“Fake it til you make it, “ Mark advised soon after rescuing me from the Wash DC human trafficking swamp. “Predators, abusers, and puppet-tears know exactly what signs of heightened suggestibility to look for. CIA and FBI are trained to look for those specific traits. Hell, even cult leaders are savvy to signs of heightened suggestibility resultant from abuse these ‘daze’ so be aware of the signs they are looking for and fake it til you make it.”

I do not know how I could have survived those first months and even years of healing from MK Ultra mind control had I not heeded Mark’s wise advice. Today I see numerous survivors ignorantly displaying neon signs of abuse and ultimately being triggered back into abuse bases and under mind control.

It is easy for survivors to recognize other survivors, telepathically, energetically and through physical signs. Those of us who have healed from within our selves to reclaim self control and inner peace need to alert other survivors to their signs of vulnerability so they, too, can ‘fake it til they make it’.

Depersonalization results from extreme dissociation to the point victims do not consciously see themselves in a mirror. This results in displays of extreme appearance in a subconscious effort to assert pleas for help that victims struggling to become survivors cannot think to voice.

Depersonalization can become so extreme from unspeakable trauma that victims lose their ability to feel or register pain anymore. Often this is displayed in excessive piercings and tattoos in sensitive areas.

Subconscious displays of abuse can also double as asserted effort to offend or repel others when in fact it also invites more abuse from predators looking for those signs.

My experience under MK Ultra mind control on a White House/Pentagon level included control of my appearance. How I walked, when I talked, and how I was dressed were all controlled through programming.

I deprogrammed the program first, writing out detailed instruction of my programmers. I even heard their voices in my head saying, “walk this way” until I wrote it out. By activating the logic part of my brain through moving a pen, neuron pathways in my brain re-opened, freeing compartmentalized memory and allowing for my own natural physical expression of walking. My gait changed once and for all, never reverting back to programmed mannerisms.

Mannerisms that are recognizable even in children include a fixed gaze on genital areas. This is often a defense mechanism of ‘sizing up’ abuse that also reflects heightened sexuality obsession. In a silent plea for help, the fixed gaze may also be a pleading look at passerbys, into cars, or staring at the ground avoiding eye contact. Be mindful of your gaze, while understanding extended gaze without blinking indicates dissociation and ultimately vulnerability.

Stun guns were commonly used for mind control back when I endured MK Ultra programming. Resultant stun gun electric prod ‘burns’ were strategically left as indicators on strategic parts of my body as a signifier to those in the know what I was programmed to do. These stun gun burns turned into ‘beauty mark’ moles signifying message delivery, oral sex, and more. I had those moles removed since they were a trigger to me and signifier to abusers.

I did not have visible rose or monarch tattoos as many other MK Ultra victims did since my decorative signifiers were usually displayed in jewelry, which ultimately was easy to remove!

Mark explained extreme hair design and color are reflective of depersonalization and heightened suggestibility, akin to a target painted on the highly suggestible. Additionally, severity of pulling back hair like a ninja in a desperate display of clearing 44x acuity peripheral vision as a subconscious defense mechanism can also signify extreme abuse. <

Whenever I would deliver a message to and from government leaders, I would deliver it verbatim, using the voice inflections of my programmers.

As a CIA MK Ultra mind control slave working White House/Pentagon level operations, I was programmed on various military, NASA, and DARPA installations. Our brains photographically record events surrounding trauma as part of our innate defense mechanism.

This photographic memory is how Manchurian Candidate presidents, for example, can deliver a speech perfectly despite being unable to articulately respond to spontaneous questioning (think George Bush, Jr.) Likewise, a lifetime of torture and conditioning rendered my photographic memory easily accessible and programmable. Therefore, I was used as a messenger in conjunction with Black Ops I was programmed to work.

When I delivered messages, my voice photographically parroted my programmers. I used their inflections and could parrot messages in any programmed language with no capacity to interpret or understand. I could not think to answer any questions yet could receive photographically recorded response to take back and deliver to those who had the codes, keys, and triggers to access it.

Consider how amazing our brains are to have such capability!

Consider, too, how this parallels many reported voice-to-skull experiences.

After Intelligence Insider Mark Phillips rescued me in 1988 and I began remembering my MK Ultra mind control experience, I remembered it in photographic detail. By writing out memory by hand, I was able to write out memory in photographic detail the way it had recorded in my brain.

As I wrote, I could hear my programmer’s voice in my head verbatim exactly as the MK Ultra programs were instilled.

