The signs of toxicity in relationships are easier to spot where there is overt mental, physical or emotional abuse. But it is the *what hasn't happened* that characterises relationships where one or both partners feel emotionally neglected.

Today I talk avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant, love languages, ghosting, and stonewalling.

Hosted by Paul Ryan

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In today's show I chat with writer, poet, musician and published author Alfred Israel Mead. Alfred is an extraordinary artist of many talents who kindly agreed to speak with me about how he alchemizes his own pain through creative endeavors.

Published in 2021 his book 'The Novelty Effect: A Black Mirror Novel' is a story of death, love, dreams, personality disorders and megalomaniacs. It is a tale of despair amongst the skyscrapers of London. A new technology allows you to live among your dreams, but is life truly a dream? In one man's pursuit to escape suffering, does he multiply it?

We talk about Avoidant personality disorder, Borderline personality disorder, break down some of the traits and how diagnosed or undiagnosed one can resonate with some of the key traits of these disorders listed in the DSM.

Chronic feelings of emptiness, unstable self identity. We explore the Buddhist concept of Anatta or no self. We talk about maladaptive coping mechanisms and how to better navigate the world through self individuation and increased consciousness. We talk about sex as a form of self harm and how different levels of avoidance have affected our lives.

Alfred's many articles and poetry can be found here at https://medium.com/@alfredmead

His book here at Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/Novelty-Effect-black-mirror-novel/dp/B09DMWBVQN

and music here at Spotify https://open.spotify.com/artist/7nxGo8Dg4VOsq7MIzSxsWP?si=12UZtbIIRKW8RhgQj94xjg

Please follow and rate the podcast and follow the podcast account at www.instagram.com/ascendingtheabyss

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Are you addicted to that dopamine hit of social media approval. And is this negatively affecting your mental health. In this episode I talk about approval addiction and its relationship to self esteem. I recommend and read excerpts from 'The Six Pillars of Self Esteem' by Nathaniel Branden and an article published on the 'Choosing Therapy' website https://www.choosingtherapy.com/approval-addict/

Please follow me on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and instagram.com/ascendingtheabyss

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Thank you

Paul

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