Episodios

  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 25: Live from the Maven Space with Rachel Macy Stafford

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 25: Live from the Maven Space with Rachel Macy Stafford
    Apr 20 2023
    Live from the Maven Space in downtown Indianapolis, Aimee Kandrac reunites with Rachel Macy Stafford, best-selling author of Hands Free Mama, Only Love Today, Soul Shift, and more. Aimee and Rachel discuss the challenge of letting go of routine, especially during times of crisis. They also share touching words of encouragement from friends and neighbors, emphasize the importance of looking after yourself, and destigmatize asking for help. Episode Abridged Transcript Aimee: Welcome to Kitchen Chats. Today we are coming to you live from Maven Space in downtown Indianapolis. I am so honored to have my new friend and guest, Rachel Macy Stafford, here with me today.   Rachel: Thank you. So glad to be here.   Aimee: I love to start my Kitchen Chat conversation with the same question. Do you have a moment in your life when you found yourself in the kitchen with someone where there's this major life event, and it's time to talk to a friend about what's going on?   Rachel: I definitely do. After my father-in-law died in 2017, I was just on the tail end of launching my third book Only Love Today. I was coming back from a trip to Canada and grieving, and I just had a really, really dark night where I didn't know if I wanted to stay. I wrote about it because that's the best therapy for me, and I also want people to know that you might see me having this life that seems put together but that I struggle, too. So I put it out there and got a knock on the door within 15 minutes. I do not answer my door, but they were really persistent. And it was my next door neighbor. We're not super close, but apparently she reads everything that I post because she came right over. She is the kind of person that will go there with you. She said, ‘Rachel, I just read your post about your dark night and about the questions that you were having. I want you to know that you don't have to be strong with me. I know you're strong for a lot of people. You can cry with me and tell me how it is.’ I carry that with me. ‘You don't have to be strong with me.’ I use that with people. Because how often are we told that we don't have to be strong, especially as women who are holding up so much for our families?   Aimee: Thanks for sharing that with all of us. That's not something that many of us are able to admit often. And that is pretty relevant to your book and why you wrote it. It's all about: How are we showing up for our families? How are we showing up for ourselves? You wrote this book during lockdown and COVID. So how was writing this book that is so emotionally touching while you're caring a lot for your family in the world that had to be isolated?   Rachel: I definitely had a different approach to Soul Shift than I did to all my other books. In my house, the pandemic deeply affected my youngest daughter. It was one of those things where when you wake up in the morning and you're not really sure what's going to come at you because things are so unstable. I had to decide I'm not going to have a writing schedule. There was no nice, neat little calendar with chapter one this week. I could not plan a thing. And I know a lot of people during the pandemic, they couldn't plan anything.   Aimee: Even after the pandemic, as we're moving into ‘normal,’ when you've got a kiddo who's going through something, you can't keep that schedule. Releasing the requirement on ourselves to have a schedule is not something that I can do very well. But when you're going through a crisis, you just can't have that the same way.   Rachel: One of the things that helped me the most when I was writing a book was self compassion. I talked to myself like I would talk to a friend who was trying to do something really hard at a really hard time. There would be mornings when I would know I'm supposed to be working on this part of the book, and I just couldn't do it. So I would find myself saying, ‘Wait a minute. What can I do today?’ I took over the ping pong table in our basement with construction paper, Sharpies, sticky notes. Even though I couldn't put sentences together, I had ideas and had things I wanted people to feel when they went through the book. So I laid out this kind of map on the ping pong table. What transpired is a book that has all this space in it. It has places to doodle, draw, and journal. It just feels like a place you can breathe because that is how I created it.    Aimee: We talked on our last podcast about other ways that we can take care of ourselves, and you love to swing. What are some of your other self care tips?   Rachel: I don't like to use the term self care because it's really been commercialized, and we tend to think of things to pamper ourselves. But realistically, we don't want to put off our self care for once every six months, right? In the book, I called it the practice of looking after yourself. Because we know how to look after other people. We're really good at it. We’re not so good at looking after ...
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    40 m
  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 24: Navigating Grief with Hope and Purpose

