https://newsletter.sankalpgarud.org/52waysguide

Ever feel like you're always putting others first, even if it means neglecting yourself? This episode dives deep into the surprising downsides of being "too nice." I explains how people-pleasing tendencies can lead to burnout , stifle your voice , and even damage your relationships.

If we haven't met 👋, my name is Sankalp, I am a PhD student in psychology at the University of Oxford.

We'll explore the root causes of this behavior (often linked to childhood experiences!), and learn powerful strategies to overcome it. I will show you how to set healthy boundaries, manage that pesky guilt monster, and finally develop the assertiveness you deserve .

This episode is your chance to understand why you might be "too nice," and take control of your happiness! Join me and let's build a more balanced and fulfilling life together! #selfcare #boundaries #assertiveness #personalgrowth #psychology

00:00 Introduction

03:16 Niceness is not the same as goodness

08:01 The selfishness spectrum

12:15 Resentment

13:03 Over-responsibility

13:46 Solution to niceness

14:42 Guilt

20:08 Covert contracts

21:50 Role of childhood

24:33 Exercise: find your rules

27:13 How to not blame others

28:41 Passive aggressiveness

31:48 Silent Treatment

32:37 Exercise: bill of rights

34:53 What are rights

36:30 Most social rules are malleable

37:28 Communication hacks

39:08 Putting it all into practice

39:55 Mindfulness meditation

42:11 Mind body pain

44:46 The cost of niceness

Chuck Garcia is the founder of Climb Leadership International and coaches executives worldwide on public speaking, emotional intelligence, and executive presence. His clients include many of the world’s best and biggest companies. He is a motivational speaker, Amazon bestselling author of A Climb to the Top, and teaches at Columbia University. Chuck is also a passionate and accomplished mountaineer who has scaled peaks all over the world. He formerly spent twenty-five years in leadership positions at Bloomberg, BlackRock, and Citadel Investment Management. His new book, The Moment That Defines Your Life was released on February 6th and distributed by Simon & Schuster. 00:00 Trailer 00:51 Introduction 02:17 Conversation starts 02:41 Chuck's Life-Changing Experience on 9/11 07:51 From Wall Street to Mountaineering: A Career Transformation 09:02 Family Perspectives and Emotional Aftermath 11:29 Embracing a New Career Path: The Journey of Teaching and Coaching 14:34 The Power of Mentorship and Learning from the Mountains 19:14 Does academia fail to create inspiration? 23:54 Stoicism Meets Emotional Intelligence 33:28 Navigating People Pleasing and Niceness 34:55 The Pitfalls of Trying Too Hard 35:52 Eulogy Virtues vs Resume Virtues 37:47 The Power of Genuine Connections 39:26 Cultural Differences in Communication and Assertiveness 40:46 Embracing Nonconformity: Lessons from Churchill and Gandhi 49:16 Emotional security vs courage 50:42 Building Credibility, Trust, and Respect in Your Career 54:15 Public Speaking and Communication 59:59 Final Thoughts: Changing Yourself to Change the World 01:02:55 Wrapping up