Episodios

  • Life for Rent

    Life for Rent
    May 25 2024
    So much of our life is a reaction. As if it is determined by someone else’s priorities and emotions and needs, and we become byproducts of their ambitions and needs. It could be anybody - a father for whom we become the fulfillment of failed dreams, a lover whose hauntings of failed relationships find shelter in our quiet nooks, a brother who leans on us when he needs validation or unquestioning support. The list goes on. And we act as obedient support systems - loyal, available, eager to help. Even when we know we are asking for trouble, even when we know it is not in our best interest, even when we know life has something else in store for us. But we still become someone else’s agenda. And we suffer for it. Because we get sucked into universes we did not want to be part of, but of which we become reluctant denizens. And our lives change. And instead of making our own lives, with our own mistakes and compulsions and realisations and hurts and sinews and wounds, we become carriers of other people’s needs, bridges to other needs, derivatives of others dreams. Till we build the courage to look inside ourselves and force ourselves to learn to say - no, no longer, no more. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of the strange dilemmas of life -
    • Adventures in Two Worlds
    • Things We Gather
    • I Like The Ordinary Life

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Sleepers by Sascha Ende Strange New Worlds by Sascha Ende
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    5 m
  • The Art of the Lonely Good Deed

    The Art of the Lonely Good Deed
    May 18 2024
    We are often given chances in life to go beyond ourselves. These could be random happenstances, things which only we notice, and which we may choose to ignore - or not. If we pay attention and choose to clutch at those moments and do something tiny, unwittingly we invite, if not the appreciation at least a nod, from the universe. Maybe nothing changes, maybe nobody notices, but here’s the thing - we change, in tiny degrees but enough to shift something inside us. The quietness in this is important, the element of shy boldness is a prerequisite, the lack of noise is a given. We should do, we should move on. So, what does this unheralded, unspoken of, often unnoticed, act do to us? I think, apart from the loud gifts of DNA bestowed onto us, we are also a growth of things we do, an amalgam of all the traces left behind in us of the deeds we do stolidly or impulsively. But something shifts inside us. Something tell us - we are better for it. To be a good human being does not need headlines or acknowledgment, as it is sufficient in itself. And this goodness radiates out, and people who know nothing of it, also wonder and gravitate towards this basic element which shines through. Because this is a secret which nobody can see but everyone can sense. And makes people dip into their better selves. The fire grows, as it were, with just a sense of the flame. And the world is a better place for it. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on good deeds which fall on us like soft rain -
    • A Legacy of Kindness
    • Maybe, a Little Kindness
    • Why We Should be Happy with Berry Jam on Table Edges

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Artemis by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/6934-artemis License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license & String Impromptu Number 1 by Kevin Macleod
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    8 m
  • Politics on the Dining Table

    Politics on the Dining Table
    May 11 2024
    There is nothing worse than politics dividing family. I have seen people develop distaste for their dearest and closest because of being on opposite sides of the political divide. Something which is (mere) belief, takes on an expanded definition to include a commentary on character, and acts as an unsubstantiated and unsavoury revelation. And with astonishment we exclaim “What! You support —-?” As if it was the ultimate excretion and misdemeanour. In the city I stay in, everybody is a political guru. Some emotionally, and some after study and observation. And it often becomes a battle of belief vs intellect. And conversations and emotions go haywire. And become deeply divisive. And being a highly political nation, where as a people we consume (and practice) politics with gusto, finding someone close being not even close to our political beliefs is dismaying - and often unacceptable. How, then, can a conversation not be a battle? How can we not conclude that the other is at best insensitive or at worst a cretin (kreet n)? The hypocrisies are inherent in the premise. All dining table discussion on politics are nothing more than air. We criticise with the depth of our beings, lean left whilst having expensive wine, talk of one god whilst deeply suspicious of another’s religion. How much do our politics - and religion - diminish us, how it makes our worst define us, how much something which is nothing more than a reaction to headlines makes us be judgemental of the ones closest to us. In a life which is so short, and so completely beautiful, we deliberately lean into what we think defines us, when at best it is an amorphous state - changing as we understand more, read more, feel more, see more.We bring tragedy merely because we give importance to the transient. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of how politics adn religion determine our lives -
    • In Search of a God
    • Mr Hoskote, have you visited Kashmir recently?
    • The Tragedy of the Other