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 24: Navigating Grief with Hope and Purpose
    Apr 13 2023
    In this poignant and heartfelt podcast episode, Aimee chats with Colin Campbell, author of Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose. Colin, who experienced the tragic death of his two children, shares his personal journey. He also offers profound insights on navigating grief after profound loss and finding solace in community and traditions. Episode Highlights Share a heartfelt message. After the tragic death of his two children, Colin had many messages pouring into his inbox. One of the most memorable and heartwarming came from his son’s friend, who wrote how much his son meant to him and some of his favorite memories. “This kid knows what to do,” Colin said. “Just say how much you’re in pain over the loss, and then share a story.” Don’t wait to reach out. If the situation were reversed and a friend had lost their children in a car crash, Colin doesn’t think he would have reached out because of fear. Instead of leaving someone alone in their suffering, he recommends taking the braver approach letting your friend or family member know how you feel. “When we lose someone who’s dear to us and we have an earlier profound loss, we feel lonely,” Colin said. “The idea of having a community that’s there for us is going to be helpful in those moments.” Lean into traditions. Colin’s wife is Jewish, and they raised their children in the Jewish tradition. Even though Colin is an atheist, he found comfort and meaning in the Jewish burial traditions. For instance, the Mourner’s Kaddish, which is a prayer said every day for the first year after the death of a loved one, helped Colin keep re-engaging with his grief rather than compartmentalize it. “We leaned heavily on the Jewish traditions, and it really helped,” he said. “It was so helpful to share these feelings with people and have them just be validated, heard, witnessed, and then processed.” Keep reaching out. In the early days of grief, someone may not be feeling well enough to get out of bed or interact with people. Colin recommends reaching back out a few weeks later to see if that person is ready to talk or get together. He’s yet to hear somebody in one of his grief groups complain that they’ve gotten too much attention or love from a community. “If you’re going to support someone in grief, it’s so important to keep reaching out,” he said. “That’s a beautiful way to support somebody because they will absolutely, at a certain point, say yes.” Grief comes in waves. When Colin first lost his children, he would weep, and he noticed people had a fear that he or they would cry if they talked about his kids. Although Colin still cries some days, he recognizes that crying isn’t something to be fearful of but rather a natural part of the grieving process. “There’s that fear that if I really let myself feel these feelings, they’ll never stop, and I’ll be overwhelmed,” he said. “And that’s not how it works. Grief comes in waves. You let it take you and trust that it’s going to bring you back.” Resources + Links Colin Campbell: Website, Instagram, Facebook Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more. WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, communication, and more for those in the midst of a life-changing event. The women-founded and women-led company started as a solution for a friend with terminal cancer. WhatFriendsDo is based out of Indianapolis.
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    44 m
  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 23: From Group Texts To Motion Sensors -- Leveraging Technology For Better Care

