting Your Child Without Breaking Connection
    Feb 9 2026
    When Play Makes Things Worse: Protecting Your Child Without Breaking Connection | Toddler Toolkit PodcastThis episode is part of a 4 Part Valentine's Series!Episodes to be linked soon!🎧 Episode 1 — Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)🎧 Episode 2 — Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think)🎧 Episode 3 — When Play Makes Things Worse: Protecting Your Child Without Breaking Connection (this episode)🎧 Episode 4 — Not a Bully (The moment everyone misreads)(coming soon!)🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!In this episode, we talk about finding a balance in your child's social interactions. Learn how to protect your child's nervous system without cutting out friends or hurting sibling relationships.We discuss practical strategies like setting playtime boundaries, planning recovery time, and intervening when necessary. We also delve into understanding different social dynamics and teaching children self-advocacy. Join us for tips on maintaining healthy, supportive relationships for your child's long-term well-being.00:00 Introduction: Balancing Time and Relationships01:08 Reframing Protection: Leadership, Not Rejection01:57 Understanding Nervous System Capacity02:56 Containment Strategies for Healthy Relationships03:22 When to Step In: The Role of Parental Leadership04:43 Avoiding Power Struggles Among Children05:49 Reframing the Problem Child Narrative07:23 The Importance of Recovery Time08:03 Respecting Boundaries: Avoiding Forced Closeness11:45 Teaching Self-Advocacy and Social Skills12:43 Conclusion: Building Safe and Healthy Relationships13:15 Upcoming Episodes and Resources------------------------------------------------------"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them FastCheck out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!Join the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparentingWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog
    Más Menos
    15 m
  • Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think)

    Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think)
    Feb 2 2026
    Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think) | Toddler Toolkit PodcastThis episode is part of a 4 Part Valentine's Series!Episodes to be linked soon!🎧 Episode 1 — Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)🎧 Episode 2 — Which Role Does Your Child Fall Into? (It’s Not What You Think)🎧 Episode 3 — Protection Without Ending Relationships (Adult leadership + boundaries) (coming soon!)🎧 Episode 4 — Not a Bully (The moment everyone misreads)(coming soon!)🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!In this episode, we discuss why kids fall into certain roles with siblings and friends and how these roles are nervous system adaptations, not personality traits. We identify common roles like the attention seeker, rule keeper, attuner, and fixer, and explore how parents can unintentionally solidify these roles. Learn how to interpret and manage these dynamics without labeling, and how to support healthier relationships among kids. Make sure to subscribe to Toddler Toolkit Podcast for more insights in our Valentine's series.00:00 Introduction: Understanding Roles in Children's Dynamics02:33 Why Roles Form Among Children04:14 Common Roles Kids Fall Into09:27 How Parents Reinforce Roles11:11 Interpreting Roles Without Labels13:26 Long-Term Impact of Early Dynamics13:51 Conclusion and Next Steps------------------------------------------------------"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them FastCheck out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!Join the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparentingWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog
    Más Menos
    16 m
  • Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)

    Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)
    Jan 26 2026

    Why Siblings and Friends Spiral Faster Together (It's not Bad Behavior)

    🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalk

    "If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

    Ever wondered why your child acts differently with their sibling or a close friend? This episode kicks off a series that explores how children's relationships, especially with siblings and close friends, impact their behavior. It's not about bad behavior, but about their nervous systems interacting. Learn about 'sibling amplification,' why kids can spiral together, and how to support your child's emotional regulation in these relationships. Let's reframe how we view these interactions and move from focusing on behavior correction to understanding and supporting the underlying nervous system dynamics.

    00:00 Introduction: Understanding Child Behavior Dynamics
    00:35 The Concept of Nervous System Interactions
    01:40 Exploring Sibling and Peer Amplification
    02:12 Why Kids Spiral Faster Together
    07:49 Managing Spirals: Separation vs. Containment
    09:08 Proactive Strategies for Parents
    13:31 Conclusion: Supporting Your Child's Nervous System

    This episode is part of a 4 Part Valentine's Series!
    Episodes to be linked soon!

    🎧 Episode 1 — Amplification (How nervous systems feed off each other)

    🎧 Episode 2 — Roles (Who kids become inside)
    🎧 Episode 3 — Protection Without Ending Relationships (Adult leadership + boundaries)
    🎧 Episode 4 — Not a Bully (The moment everyone misreads)


    ------------------------------------------------------
    "If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

    Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!


    Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

    Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

    • Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
    • Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
    • Join the Toddler Mom Community
    • Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
    • Watch the YouTube channel
    • Check out the blog
    Más Menos
    16 m
  • What Your Toddler’s Tantrum Is Actually About

    What Your Toddler’s Tantrum Is Actually About
    Jan 19 2026
    What Your Toddler’s Tantrum Is Actually About"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!Referenced Epsiode:-Why Your Toddler Keeps Melting Down: The Pattern You’re Missing🎉New YouTube Channel🎉: @TheHeatherSchalkEver been baffled by your toddler’s sudden meltdown — even when you stayed calm, explained, and did “everything right”?In this episode, we’re unpacking what toddler tantrums are actually about — and why so many well-intentioned strategies fail.You’ll learn why tantrums aren’t random or manipulative, but signals from a nervous system that’s overwhelmed, disappointed, or stuck in transition. More importantly, you’ll see how aiming at the wrong problem can accidentally make tantrums worse — even when you’re trying to help.I walk you through two powerful, real-life examples that change how you see tantrums entirely:A sibling “sharing” struggle that isn’t about sharing at all A preschool shoe battle that looks like “not listening,” but is really about something elseThese examples show why fixing the behavior often misses the real need — and what happens when you respond to the right problem instead.We’ll also cover:The most common tantrum triggers parents overlookThe one question that instantly shifts how you respondWhy teaching during a meltdown doesn’t work (and what does)A real-life IHOP moment that shows how modeling regulation can prevent a meltdown before it startsBy the end of this episode, tantrums won’t feel so confusing — or so personal. You’ll start seeing them as communication, not misbehavior, and you’ll know how to respond in a way that actually helps your child move forward.00:00 Introduction: Understanding Toddler Tantrums01:14 Why Tantrums Feel So Confusing03:49 Common Tantrum Patterns07:02 The Question That Changes Everything08:10 Why Teaching Doesn't Work Mid-Meltdown09:23 Real-Life Example: The Pancake Meltdown12:34 Changing the Pattern, Not the Moment15:50 Conclusion and Resources------------------------------------------------------"If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them FastCheck out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!Join the Toddler Mom CommunityFollow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparentingWatch the YouTube channelCheck out the blog
    Más Menos
    17 m
  • Two Reasons Toddlers Don’t Listen (and Why Certain Strategies Fail)

    Two Reasons Toddlers Don’t Listen (and Why Certain Strategies Fail)
    Jan 12 2026

    Two Reasons Toddlers Don’t Listen (and Why Certain Strategies Fail)

    Join our Free Facebook Group here.

    "If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

    Welcome to the Toddler Toolkit podcast! In this episode, we tackle a common frustration among parents: 'Why doesn't my toddler listen even when I'm calm?' The answer might surprise you—it's often not a listening problem but a nervous system issue. Learn why toddlers' behavior during transitions, trips, and daily routines can spark meltdowns and power struggles. We'll discuss effective strategies for handling disappointment, loss of control, and autonomy stress. By the end, you'll have practical tips for increasing cooperation and understanding your toddler's true needs. Don't forget to check out our free guide, 'The Seven Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast.' All links are in the show notes!

    00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
    00:11 Understanding Toddler Listening Issues
    01:10 Why Not Listening Feels Personal
    01:44 Common Not Listening Patterns
    03:07 Dealing with Disappointment and Loss of Control
    06:44 Autonomy and Transition Stress
    08:02 Increasing Cooperation and Avoiding Power Struggles
    09:33 Effective Transition Strategies
    12:56 Conclusion and Final Tips

    ------------------------------------------------------
    "If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

    Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!


    Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

    Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

    • Grab The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
    • Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
    • Join the Toddler Mom Community
    • Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
    • Watch the YouTube channel
    • Check out the blog
    Más Menos
    15 m
  • Toddlers Don’t Lie — They’re Communicating (Here’s What to Do)

    Toddlers Don’t Lie — They’re Communicating (Here’s What to Do)
    Jan 5 2026

    Toddlers Don’t Lie — They’re Communicating (Here’s What to Do)

    "If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

    Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast! In this episode, we talk about why toddlers and preschoolers say 'I don't wanna go' and how they communicate distress through behavior, stories, and resistance.