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Liberty Quest by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/293-liberty-quest License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Heavens Gate by Frank Schroeter
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    7 m
  • Adventures in Two Worlds

    Adventures in Two Worlds
    May 4 2024
    We live multiple lives. Each one of us have variations, but everyday our paths fork out. And we move from the secure to the stormy; from standing naked to being armoured; from garnering the blessings of the universe to ploughing through the detritus of the denizery. Often we are able to navigate this transition in the simplest way possible - we remain the same in every world, raw and uncluttered, ready to take the blows for being us. But more often then not, we tweak our selves to the scenarios in front and archetypes expected, to fit in, to flit through, without too much damage to the world or ourselves. But it’s not always easy, definitely not for the sensitive soul, which wants to remain true and get by peacefully. And I say to such people - go gently, be true. For there is a reward at the end of every struggle to fit in or not - to be recognised for being authentic. And the universe invariably converges its rewards towards such people, albeit slowly, dreadfully so. I learned to stay in two worlds as two people for a long time. And it was extremely strenuous apart from being incontrovertibly inauthentic. Until I could no longer be what I was not. I have no memory of the inflection point, the moment when something inside me said “I will implode.” But I dropped pretences. And I lost friends. And I got peace. I seeked lesser commitments, I could speak my mind with ease, I could say no with complete peace of mind, and I walked guiltless. The drainpipe of my worlds became a bridge, and both my worlds converged into one. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on the struggles we face in our daily lifes -
    • I Like The Ordinary Life
    • What Stretches in Front
    • The Passing of Autumn

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Misty lights by Rafael Krux Melodic Interlude Two by Alexander Nakarada
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    6 m
  • Adrift (on parents and lovers we survive)

    Adrift (on parents and lovers we survive)
    Apr 27 2024
    They say, in actuality, there are only two kinds of people in the world - fighters and survivors. I have often thought about this grim prognosis of life, and without attributing anything dire to it, I really think it is close to truth. In seeking acceptances, we often have to struggle with the true us and the version the world wants to see. Because we are first a subset of a larger expectation before we start to even begin to be our own person. The corollary to this is often the complete abdication of lives. Most often to parents, soon enough to partners - husbands, lovers. We are first loved for what we are, and then are given a larger acceptance only if we confirm to their idea of us. If we waver from there, try to become something which is truly us, if we protest, we have to face consequences. It could start from emotional appeal, transcend to consequences, end in incarcerations of all kinds. We often seek refuge, escapes; clutch at straws, good hearts; and find ourselves giving into patterns. One prison for another, as it were. Unconsciously we build shackles inside of us. Without realising we have become our own prisoners. Which becomes difficult to break out of. There IS redemption. Alas, it comes with a high price - shame, isolation, death. Often even unconditional love is not enough, as it it riddled with complex past archetypes, windmills of the confounded mind, as it were. We are finally of ourselves, suicidally jettisoning this one wondrous life. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems talking about our relationship with parents -
    • My Mother is Full of Water and Ready for Sonography
    • Mother's Rambling Lessons on Life Imparted in Morning Walks in my Childhood
    • Tea-a-Tete with Mum & Dad

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Yesteryears (DECISION) by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/244-yesteryears-decision License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
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    6 m
  • In Search of a God