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 23: From Group Texts To Motion Sensors -- Leveraging Technology For Better Care
    Apr 6 2023
    Technology has become an essential part of our lives, so it’s no surprise that it can be incredibly helpful during major life events. In this episode, Aimee sits down with Candice Smith, founder and CEO of Caregiven, to discuss practical ways to use technology during a life-changing event. They also chat about technology’s limits and when a new app or tool may not be the right answer. Episode Highlights Set up a group text. One easy way to incorporate technology during a major event is to create a group text thread to keep multiple people informed of updates at once. When creating the group, ask the people on the thread to introduce themselves, so everyone can see who they are and not just a string of numbers. “I hate being on text threads, and there’s just a phone number,” Candice said. Create an online calendar. After creating a group text, you will likely start to get an idea of how people might want to help and when they’re free. However, this information can quickly get overwhelming with your other day-to-day responsibilities. Consider setting up a separate online calendar to organize appointments and information related to the major life event. By creating a distinct calendar that integrates with your personal and work calendars, you can easily access important information but still temporarily hide information that can be emotionally draining when you don’t need it. “Sometimes these events are draining emotionally and you don’t want to be reminded while you’re at work,” Candice said. “Let’s say that today is the day that hospice is coming in. I don’t necessarily want to see that during the day.” Turn on alarms and reminders. When Candice’s Dad was dying from cancer, she turned on audible alarms on his iPad to remind him to drink water. Her Dad would get so annoyed with the noise that he got up to turn off the alarm, but because he was already up, he ended up drinking the water he needed. “Reminders are a great thing to physically stop somebody from their day-to-day, even if it’s just to turn it off,” Candice said.  There’s an app for that. Whether you’re going through a pregnancy, breakup, or life-threatening illness, there’s likely an app or technology that can help you navigate that life experience. Types of technologies that might help include: Baby monitors to hear noise in another room (even if you don’t have an infant) Light fixtures for non-intrusive motion sensing Apple Watch or alert button to detect falls Keep in mind that when it comes to apps and technology, one size doesn’t fit all and what works for you might not work for others. Also, you don’t have to stick with the first app or service you try. “Nobody’s out there Googling caregiving apps or mental health apps unless there’s a reason -- and it’s usually a dramatic or traumatic reason,” Candice said. “Figure out what you like and what you don’t like. If it continues to work, that’s great, but you don’t have to stick with it and you don’t have to feel guilty breaking up with the tech either.” Technology is not always the answer. Technology can be a great tool when it works -- but a nightmare when it doesn’t. Further, new technologies often come with a learning curve, and the peak of a life-changing crisis may not be the best time to experiment with new tools or apps. If you’re in the middle of a crisis, consider waiting to try new technology until you’ve had some time to settle and identify problems that technology may be able to simplify or solve. Also, Candice reminded listeners that technology doesn’t replace the need for actually caring. “These instances are often the worst experience to date that somebody’s lived through,” Candice said. “No matter how much easier we make it by using technology … it doesn't take away the fact it’s still the worst experience they’ve gone through to date.” Resources + Links Candice Smith: Website, LinkedIn Caregiven: Website, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn Kitchen Chats on YouTube Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more. WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, ...
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    50 m
  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 22: Breaking The Stigma Of Adolescent Addiction

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 22: Breaking The Stigma Of Adolescent Addiction
    Mar 30 2023
    Aimee sits down with Dawn McCord, author of “Chasing Carson: A Family’s Journey through Adolescence, Addiction and Recovery.” Dawn’s son Carson struggled with addiction during his high school years, ultimately leading to a drug overdose. On the episode, Dawn speaks candidly about the shame and stigma that often accompany addiction. She also shares how her friends offered support by just showing up when she needed it most, and how she’s helping other families in a similar situation not feel so alone. Episode Highlights Addiction comes with stigma. Although many people know somebody with a diagnosed or undiagnosed substance use disorder, such as alcoholism, addiction is not something many people openly talk about. Dawn says this is partly because our society doesn’t do enough education about addiction as a disease. “Our schools, our homes are not educated enough on the disease of addiction that we already have this form of bias that it’s something they can control or something the parents can control,” she said. “They didn’t choose to become addicted. It can happen to anyone.” Shame can make it hard to ask for help. The social stigma surrounding addiction often comes with feelings of shame for families with a member with a substance use disorder. This fear of being judged can make it hard for them to ask for help when they need it. “Oh my gosh it’s so hard, and pride gets in the way,” Dawn said. “We all think it’s not going to happen to our kid. I was a Sunday school teacher. I was his youth leader. We went on mission trips.” Just reach out. Because of the shame and stigma, families may not know how to reach out for help when a family member is struggling with substance use and addiction. The best thing that Dawn’s friends did for her was to let her know they were thinking about their family and just show up at crucial times without being asked. “You don’t want to ask for help,” Dawn said. “You don’t want anybody to see your kid like this. But when people do just show up, they’re just saying to you, ‘We don’t care. We’re here for you. We love him. We love you.’” Addiction affects families. For every person with substance use disorder, there are about 8-10 other people affected, and the disease can affect everybody's confidence levels. When Dawn’s son struggled with addiction, his confidence level was “belly crawling” and hers wasn’t much higher. “Whether it’s your child or your spouse, you’re struggling with your confidence level because you can’t fix them,” she said. “You can’t. You’re helpless. You try, and they’re trying.” Addiction goes together with mental health. Addiction disorders often have links to mental health. Even before Dawn’s son started experimenting with drugs, he noticed a change in his thinking that affected his self-confidence. Also, genetics appears to play a role in addiction. In Dawn’s case, both of her son’s grandfathers abused alcohol. “I bet all of us have known somebody that’s in our family or close friend that struggles with substance use disorder, whether it’s diagnosed or not,” Dawn said. Resources + Links Chasing Carson: A Family’s Journey through Adolescence, Addiction and Recovery Adolescent Addiction and Recovery Kitchen Chats on YouTube Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more. WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, communication, and more for those in the midst of a life-changing event. The women-founded and women-led company started as a solution for a friend with terminal cancer. WhatFriendsDo is based out of Indianapolis.
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    41 m
  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 21: Tips For Hospital Stays From An ER Doctor

