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Tell Me What You Want
- Narrated by: Justin J. Lehmiller
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
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Publisher's summary
A leading expert on human sexuality and author of the blog Sex and Psychology offers an unprecedented look at sexual fantasy based on the most comprehensive, scientific survey ever undertaken.
What do Americans really want when it comes to sex? And is it possible for us to get what we want? Justin J. Lehmiller, one of the country's leading experts on human sexuality and author of the popular blog Sex and Psychology, has made it his career's ambition to answer these questions. He recently concluded the largest and most comprehensive scientific survey of Americans' sexual fantasies ever undertaken, a monumental two-year study involving more than 4,000 Americans from all walks of life, answering questions of unusual scope.
Based on this study, Tell Me What You Want offers an unprecedented look into our fantasy worlds and what they reveal about us. It helps readers to better understand their own sexual desires and how to attain them within their relationships, but also to appreciate why the desires of their partners may be so incredibly different.
If we only better understood the incredible diversity of human sexual desire and why this diversity exists in the first place, we would experience less distress, anxiety, and shame about our own sexual fantasies and better understand why our partners often have sexual proclivities that are so different from our own. Ultimately, this book will help readers to enhance their sex lives and to maintain more satisfying relationships and marriages in the future by breaking down barriers to discussing sexual fantasies and allowing them to become a part of readers' sexual realities.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Critic reviews
"Lehmiller's smart, warm, sex-positive book breaks the toxic silence around our sexual fantasies. Reading it may be the best thing you ever do for your sex life, your relationships and your self-acceptance." (Geoffrey Miller, author of The Mating Mind, Spent, and Mate)
"Lehmiller's groundbreaking book points to an alarming divide between the conversations we're having about sex and the conversation we should be having about sex. It provides the nudge we need to change the conversation - and, in doing so, to live healthier, hotter lives." (Eli J. Finkel, professor of psychology, Northwestern University)
"A penetrating, erotic X-ray into the hidden recesses of our sexual psyches. Illuminating and incisive, Lehmiller lays bare the gray matter of great sex." (Ian Kerner, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of She Comes First)
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Not Gay thrusts deep into a world where straight guy-on-guy action is not a myth but a reality: There's fraternity and military hazing rituals, where new recruits are made to grab each other's penises and stick fingers up their fellow members' anuses; online personal ads, where straight men seek other straight men to masturbate with; and, last but not least, the long and clandestine history of straight men frequenting public restrooms for sexual encounters with other men.
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Extreme Feminism and Liberalism
- By David McDougall on 01-17-18
By: Jane Ward
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Mating Intelligence Unleashed
- The Role of the Mind in Sex, Dating, and Love
- By: Scott Barry Kaufman PhD., Glenn Geher PhD., Helen Fisher PhD. - foreword
- Narrated by: Bernard Setaro Clark
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychologists often paint a picture of human mating as visceral, instinctual. But that's not the whole story. In courtship and display, sexual competition and rivalry, we are also guided by what Glenn Geher and Scott Barry Kaufman call Mating Intelligence - a range of mental abilities that have evolved to help us find the right partner. Mating Intelligence is at work in our efforts to form, maintain, and end relationships. It guides us in flirtation, foreplay, copulation, finding and choosing a mate, and many other behaviors.
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Tedious with the gems buried deep within
- By Matt J on 09-26-15
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What Love Is
- And What It Could Be
- By: Carrie Jenkins
- Narrated by: Carrie Jenkins
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
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What is love? Aside from being the title of many a popular love song, this is one of life's perennial questions. In What Love Is, philosopher Carrie Jenkins offers a bold new theory on the nature of romantic love that reconciles its humanistic and scientific components.
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What Philosophy Is and What It Could Be
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By: Carrie Jenkins
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The Gift of Sex
- A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment
- By: Clifford Penner, Joyce Penner
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
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Clifford and Joyce Penner, clinical therapist and nurse, have written a sensitive and forthright guide to understanding sexuality and how it fits into God's design for marriage. This revised and updated version features a new introduction, a section on addictions and the internet, and a timely discussion on sexually transmitted diseases and their consequences. With the latest information on sexuality and intimacy, this best seller is ideal whether you are newlyweds or have been married for many years.
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Very helpful
- By shawna hood on 11-01-19
By: Clifford Penner, and others
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Erotic Intelligence
- Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction
- By: Alexandra Katehakis
- Narrated by: Esther White
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Enjoyable, exciting sex is possible after sex addiction. As a sex, marriage, and family therapist, Alexandra Katehakis introduces a successful program for sufferers and their loved ones that will help them hone their erotic intelligence by making sense of the past, creating healthy habits in the present, and looking toward a more intimate relationship that nurtures honesty and closeness. With Katehakis's help, sex addicts can get in touch with their healthy sexual side and embrace true intimacy and acceptance in themselves and in their mates.
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Care for Self Recovery
- By John Simon on 07-30-19
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Love Understood
- The Science of Who, How and Why We Love
- By: Laura Mucha
- Narrated by: Laura Mucha
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Poets, philosophers and artists have been trying to explain romantic love for centuries, but it remains one of the most complex and intimidating terrains to navigate. Most people are afraid to be open and honest about their relationships...until now. For Love Understood, Laura Mucha has interviewed hundreds of strangers, from the ages of 8 to 95 in more than 40 countries, asking them to share their most personal stories, feelings and insights about love.
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Insightful, informative, and thought provoking
- By James on 03-05-19
By: Laura Mucha
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Love and Limerence
- The Experience of Being in Love
- By: Dorothy Tennov
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 10 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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First released more than 40 years ago, Love and Limerence has become a classic in the psychology of emotion. As relevent today as it was then, this book offers insight into love, infatuation, madness, and all flavors of emotion in between.