This photographic recording made it easier to accurately remember my tortured past through deprogramming the program first. This helped me see through deliberate scrambles and false implanted diversionary memory and access the reality of government secrets I was exposed to for decades.

When photographic memory first surfaced and I heard voices of my programmers in my head, I did not understand what was going on. Had I sought help outside myself rather than go within to find my answers, I would likely have been misdiagnosed as schizophrenic. If I had gone online (which was not available to me in 1988) like many survivors do today seeking answers outside themselves while highly suggestible, I would have gravitated to reports of Voice to Skull programming.

Fortunately, that was not the case for me. Mark Phillips reminded me my answers are within and to ask myself, “whose voice is that?” and write it out. “What is that voice saying?” Write it out. “How did you get there?” Write it out. “Where did you go after” Write it out.

Since the act of moving a pen requires the logic part of the brain, repressed traumatic memory was switched over to critical analysis where it was then consciously viewed in front of me on paper. This allows for healing on many levels at once. Most importantly, it opens neuron pathways in the brain freeing up compartmentalized repressed memory. By opening those neuron pathways by writing rather than vocalizing, the information does not re-compartmentalize.

Using a pen to write out memory is an amazing brain trick we all need to use to expand our thought. Typing does not do the same thing, leaving the programming vulnerable to triggering.

I hear from many Targeted Individuals (TIs) who reclaim and retain self control and free thought through writing out what they hear.

Voice to Skull programming can be a perceptual distortion of repressed memory. When reports of Voice to Skull abuse include repetitious phrases an abusive parent would use, for example “you are worthless and no good” “you can’t do anything right” etc.

Writing by hand has numerous benefits for reclaiming and retaining free thought, overcoming grief, fear, or trauma, and stimulating expanded thought as I’m sure many of you have heard me mention by now.

Did you know you can improve your physical health by consciously altering your handwriting? I learned this and other positive aspects of handwriting while under MK Ultra mind control working for the CIA as a Handwriting Analyst.

Lecturing on Graphology was my cover on NCL Cruise lines while working CIA cocaine and heroin ops as detailed in TRANCE Formation of America. With my photographic memory activated through imposed trauma, I gained much insight and knowledge into the science of graphology while analyzing thousands of handwriting samples. Coupled with my telepathic intuitive senses, my pinpoint accuracy and knowledge earned me respect as one of the best experts on graphology in the nation.

What I learned then and retain now is comprehensive understanding of the crucial need to get writing by hand back into the school system. Typing does not access and activate neuron pathways in our brain the same way writing by hand does, which compounds computerization’s capacity for indoctrinating our children.

I hear parents complain that cursive writing has been eliminated in many of our nation’s schools, leaving the reading and interpretation of our Constitution and other sacred documents to outsiders who may not care to uphold our values.
What if the power grid does go down as so many fear? Twiddling thumbs will replace texting thumbs unless we wise up and re-evaluate the value of writing by hand and knowing how to read it!
Moving a pen is an integral part of mind body function. Different physical strokes of the pen can reflect inner attitudes and health. A tense, aggressive person is more apt to push the pen into the paper harder than a peaceful, gentle person would. A gregarious public figure may write much larger than a shy person with low self esteem. See the logic of this science?
Cursive writing allows for fluidity of thought that is expressed in the fluidity of movement. If there is a hiccup in the middle of smooth flow, why is it there? A catch at the top an otherwise round “o”, for example, may indicate irregularity in heartbeat. If you notice it in your own writing, practice consciously making that “o” smooth and round. This can actually train your brain to regulate your heartbeat! When you real-eyes this power you have over your own mind-body function, you gain insight into the ins and outs of your brains capacity.

I often speak out on the resiliency of body, mind and spirit that we have within us. Yet after decades of conditioning to look outside ourselves to self appointed authority, we forgot that we have the ability to heal ourselves. One little handwriting exercise can refamiliarize you with the power you have within.

If MK Ultra mind control programmers can program a military special forces soldier to take a bullet and not bleed by tapping into the part of their brain that regulates blood flow, imagine what we can do from within ourselves using the strength of the human spirit and infinite power of love driven by our own free will! It’s a matter of knowing the ins and outs of our own brain capability. Again, writing by hand can reMind us where this brain path is through conscious awareness of it!

Exercise is key. Just because you decide you are going to run a marathon does not mean you will win it first try. Practice, exercise, conscious determination, focus, and persistence win!

Survivors of trauma with compartmentalized memory formerly misnamed 'multiple personalities' can write out memory to re-open neuron pathways and free that compartmentalized memory. If compartmentalized trauma endured programming to entertain, then entertaining is all that part of the brain knows.