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 21: Tips For Hospital Stays From An ER Doctor
    Mar 23 2023
    Aimee chats with Dr. Katie Trammel, an emergency medicine physician, to discuss practical tips for supporting loved ones during a hospital stay. From checking visitor rules to keeping a notebook handy, Katie’s insights will leave listeners equipped to better support their friends and family members during an unexpected medical emergency. Episode Highlights Check the visitor rules. Don’t assume that you just show up at the hospital as a guest. Even though the federal government is poised to lift the COVID-19 emergency, hospitals still sometimes limit visitors, especially during seasonal spikes in illness. Hospital websites can provide useful information about current visitor restrictions, and phone operators will also be able to assist you with finding the right floor and directions. “You can always call the operator and they should be able to tell you at that moment what the restrictions are,” Katie said.  Have one point of contact. If you’re fortunate enough to have a large group of supporters during a hospital stay, consider having one person to serve as a point of contact with the medical professionals. Katie recommends making this contact person someone who understands “medical speak” or who has been there from the beginning and knows all of the information. “Having one person that speaks to everybody else is really helpful to both the patient and to the providers,” Katie said. “Because you have one contact person, that person can relay all the information to other people, and you don’t get bombarded with the same questions over and over.” Keep pen and paper handy. During a health emergency, there’s a lot to keep track of and remember. Providing your friend or family member with a pen and a notebook can help them easily document tests, medications, questions to ask, and the names of the professionals who have helped them. “People are coming at you from every direction, so it’s really easy to forget things,” Katie said. “A notebook is a great idea.” Bring comforts from home. A hospital stay can be uncomfortable and unexpected. To make a stay a little easier for a friend or family member, bring some of their personal items from home. Items to consider include: Toothbrush and toothpaste Blankets and pillows Full-size towel Shampoo and soaps Warm socks and slippers “Inevitably a cell phone charge is one of the biggest things people ask for,” Katie said. “We do have phone chargers available, but that’s not always a guaranteed thing.” Offer to help outside of the hospital. Just because someone is in the hospital, household to-do items don’t stop or resolve on their own. One big way to help a friend or family member during a hospital stay is to take care of the home items, such as: Cleaning unwashed dishes Doing the laundry Getting the mail Paying bills Watering plants Watching pets “A big barrier sometimes to people getting admitted is that there are so many things at home that need to be taken care of,” Katie said “Nobody plans to have an emergency where they had to be admitted, but it happens.” Put your medical information in your phone. An emergency can happen at any time, which is why it’s helpful to have your medical information accessible. Most smartphones, including Apple iPhones, have an emergency screen that medical providers can access without unlocking your phone. This feature allows hospital staff to see crucial information, such as your medications, medical history, allergies, and emergency contact. “If you arrive at the hospital and you can’t talk for whatever reason, people can access that and at least have some information to start with,” Katie said. Resources + Links Kitchen Chats on YouTube Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more. WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, communication, and more for those in the midst of a life-changing event. The women-founded and women-led company started as a solution for a friend with terminal cancer. WhatFriendsDo is based out of Indianapolis.
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    31 m
  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 20: Supporting Military Members and Veterans

