Mitch finds himself in a toxic underground cavern in the captivity of a contingent of cryptozoological curiosities. Will he be able to escape his imprisonment? Will he be reunited with his affable Swedish chauffeur Leif? Will we ever get back to the lurid showbusiness tell-all we were promised?

Endnotes:

1. Russell Brand, My Bookie Wook; A Memoir of Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up (New York, HarperCollins, 2009) p.122. Capsule Review: Like Brand as a performer, the linguistic highbrow/lowbrow seesaw schtick goes from highly impressive to grating pretty quickly, especially in regards to the proud tales of sexual exploits that in retrospect read more like the confessions of a predator. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 12.7; Overall FCA ranking: 327
2. Miranda Sings (aka Colleen Bollinger), My Diarrhe (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2018) p.123 Capsule Review: one of the most poorly written of any of the FCBs I’ve ever read, just from the perspective of grammer and spelling, although I guess she deserves some credit for writing it all out by hand. Completely unhinged account of the bewildering rise of the Miranda Sings character among the middle school set, bubbling under the surface with insecurities and inability to tolerate criticism even when in jest and from ifiteen year olds. Instead of an honest account, she maintains the Miranda persona throughout, a narrative conceit I have trouble stomaching. Slack Score: -6; Snark Score: 1.5; Overall FCA Ranking: 451
3. Russell Brand, Bookie Wook 2: This Time it’s Personal (New York, HarperCollins, 2010) p196 Capsule Review: The first one must have sold well, as this ostensible sequel was pushed out exactly one year later. As might be expected, this is a case of diminishing returns, with most of the primo bibliographical tales already mined, Brand is forced to spend more time pontificating on his nascent psuedo-philosophic concepts and anti-political posturing laying the groundwork for his coming devolution. This time around he’s sober, and has moved from burgeoning, quirky personality to full-blown pop star marrying and quickly divorcing A (or maybe A- to B) lister. Even though the hard drugs are gone, the obsession with sex is in full effect, and there are several troubling passages, and a lengthy exploration of one particularly upsetting episode that foreshadow scandalous revelations to come. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: 6.5; Overall FCA ranking: 552

Mitch takes a BM (Big Meeting) with a streaming concern called Drivvel+ to discuss a new so-called reality series.

Endnotes:

1. Maria Bamford, Sure, I'll Join Your Cult: A Memoir of Mental Illness and the Quest to Belong Anywhere (New York, Galery Books, 2023) p.7 Capsule Review: A quirky yet charming look on mental illness. By cults, Bamford is mostly referring to family and 12-step programs, but like Nancherla, below, she’s not afraid of drifting off topic. Not quite the tour-de-force I hoped for, perhaps my expectations were too high. Slack Score: -4; Snark Score: 5 ; Overall FCA ranking: 95
2. Gary Gulman, Misfit; Growing Up Akward in the ’80’s (New York, Flatiron Books, 2023) p.283 Capsule Review: An offbeat but witty peak at depression. The spin here is it’s a (more or less) year-by-year chronicle of Gulman’s public K-12 school years, mostly focussing on one core story or theme for that year and interspersed with almost contemporary interstitial journal entrys to set up or contrast the childhood stuff. Very well written, of course, bordering on overly, which sometimes gets in the way of getting inside the head of an inarticulate pre-teen and definitely makes you question how accurate the anecdotes could be. Slack Score: 9; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 117
3. Aparna Nancherla, Unreliable Narrator: Me, Myself, and Impostor Syndrome (New York, Viking, 2023) p.18 Capsule Review: A peculiar but engaging examination of imposter syndrome. Starts off as semi-clinical investigation into the titular syndrome but ends up being a hodge podge of personal essays and confessions, mullings on social media, the trickiness of political correctness and procrastination. Slack Score: -6; Snark Score: 5.2 ; Overall FCA ranking: 142

Mitch takes a much needed sabbatical in Sumatra, far from the prying eyes of the paparazzi and the long arm of Interpol, to live among and learn from the beasts of the jungle in his everlasting search for comedic inspiration.