    In Search of a God
    Apr 20 2024
    I went to Varanasi a few weeks back, and spent time wandering the lanes, in temples, on the ghats, sitting beside the river. I was a non-sequitur: a non-believer in a holy city, amidst people who had the name of god continuously on their lips. And I saw holiness and ordinariness mesh in seamless ways. Almost like a message that a spiritual search did not entail you to be anything other than what you are - messy, complex, confused. Because that is where every journey begins. Varanasi is special because unlike other holy cities - Vrindavan, Assisi, Ujjain, Vatican - it is not a mere destination - it is the beginning of a journey. That’s why it’s co-existence as a city of chaos and one of silences, gives it a sense of transcendence. Because that is what, if you really think about it, true religion is all about. It starts with belief, not cynicism; it has intimations of doubt, bouts of questions, dollops of scientific inquiries. And the only reason a person persists is because she knows there are too many questions which the normal human experience cannot answer. And in the space of the unexplainable, we find what seems like the miraculous. We can accept it as grace, and move in our lives with a sense of utmost gratefulness. Or we can give it a name. God. The Unexplained. Mystery. Maybe - mother. In whatever way we find the Unknown, Varanasi is an immersion. With or without the holy dip. It will never leave you unaffected, unmoved or unscathed. Varanasi will hurt you - even as it holds you, heals you, makes you its own. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of the holy -
    • Windblown Om
    • Capturing the Feeling
    • When the Goddesses Depart

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Lockdown by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/7658-lockdown License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Strange New Worlds by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10369-strange-new-worlds License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
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    5 m
  • Lovers as Witnesses

    Lovers as Witnesses
    Apr 13 2024
    Whenever I see couples getting hitched, I say a silent prayer of thankfulness. Because every day the couple has a ringside view of each other, of things which they say and do. They crack a small joke, they fulfil small wishes, they stop someone from stumbling, they secretly make someone’s favourite dish,they listen with their bodies, they stand beside the window and see the morning sun drop on the floor. We all need someone in our lives who can see us for what we are, way beyond what the world sees us, as someone made of greatness and grime, someone who is beautiful and ugly at the same time. Someone who sees us as selfish and doesn’t turn away, someone who recognises the smallest gesture as generosity and embraces us for that. To be ready to be a couple is to be with each other, through the massive and the minute, to know we can be huge in tumult and small in celebration, and still not turn away, because we have promised to take each other as we are. To know that we have the capability to accept way beyond what we can dream of. Because we are privileged to be the witnesses of the lives our lovers lead. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of love as a thing to be witnessed -
    • Coming to Your Side of the Bed
    • Letting Go (because I'm alive)
    • The Things We Become When We Leave

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Sensitive Cinematic Romantic by Musiclfiles
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    4 m
  • Things We Gather

    Things We Gather
    Apr 6 2024
    We are such carriers of burdens. We have nothing to lose, but we carry the weight of such unnecessities. In the end, irrespective of what the Pharaohs believed, we have to leave everything behind. Which then probably is the only time we truly travel light. But here we are - seducing, desiring, acquiring - and if not for things, we are busy burdening ourselves with myriad feelings, emotions which we should have experienced and moved on from, felt and unfelt, tasted, remembered and then forgotten. But such is our blind-sightedness for immortality, our instinct to persevere and our desire of acquiescence, that we give the halo of permanence to the things which are most ephemeral. And therein lies the deepest cut. Because much more dangerous than the quicksand of useless acquisitions is the accumulation of feelings. And how little do we know how to handle those. It is never our passage through emotions that is deleterious, it is our staying in those emotions which creates havoc. Because that’s when we ponder and speculate and conjure - and invariably think of the worst. Much more than the action which precipitates our feelings, it is our continual analysis which brings about fractures in relationships. We have to learn to live through passing storms of ties, be swirled, tossed around, battered, but then to survive and move back into the warmth of our mutual sanctuaries. If we realise that it is in the nature of things that they don’t last, we would be less hard on ourselves or others. If we stop being conscious of the world and learn to revel in the quixotic quirkiness of our beings, and learn to laugh at and laugh about it, we would have found the core of life’s mysteries. Laugh and move on. There would be no need to go to another realm to find ourselves. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems on things we gather and those that we leave -
    • Balancing Beginnings
    • Yearning (and other things we carry in the journey)
    • Gather Me

    Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

    Get in touch with me on uncutpoetrynow@gmail.com The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Liberty Quest by Sascha Ende Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/293-liberty-quest License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
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    6 m