The First Time He Hit Her

The shocking true story of the murder of Tara Costigan, the woman next door

By: Heidi Lemon

Narrated by: Sylvie DeCrespigny

For readers of true crime and books such as See What You Made Me Do, a shocking and movingly told portrait of the murder of suburban mum Tara Costigan and an examination of why domestic violence affects us all

Tara Costigan was the woman next door. A hard worker. Quick to laugh and easy to like. She was happy, confident, strong. A woman who always looked after herself and her kids. Close with her family and her friends, she was much loved. Then, in 2013, she met Marcus Rappel. A local tradie, he was charming and sincere, they dated and fell in love. That should have been the end of a happy-ever-after story. But for Tara, it was much uglier. And for her family it would be devastating.

A year later, Tara was pregnant to Marcus. Her family had been worried for a while, but Tara didn't tell anyone how Marcus's jealousy was souring the relationship. She tried to keep it quiet. Despite everything, she never imagined he would be physically violent - he would never hurt her.

Tara was wrong. One fine day, the last day of summer in 2015, she was holding their newborn baby in her arms when he attacked her with an axe. Her murder seemed to come out of the blue. But as this extraordinary, often shocking book reveals, it did not.

The First Time He Hit Her is an attempt to understand why dozens of women are murdered each year by men who profess to love them.

Author should have left her personal story out

As always, I wait until I've finished a book before looking at other reviews so as not to be influenced by them. Now that I've read some of the other reviews, I'm relieved to see I'm not the only one who thinks the author should not have interposed her own experiences - as valid as they are and as free as she is to do so. It detracted from Tara's story and to a degree, piggy-backed on a tragic story and therefore disrespected it. I kinow that's not what the author intended but that's how I found it.

What does it matter that the author spends her days "hooking bras across sweaty backs" while trying to establish herself as a writer. I feel like the author sees herself as some sort of romcom character; slaving at a job she hates during the day while waiting for her life to be transformed when her true talents are revealed. That's a different story and should have been kept separate.

I'm also heartily sick of true crime authors who - when they get to the court proceedings - are disparaging of defence counsel and paint them (us) in a rotten light. As unsavoury individuals who act as our client's puppet; repeating untruths, strategising on the border of unethical behaviour and generally being less competent/dignified than the saintly prosecutors.

We have a job to do and if you were ever charged with criminal offending, you would want us to do that for you too.

I can't wait to find a true crime report which keeps its head at the point where the case ends up in a trial, instead of resorting to the standard patter which this book fell into.

Finally - "the judge was exacerbated"? No - the judge was exasperated. An elementary error, surely.

Positives: the narrtor. She had a good tone to her voice and was really easy to listen to. No annoying mannerisms. Just a good steady narration.

Good Book

I just feel like the ends was a little bit repetative but the additional information on domestic abuse as week as the authors own experiences made for great additional info!