Endnotes:

1. Dick Ebersol, From Saturday Night to Sunday Night (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2022) p.98. I only read through the 8H relevant sections, so can’t comment on the whole Ebersol enchilada, but he’s not a comedian by any measure so it’s outside of the scope of this project. Writing is just so-so. He’s clearly just trying to get his side of the story out there, probably takes a bit too much credit or deflects blame when possible 
2. Julia Sweeney, If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother (New York, 20) p. Yes, this is an actual quote. It makes sense in context (sort of). Capsule Review: Fairly charming collection of essays on her life in the Chicago with her husband and adopted Chinese daughter. Still sounds like a pretty boring person though, if you ask me. Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 3 ; Overall FCA ranking: 231
3. E.M. Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born (New York, 20) p. Capsule Review: I was a little surprised to find this volume in the stacks alongside the other FC autobios at the main branch of the Ottawa library when I was in the research phase of this book, since I had never seen a stand-up special or chat show appearance. He’s somewhere between Sloss and Jesselnik when it comes to nihilism, but funnier than either. He doesn’t get into the whole backstory of his life, but instead basically riffs on the central theme that being born is a “laughable accident.”. Slack Score:  -15; Snark Score: 12.5 ; Overall FCA ranking: 22

Mitch infiltrates the ultimate 8H post-show bash, still searching for his missing mullet, and witnesses almost unimaginable displays of debauchery and tribal violence whilst being pursued by an enraged Nora Dunn.

Endnotes:

1. Molly Shannon, Hello Molly!; A Memoir (New York, HarperCollins, 2022) p.207 Capsule Review: Heartbreaking, touching, occasionally funny, moving and inspirational recounting of a life well lived by a purely delightful human. Super down-to-earth frank writing style. Extra heart wrenching in audiobook form. Slack Score: -12 ; Snark Score: 5.2; Overall FCA ranking: 6 
2. Charna Halpern, Del Close, and Kim "Howard" Johnson, Truth in Comedy : the Manual for Improvisation (Meriwether Publishing, Colorado Springs 1994) p.53 Capsule Review: As the title implies, this is a handbook not a memoir, so not subject to FCB ranking, etc. A mish-mash of testimonials from students and acolytes of Del Close, many of them SNL stars, ranting wide-eyed about the magic of improv or whatever.
3. Kevin Nealon, I Exaggerate My Brushes with Fame; Portraits & Stories (New York, Abrams, 2022) p.61 Capsule Review: Not like the others, arguably not an autobiography, although enough of Nealon’s life is woven throughout that I’m willing to accept it (not to mention he’s one of the best stand ups of all time IMO). He presents a series of pretty remarkable, sort of beautiful, painted caricatures of various celebrities, mostly SNL adjacent but not necessarily, with cute, tidy accounts of his titular brushes with celebs, or, in certain cases, how a showbiz legend inspired or delighted him. Slack Score: 14.2; Snark Score: 10; Overall FCA ranking: 98

Mitch comes to in a subterranean torture dungeon and tries to make sense of the last chapter, but can he escape and get to the afterparty in time to be reunited with his trusty hairpiece Dennis?

Endnotes:

1. Amy Poehler, Yes, Please (New York, HarperCollins, 2014) p.23 Capsule Review: Despite sharp and breezy writing, not a lot of laughs, lengthy complaining about the difficulty of writing the book (I get it). Cute stories about developing friendships with Meyers and Fey. Mildly inspirational. Most intriguing section for me was Chicago improv roots outside of Second City and formation of Upright Citizens Brigade. Slack Score: 11 ; Snark Score: 2.6; Overall FCA ranking: 130 
2. David Spade (New York, HarperCollins, 2015) p.118 Capsule Review: As expected, text is formulaic Spade-speak throughout, tales of medium creepiness with women are in (over) abundance, but useful, extensive accounting of SNL hiring and production practices in the mid to late ‘90s. Slack Score: 12.8 ; Snark Score: 14.2 ; Overall FCA ranking: 459 
3. Martin Short, I Must Say; My Life as a Humble Comedy Legend (New York, HarperCollins, 2014) p.124 Capsule Review: Mostly breezy, occasionally wrenching (last chapter on wife Nancy’s death is the most intense example) Specific interludes that explicate the origin and evolutions of various characters he’s created are particularly insightful and one of the most fleshed-out accounts of the Toronto production of Godspell aka the Big Bang of Canadian sketch outside of the full oral history in the Washington Post ( https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2022/05/19/godspell-toronto-martin-short-levy-radner-shaffer-garber/ ). Slack Score: 7 ; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 44