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 20: Supporting Military Members and Veterans
    Mar 16 2023
    Aimee chats with Phillip Sheppard, a star of the hit television show Survivor, U.S. Army veteran, and former special agent, as they discuss how to support our military members and their families. Phillip, who comes from a large military family and has a son currently serving in the Army, knows firsthand the sacrifices that soldiers and their families make. He shares insights on how to remind soldiers and veterans they’re loved, tips for making mail day special, and how to help veterans access benefits. Episode Highlights Remind soldiers and veterans that they’re loved. Phillip comes from a large military family that now extends to his son. He knows from firsthand experience that soldiers like his son need to hear how much they’re loved while on duty. “Communication is number one,” Phillip said. “You are loved.” Even if you don’t personally know a military member or veteran, you can still find ways to remind soldiers and veterans they’re not alone. For instance, you can volunteer to do activities for veterans. “Once they get back home we have to embrace them and let them know that we love them,” Phillip said. Make mail day special. One part of military life is mail call, where military members get letters and care packages from people they care about back home. Even though soldiers today have email and cell phones, it’s still quite meaningful to get a letter from a loved one, Phillip said. “There’s nothing like a well-written letter, right?” Phillip said. “A letter is something you can feel.” Another way to let a military member know you’re thinking of them is to mail a care package, which can be especially nice for the holidays. Phillip recommends sending a soldier’s favorite item from home. “I send my son care packages where they have fruits,” Phillip said. “Fruits are his favorite goodies. Those are something he missed from when he was at home.” Don’t forget military families. It’s not just people enlisted in the military who make big sacrifices to protect the U.S. Spouses and children who live on bases in cities away from their home towns can also benefit from support, such as care packages of their own. “If your friend just had a baby, there’s not enough diapers, right?” Phillip said. “You can order everything online now and put in a note.” Help veterans navigate the system. Veterans are entitled to numerous benefits, including mental and physical healthcare and opportunities for education, rehability, and careers. However, the programs are sometimes difficult for veterans to understand or navigate. Friends and family can help support veterans by offering to go to the Veterans Affairs (VA) office with them. “They just need somebody to go in and hold their hand,” Phillip said. “The VA is not a bad place to go. Sometimes a first person isn’t suitable for you, but you will get the person you need to talk to, and they can get you on our journey.” Listen without judgment. Military members and veterans go through experiences that can forever change them, and in some cases, alter their perception of reality. One of the best ways you can help military members and veterans, particularly those who may have a mental health condition, is to listen without judgment. “The most important thing you can do with a loved one, or anyone, is to listen without judgment,” Phillip said. “I suspend any judgment about a person’s situation because you don’t know what they’ve been through, and you don’t know how that impacted them personally.” Resources + Links Kitchen Chats on YouTube Phillip Sheppard’s Books: The Legend of Things Past, The Russian Job Phillip Sheppard: Instagram, Facebook, Twitter Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more. WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, communication, and more for those in the midst of a life-changing event. The women-founded and women-led company started as a solution for a friend with terminal cancer. WhatFriendsDo is based out of Indianapolis.
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    44 m
  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 19: The Power of Showing Up

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 19: The Power of Showing Up
    Mar 9 2023

    Aimee talks with Shannon Priddy about the importance of showing up for the people in our lives, both in big events and in everyday moments. Shannon shares her insights on how even small gestures like sending a card or making a phone call can make a big difference in someone's day. She also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and taking care of oneself in order to best show up for others.

    Episode Highlights

    Be there for big and small things.

    When you’re able to attend big events in somebody’s life, it can show that you care. And while you don’t have to attend all big events, Shannon says taking time to attend a funeral, in particular, can be quite meaningful to someone who is grieving.

    But perhaps even more than attending the big events, it’s important to show up for the little things. Regular, mundane catch-up sessions let people know what’s going on in your life in between the big events.

    “Don’t just send me the wedding invitation, the graduation invitation,” Shannon said. “Tell me what’s going on during the week.”

    Even five minutes can be enough.

    In our fast-paced culture, we may not think a few minutes our time will be enough for someone else. But even five minutes can make a difference in somebody’s day. One five minute idea is to mail somebody a card.

    “If all you’ve got is five minutes, you know what, you showed up,” Shannon said. “You showed up. That’s the key.”

    It’s okay to give half-full.

    Sometimes you’re not feeling 100%. In those instances, it’s still okay to show up and give what you can because it feels good to give and good to receive. For instance, you may not be able to bring a lasagna, but you can sit with someone for a little bit.

