In this episode, I explore what healing truly means and the sources of our pain. The goal is to achieve an abundant life as mentioned in John 10:10. Healing involves confronting and overcoming the pain from trials we face, as noted in John 16:33, and not letting it dictate our lives.

HIGHLIGHTS:

Effects of Unhealed Pain:

- Feelings: Disappointment, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness.

- Beliefs: "I'm not good enough," "It'll always be this way," "It doesn't matter how hard I try."

- Behaviors: Addictions, people-pleasing, codependency, escaping behaviors, disconnection.

How Do We Process Past Pain?:

- Triggers: Indicate unhealed pain and help point us to areas of our life where we don’t yet have freedom.

- Childhood Pain: Unresolved childhood experiences can manifest as trust issues, low self-esteem, and codependency. Healing requires processing wounds, setting boundaries, and creating values.

- Past Relationships: Toxic relationships impact self-worth and trust. Healing from these relationships involves reparenting and creating new experiences in relationships.

- Negative Self-Perception: Internalized negative beliefs from childhood affect our adult decisions. We can heal through externalizing our experiences and cognitively restructuring our beliefs and narratives.

- Stress and Burnout: Chronic survival mode leads to burnout and we have to learn the symptoms of stress and burnout and align our actions with our values

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

Welcome to Part 1 of a series on inner healing. The goal of life in Christ is ABUNDANT LIFE — life and life abundantly (John 10:10). But life offers us pain and disappointment that can leave us feeling shame, anxiety, depression, overwhelm, etc. In this multi-part episode, I want to unpack and demystify pain and inner healing in a tangible, practical, and applicable way.

HIGHLIGHTS:

What Are We Being Healed From?

Life’s Trials: In this life, you will have trials of many kinds (John 16:33). People aren’t perfect, and pain happens, often unnoticed.

Facing Pain: Healing means facing the things in our lives that have caused pain and refusing to let the effects of pain dictate our life’s course.

Effects of Unhealed Pain:

• Feelings: Disappointment, shame, guilt, anxiety, depression, hopelessness, powerlessness.
• Beliefs: “I’m not good enough,” “It’ll always be this way,” “It doesn’t matter how hard I try.”
• Behaviors: Addictions, people-pleasing, codependency, escaping behaviors, dissociating, and disconnection from people.

Benefits of Healing: When we heal, we can spend our energy showing up to our life instead of just surviving in it.

What Are We Healing From?

1. Childhood Pain:

• Causes: Neglect, abuse, bullying, rejection, loneliness, emotional abandonment.
• Impact: Childhood experiences shape adult behaviors.
• Signs: Trust issues, emotional dysregulation, low self-esteem, codependency, people-pleasing, self-sabotage.

Healing helps us move from merely surviving to truly living. Remember, the goal is ABUNDANT LIFE. Stay tuned for Part 2, where I’ll dive deeper into more areas of our life where we can experience pain and practical and actionable healing practices and techniques.

HOW TO CONNECT WITH ME:

Find me on social media @chantelleenelson for more engaging and practical content on how to show up to your life! And don't forget to visit comealivelifecoaching.com for more information on my offers and coaching.

​​In this episode, I tackle a question I received from someone on Instagram regarding attachment styles. She asked, “Do you talk about how to do [attachment] differently cause I could sure use that?” With that, let’s explore how to change your attachment style, especially when dealing with avoidant and anxious dynamics.

HIGHLIGHTS:

• Attachment Styles Aren’t Fixed – your attachment style can change with effort and intention.
• Self-Awareness – observe your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relationships to identify patterns and triggers.
• Identify Your Attachment Style – understand that attachment styles can vary depending on the context and relationship.
• Reflect on Your Past – examine how childhood experiences shaped your current attachment style. Your past can provide clues to your present behaviors.
• Assess Inner Working Models – review past experiences and consider how you would like to change your responses.
• Inventory Anxious/Avoidant Behaviors – keep track of these behaviors and analyze them from a working model perspective, considering thoughts, feelings, and actions.
• Understand Triggers – identify what activates your attachment system and how you react. Reflect on what you miss out on by succumbing to these patterns.
• Narrate Your Attachment Patterns – practice articulating your attachment behaviors and their impacts.

CONNECT WITH ME:

Join the conversation on social media @chantelleenelson and if you want to personally dive deeper into relationship coaching, reach out to me at comealivelifecoaching.com. Don't miss out on future episodes where we'll continue unraveling the mysteries of human connection and personal growth!

Until next time, remember: understanding your attachment style is the first step toward building the thriving relationships you deserve.