Mitch reveals the spooky backstage shenanigans at 30 Rockefeller Center and how he helped solve the mystery of the Headless Thompson.

Endnotes:

1. Colin Jost, A Very Punchable Face (New York, Penguin/Random House, 2020) p. 231. Capsule Review: Breezy, glass-half full take from guy aware of his advantages, growing up in Staten Island, touching 9/11 mom story and more Harvard Lampoon insight than other FC memoirs. Slack Score: 14.7; Snark Score: 6; Overall FCA rating: 159
2. Tina Fey, Bossypants (New York, Hachette, 2012) p. 145. Capsule Review: Well written, somewhat uneven mix of heartwarming anecdotes, comedic happenstances and career musings. Slack Score: 9.72; Snark Score: 8; Overall FCA ranking: 54 
3. Bob Odenkirk, Comedy Comedy Comedy Drama (New York, Randomhouse, 2022) p. 58. Capsule Review: funny and insightful  tour of multiple points of interest for me, topped by Mr. Show, unconventional, less reverential perspective on Lorne and SNL, fascinating anecdotes on early work with Farley and Conan in Chicago. Slack Score: 12.6; Snark Score 4.5; Overall FCA ranking: 112 
4. A Very Punchable Face, p. 290-301
5. Chris Kattan, Baby, Don't Hurt Me: Stories and Scars from Saturday Night Live (New York, 20) p. 14. Capsule Review: Defensive and whiny, downplays rift with Norm, cringed stories about “dating” 21 y/o Zooey Deschanel, and molesting Charlize Theron and Katie Holmes on live TV. Surprised to learn he was from my neck of the woods (Bainbridge). Slack Score: 11; Snark Score: -2.7; Overall FCA ranking: 443 
6. Jim Bruer, I'm Not High: But I've Got a Lot of Crazy Stories about Life as a Goat Boy, a Dad, and a Spiritual Warrior (New York) p.84. Capsule Review: par for the course SNL memoir. Lots of complaining about how his “talent” was restrained by the producers and lots of grandstanding about the importance of family, etc. Slack Score: 13; Snark Score: 0; Overall FCA ranking: 642
7. Rachel Dratch, Girl Walks Into a Bar...: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle (New York, Gotham Books, 2012) pp45-47. Capsule Review: Kind of a bummer, in keeping with the Debbie Downer character, a lot about her love life, which didn’t really start until after SNL, and many disappointments and challenges there, as well as the fizzling out of her career, chronic typecasting, and drift into spiritualism. Slack Score: 6 ; Snark Score: -3.4; Overall FCA ranking: 289
8. Darrell Hammond, God, If You’re Not Up There, I’m F*cked (New York, Harper, 2011) p.14, Capsule Review: Exceptionally dysfunctional and depressing, even by FC standards, account of childhood abuse and learning to cope by doing funny voices, including recovered memories (dubious, to my mind) self-cutting and secret alcoholism during SNL tenure. Slack Score: -13.6; Snark Score: -7 ; Overall FCA ranking: 379 
9. Jay Mohr, Gasping For Airtime: Two Years In The Trenches Of Saturday Night Live (New York, 20) p.237 Capsule Review: Hack comic writes hack book. Unbelievable entitlement and complaining. Openly admits to completely ripping off Rick Shapiro, lying to Lorne about it, and then is surprised when his contract isn’t renewed. Slack Score: 15; Snark Score: -9; Overall FCA ranking: 633 
10. Tom Shales & James Andrew Miller, Live from New York: An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live (New York, Little, Brown and Company, 2014) p. 531. Most definitive oral history of SNL, with extensive interviews of every significant contributor excepting Eddie Murphy and the deceased. Not technically an FCA, so no rankings given.
11. Ibid, 541

Mitch takes questions from the Seattle media right before his legendary performance on the roof of the Space Needle.