    “I’m able to give you just a little bit of my presence,” Shannon said. “I know that I’m helping, and it feels really good to allow someone the opportunity to give.” 

    It’s okay to say no, too.

    Many times when you show up for someone, it can re-energize and recharge you. But sometimes, your cup is drained, and you need to put boundaries in place. Make sure you take care of yourself and before you show up for others. 

    “There is nothing wrong with boundaries,” Shannon said. “All they’re doing is letting us fill our cup.”

    Resources + Links

    • Kitchen Chats on YouTube

    • Shannon Priddy: Twitter, LinkedIn

    • Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn

    • WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn

    About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo

    Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more.

    WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, communication, and more for those in the midst of a life-changing event. The women-founded and women-led company started as a solution for a friend with terminal cancer. WhatFriendsDo is based out of Indianapolis.
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    37 m
  • Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 18: Helping After A Disaster

    Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 18: Helping After A Disaster
    Mar 2 2023
    Natural disasters and emergencies can strike at any moment, and it's essential to be prepared. But where do you start? Aimee chats with Chad Priest, Vice President of the Southwest and Rocky Mountain division of the American Red Cross, to discuss practical tips for emergency preparedness. Chad also shares tips for helping others experiencing an emergency -- whether they’re your nextdoor neighbors or miles away. Episode Highlights Know your neighbors. The single best predictor of whether you are able to get through a crisis is whether you know your next door neighbors. That’s because people who know their neighbors tend to do things to help out. “There’s a point at which the logistics chain just doesn’t work,” Chad said. “Something as simple as having a list of five people around and their names and phone numbers is an enormously resilient strategy -- so much that if you did that and didn’t do anything else, I can pretty much predict you’d be fine during most issues.”  Chad stressed that digital apps, like Nextdoor, aren’t a substitute for real-world connection. But he knows that meeting the neighbors isn’t as easy as it may sound.  “I don’t want to sound pedantic about this because this is what I do for a living, and even I don’t know my neighbors, so I’m acutely aware of how difficult this is in the way we’ve organized society,” he said. “We live in a society and our social network ultimately predicts our survival in pretty much every way.” Stay disciplined during a crisis. As part of Chad’s work at the Red Cross, he studies actions that can help people better manage during a crisis. One of those markers is to keep a sense of regularity during emergencies. It’s a tactic his family employed during the COVID-19 pandemic by keeping steady wakeup times. “People who can enforce discipline through change do much better,” Chad said. Keep 2 days worth of essentials. Beyond knowing your neighbors and keeping a routine, you can prepare for an emergency by keeping a minimal amount of preparations in your house. A good measure is whether you could get through a day or two without power. In his basement, Chad keeps water, flashlights, and helmets for tornado-prone Indiana. The Red Cross website has materials to help make sure you’re prepared for different types of emergencies. It’s okay to be uncomfortable. What do you say to someone who’s lost their house? Due to Chad’s job, he gets to see people almost always when they’re at their worst, and the best piece of advice he has is to help a friend going through a crisis to be present to their situation. If you don’t know what to say, Chad recommends: “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I’m thinking about you.”  “You take for granted the invitation you’ve been given to be present with people in that space,” Chad said. “It’s really raw and vulnerable.” Keep checking in. The effects of a disaster don’t end when the emergency does, which is why it can be beneficial to keep checking in on friends and family even months later to make sure they know they’re in your thoughts. ‘The truth is that after a disaster there’s a trauma response,” Chad said. Normal signs of trauma after a disaster include fear, anxiety, stress, inability to sleep, and lack of appetite. If a friend is experiencing these signs, it can be reassuring to tell them this is normal. “We need to say the events that you find yourself in are abnormal, but that your reaction is completely normal,” Chad said. “Friends can do that for each other.” Tap into your desire to help. Humans are hardwired to help after a crisis, but sometimes, you may not have a readily available outlet to help. In that case, Chad recommends leaning into your desire to help by giving time or money to a local organization. ‘We really want you to tap into that and say yes to where you live,” Chad said. “Don’t ignore it. Don’t say there’s nothing I can do. … Do some good.” Resources + Links American Red Cross Resources “A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster,” Rebecca Solnit Kitchen Chats on YouTube Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more. WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers ...
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