How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes

Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens

By: Melinda Wenner Moyer

Narrated by: Melinda Wenner Moyer

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a clear, actionable, sometimes humorous (but always science-based) guide for parents on how to shape their kids into honest, kind, generous, confident, independent, and resilient people...who just might save the world one day.

As an award-winning science journalist, Melinda Wenner Moyer was regularly asked to investigate and address all kinds of parenting questions: how to potty train, when and whether to get vaccines, and how to help kids sleep through the night. But as Melinda's children grew, she found that one huge area was ignored in the realm of parenting advice: how do we make sure our kids don't grow up to be assholes?

On social media, in the news, and from the highest levels of government, kids are increasingly getting the message that being selfish, obnoxious and cruel is okay. Hate crimes among children and teens are rising, while compassion among teens has been dropping. We know, of course, that young people have the capacity for great empathy, resilience, and action, and we all want to bring up kids who will help build a better tomorrow. But how do we actually do this? How do we raise children who are kind, considerate, and ethical inside and outside the home, who will grow into adults committed to making the world a better place?

How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes is a deeply researched, evidence-based primer that provides a fresh, often surprising perspective on parenting issues, from toddlerhood through the teenage years. First, Melinda outlines the traits we want our children to possess—including honesty, generosity, and antiracism—and then she provides scientifically-based strategies that will help parents instill those characteristics in their kids. Learn how to raise the kind of kids you actually want to hang out with—and who just might save the world.

Outstanding overall synthesis of some complex ideas

Very practical, very thoughtful - well written and delivered. A few tidbits I’m implementing right away!

Really solid advice on a range of parenting challenges

I read this as part of a book club and might not have picked it up based on title alone. I also don't think I read the full subtitle before reading it so was pleasantly surprised to find chapters about topics impacting older kids, like technology and sex.

My kid is only two so while I didn't find those two chapters super relevant (although there are aspects of both of those chapters that touch on little kids), I found the research fascinating. I had read Emily Oster's The Family Firm last year, which gives you a framework for decision making around topics like technology, but the research in this book is just far more interesting...perhaps because it touches on older kids, so it touches more on areas like privacy and bullying.

I also found the sections on gender, bullying, and sibling relationships really interesting.

One thing I would deliberate is whether this is better as an audio book vs physical book. I found the performance of the reading good, but this might be a book where you want to jump to relevant sections when things happen and you want to reference the research, which is just easier (for me) in a hard copy.

Fantastic Parenting Book

This was a fantastic parenting book. It starts with how current events fueled the author's need to write it, and continues with clear research-based information not only why things need to be done, but how to do them. It covers a wide range of topics, great resources, and realistic expectations about life. I'll be re-reading parts of this for years as I continue to strive to become a better parent. Incredibly well done and highly recommended.

Excellent

Excellent, thanks for doing the research! Thoroughly enjoyed listening to it. Personable and thought-provoking

Alternative title “how to raise kids who aren’t republican”

It was okay. Some good advice. A lot of obvious things. Some practical takeaways. Some rambling on to fill pages when point has been made. A little too woke at times for me. Wasn’t a waste of time but wouldn’t read again.