Endnotes:

1. Ali Wong, Dear Girls; Intimate Tales, Untold Secrets & Advice for Living Your Best Life (New York, Random House, 2019), p.* Capsule Review: framed as letters of advice to Wong’s daughters, but otherwise disconnected and rambling, with predictable pop-cultural analogizing and confessional pre-sex grooming ritual semi-jokes often repurposed from her specials. Another example of a comedian eventually rising to some degree of fame and success less from funny demeanour or clever joke writing than by relentless careerism. Likely more relevant for readers that are women, Asian, interested in reproduction and bodily fluids and/or functions related to reproduction. Most useful to me for a helpful guide to choosing Asian restaurants to dine at. Slack Score: 3.8; Snark Score: 6; Overall FCA ranking: 581.
2. Woody Allen, Apropos of Nothing; Autobiography (New York, Arcade Publishing, 2020) pp220-382. Capsule Review: The first third (approximately) details his rapid rise in stand up as a contemporary of Cosby and Rivers (both of whom had the same agent and played the same clubs in Greenwich Village in the ‘60s), writing for Candid Camera, Smothers Brothers, etc.; 2nd part whizzes through movies, mostly describes how lazy, unmotivated, and undeserving of praise he really is/was; 3rd part is primarily an explanation/defence of unsavoury accusations regarding Dylan Farrow & Soon-Yi Previn. Slack Score: 9.72; Snark Score: 8; Overall FCA ranking: 89
3. Dadourian, Eric, live performance at Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, Los Angeles, 2/04/2016, archived at Put Your Hands Together (Earwolf Podcast Network; rebroadcast 12/27/18) more polished version of this routine, “Lunch & Death,” appears on Nebraska 2 (Aspecialthing Records, audio cassette, 2020)

Mitch reflects on his early comedic influences while high on white skunk juice at the bottom of a disposable waste facility in the Alabama woods and explains how, with the help of his chauffeur, he escaped from a pack of cannibalistic mutants in his up-armored tourbus.

Endnotes:

1. Patton Oswald, Zombie, Spaceship, Wasteland:(New York, Simon and Schuster, 2011) p.102. Capsule Summary: Some chapters are straight autobiography, interspersed with cultural observations consistent with his proto-geek persona: Dungeons & Dragons, sci-fi B pictures, REM, etc. Some interesting insights, the titular essay also referenced in this transmission might be most beguiling. Pleasant read. If anything, as with his stand up, language might be a notch too clever for it’s own good. Slack Score: 12; Snark Score 8.3; Overall FCA ranking: 338
2. Whoopi Goldberg, Book (William Morrow and Company, 1997) p.127. Capsule Summary: More a series  of mildly amusing essays, some more ranty than others, than autobiography. Her beliefs on subjects such as religion and politics are elucidated, as are her sexual proclivities and defecatory practices. Slack Score: 2.7; Snark Score 5; Overall FCA ranking: 197
3. Mort Sahl, Heartland (New York/London, Harcourt, Brace, Jovonovich, 1976) p.145. Capsule Summary: Predictably great writing from the progenitor of Stewart and Colbert, though (also predictably) riddled with anachronisms. Profundity, usually regarding Sahl’s faith in the American people, is undercut by finger-pointing, score-settling, gossip-peddling, and a devolution into conspiracy chaser. Slack Score: 0; Snark Score: 12.7; Overall FCA ranking: 20