    We'll explore how different rules and environments can create nervous system distress in children and how parents can respond effectively.

    This episode is useful for co-parents, married parents or partners with different parenting styles, grandparents, daycare transitions, and more. We will also cover five common ways toddlers communicate nervous system distress and discuss how to respond without shutting them down. Join us to learn how to better understand and support your child's behavior and meltdowns.

    00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
    00:03 Understanding Toddler Communication
    00:16 Why Kids Say 'I Don't Wanna Go'
    00:22 Nervous System Distress in Toddlers
    00:48 Toddlers Don't Lie: A Deeper Look
    02:04 Behavior as Communication
    03:39 Five Common Ways Toddlers Communicate Distress
    04:23 Avoidance as a Coping Strategy
    05:19 Symbolic Communication: Making Up Stories
    10:57 Fear of Being Alone: Sleep and Separation
    13:05 Dysregulation at Pickup and Drop Off
    14:21 Clinging to One Parent
    15:20 How Not to Shut Down Your Child's Distress
    17:55 Clarifying the Truth Without Teaching Fear
    21:27 In Closing: Supporting Your Toddler's Communication
    22:50 Resources and Next Steps

    ------------------------------------------------------
    "If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

    Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!


    Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

    Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

    • Grab the The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
    • Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
    • Join the Toddler Mom Community
    • Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
    • Watch the YouTube channel
    • Check out the blog
    Más Menos
    24 m
  • Why Your Toddler Keeps Melting Down: The Pattern You’re Missing

    Why Your Toddler Keeps Melting Down: The Pattern You’re Missing
    Dec 29 2025

    Why Your Toddler Keeps Melting Down: The Pattern You’re Missing


    ✨📝Featured Article:

    10 Toddler Parenting Tips From Experts You Can Use Today (What Toddler Experts Wish Every Parent Knew)


    Companion Episode:

    The Hidden Reason You Snap and 4 Things That Stop the Cycle

    In this episode of the Toddler Toolkit Podcast, we'll explore how the hardest moments with your toddler – tantrums, meltdowns, power struggles – aren't the real problem.

    Learn about the underlying patterns in both your toddler's behavior and your own reactions. Discover how changing these patterns can ease perfectionism, shame, and blame, and improve your parenting experience.

    We'll also touch on personal experiences, the importance of self-compassion, and plans for upcoming podcast episodes and YouTube content. Tune in for practical, heartfelt advice just before the New Year.

    00:00 Welcome to Toddler Toolkit Podcast
    00:41 Understanding Toddler Behavior Patterns
    01:17 Personal Reflections and Holiday Challenges
    02:46 The Toddler Reactivity Loop
    04:13 Addressing Root Causes of Toddler Behavior
    05:52 Parental Patterns and Self-Compassion
    08:03 Breaking the Pattern: Practical Tips
    12:54 Final Thoughts and Upcoming Plans

    ------------------------------------------------------
    "If you’re struggling with toddler tantrums and behaviors like hitting & not listening... I have a free guide for you! It’s called The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast—It's HERE!

    Watch us Chat for the Podcast Interviews with YouTube Video HERE!


    Heather has her M.Ed, and a proud Twin Mama of busy toddlers. She's the Toddler Toolkit Podcast Host, a co-author of the #1 International Best Selling Book, The Perfectly Imperfect Family & the founder of the Happy Toddler, Confident Parent Cohort and Course. You might've tried advice tailored for one child, but that's not our journey, right? With a decade of teaching experience under her belt, she's seen it all – from toddlers to teenagers in the classroom. Now, as a parent to toddlers, she's experiencing the flip side of the coin. She's discovered a toolbox to help parents with everything toddler times two!

    Let's unlock the secrets to understanding toddler behavior, preventing meltdowns, and raising intuitive, resilient children.

    • Grab the The Tantrum and Behavior Guide: 7 Toddler Struggles and How to Solve Them Fast
    • Check out the Transform Tantrums: A Listening Toddler In 7 Days mini-course!
    • Join the Toddler Mom Community
    • Follow me on Instagram @heatherschalkparenting
    • Watch the YouTube channel
    • Check out the blog
    Más Menos
    16 m