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rundown of surveys and stats
- By supermichelle on 12-28-22
By: Dorothy Tennov
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Turned On
- Science, Sex and Robots
- By: Kate Devlin
- Narrated by: Kate Devlin
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
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Sexual activity is central to our very existence; it shapes how we think, how we act and how we live. With advances in technology come machines that may one day think independently. What will happen to us when we form close relationships with these intelligent systems? Sex robots are here and here to stay, and more are coming. This audiobook explores how the emerging and future development of sexual companion robots might affect us and the society in which we live. It explores the social changes arising from emerging technologies and our relationships with the machines that may someday care for us and about us.
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Nuanced, Smart, and Compassionate
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By: Kate Devlin
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The Science of Happily Ever After
- What Really Matters in the Quest for Enduring Love
- By: Ty Tashiro
- Narrated by: Chris Chappell
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
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In this playful and informative exploration of the science behind how to choose a great mate, acclaimed relationship psychologist Dr. Ty Tashiro explores how to find enduring love. Dr. Tashiro translates reams of scientific studies and research data into the first audiobook to revolutionize the way we search for love. His research pinpoints why our decision-making abilities seem to fail when it comes to choosing mates and how we can make smarter choices.
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Simplistic advice...
- By R. Steiner on 02-14-17
By: Ty Tashiro
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
- What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
- By: John Bradshaw
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- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
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Why Good Sex Matters
- Understanding the Neuroscience of Pleasure for a Smarter, Happier, and More Purpose-Filled Life
- By: Nan Wise
- Narrated by: Nan Wise PhD
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
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In Why Good Sex Matters, Wise not only reveals the fundamental problem in how we think about sex and pleasure but also how we arrived at this problematic relationship to begin with. This fascinating book helps us reclaim our innate capacity for joy, fun, exuberance, curiosity, and humor, while showing how reaching our sexual potential makes us smarter, happier, and more productive people. Ultimately, it reveals how a new understanding of sex can lead to a more expansive experience of pleasure in all aspects of our lives.
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An Excellent Read/Listen for Everyone
- By Anastasia L. on 09-06-20
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Mating in Captivity
- Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic
- By: Esther Perel
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Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.
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Slices of life
- By Eric on 12-03-18
By: Esther Perel
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Men Chase, Women Choose
- The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind, and Finding True Love
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- Narrated by: Suzanne Elise Freeman
- Length: 7 hrs and 4 mins
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Men Chase, Women Choose is the first book to offer cutting-edge research that explains how the brain works when two people first meet, start to date, fall in love, and then move into real long-term love. Maslar's unique approach brings together the latest and most relevant neurological, physiological, and biochemical research on the science of love while incorporating stories and examples of composite characters based on participants of her popular classes and seminars.
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Disappointed
- By Kittenheels on 11-18-18
By: Dawn Maslar
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What listeners say about Tell Me What You Want
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kuran W. Bricker
- 01-27-22
Insightful and entertaining!
I heard of this work through a podcast and immediately picked up the audiobook. Wow! It did not disappoint. I listened to it all in one sitting. The author does a fantastic job of describing the research methodology and expertly breaks down the results in an entertaining way.
This book helped me understand my own fantasies and provided insight into the fantasies of my partner. I cannot recommend highly enough! If you only have one credit, use it on this book!
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- Yasha
- 01-04-23
Informative
Extremely informative and helpful. Knowing sexual fantasies are normal and most everyone has them. Great information. Highly recommend
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- John Beaird
- 03-24-21
This book is life-changing
This book is an amazing scientific approach about the truth behind sexual desire. The author goes into detail about anything and everything you could ever want to know about what people desire sexually, why they desire it, and what to do about your own desires. This book will help you understand yourself, your partner(s), and American culture with regards to sexual desire. I recommend it to anyone who is open to learning about statistically common sexual fantasies and their implications on relationships. Overall, this author keeps the story very scientific and factual, being sure to address the possible shortcomings of his study, which adds significantly to his credibility as a researcher.
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- Candace A.
- 06-22-21
Wow, I am full
This book was so informative and exhausting if ingested in one sitting. You really dive into the minds of those around us. I will be reading again for better understanding, all in all a beautiful piece.
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-03-19
Interesting.
I actually downloaded this thinking that I'd learn about the importance of communicating desires and/or something along those lines. I did, in a roundabout way. Groovy book regardless.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-20-19
Clear and scientific read
Enjoyed it. The author presented the topic in a clear and scientifically way, free of judgement and full of encouragement.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Crystal P Yanez
- 08-22-21
love the book, but I can't find the pdf?
maybe I'm not sure where to exactly look, but is the pdf still available at this time who purchases the book?
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- Clay
- 12-03-23
Educational, informative fact based book!
Surprisingly insightful and educational. I didn't expect it to be based on science and research which definitely increases the validity and trust of what's being presented. Strongly recommend and will be sharing with my fiance to read!
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- Langer
- 10-11-22
Enlightening
After having struggled with understanding, accepting & suppressing my fantasies for years, I gave this book a listen based on a recommended. Turns out, the fantasies I’ve had for so long are normal & fairly common amongst many men & women. Suppressing these fantasies for so long has resulted in immense anxiety, depression & increased marital issues for me. Chapters 8 thru the end of the book went a long way in helping me better understand the role my sexual fantasies have played in all these aspects. It’s given me more confidence & somewhat of a roadmap for sharing with my wife of 20+ years. If you have had fears of sharing your intimate desires with your spouse, I highly recommend at least listening to or reading the last couple chapters at least.
Thanks to the author for putting this book together!
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- shane
- 09-19-23
If you only read one book on sex, read this one.
So informative and yet it felt light and easy to digest. Also Justin has a great voice.
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