Becoming a Man

The Story of a Transition

By: P. Carl

Narrated by: P. Carl

A “scrupulously honest” (O, The Oprah Magazine) debut memoir that explores one man’s gender transition amid a pivotal political moment in America.

Becoming a Man is a “moving narrative [that] illuminates the joy, courage, necessity, and risk-taking of gender transition” (Kirkus Reviews). For fifty years P. Carl lived as a girl and then as a queer woman, building a career, a life, and a loving marriage, yet still waiting to realize himself in full. As Carl embarks on his gender transition, he takes us inside the complex shifts and questions that arise throughout—the alternating moments of arrival and estrangement. He writes intimately about how transitioning reconfigures both his own inner experience and his closest bonds—his twenty-year relationship with his wife, Lynette; his already tumultuous relationships with his parents; and seemingly solid friendships that are subtly altered, often painfully and wordlessly.

Carl “has written a poignant and candid self-appraisal of life as a ‘work-of-progress’” (Booklist) and blends the remarkable story of his own personal journey with incisive cultural commentary, writing beautifully about gender, power, and inequality in America. His transition occurs amid the rise of the Trump administration and the #MeToo movement—a transition point in America’s own story, when transphobia and toxic masculinity are under fire even as they thrive in the highest halls of power. Carl’s quest to become himself and to reckon with his masculinity mirrors, in many ways, the challenge before the country as a whole, to imagine a society where every member can have a vibrant, livable life. Here, through this brave and deeply personal work, Carl brings an unparalleled new voice to this conversation.

Critic reviews

"P. Carl narrates this story of becoming himself with a raw, emotional intensity that makes for an unforgettable listening experience. At 51, Carl begins living as the man he's always known himself to be. In the untrained voice of a man telling his hard-earned truth, he navigates his shifting relationship to masculinity and queerness, recounts the trauma he experienced living as a woman, explores his fraught relationship with his wife, and revels in the joy of his changed body. He sometimes stumbles over a phrase or makes an awkward pause, but these idiosyncrasies add to the power of his narration. This story about the complexity of human experience and the specificity of this trans man's life is one that listeners will not soon forget."

A very informative read

I originally found this book thanks to Elliot pages recommendations article. This was a wonderful book and very powerful and also about how America views white males and how transitioning can be and it’s amazing he transitioned regardless of age to chase his ways to be finally whole. A recommended read for sure.

Powerful

This is a beautifully written, powerful account of a trans person and the complexity, pain, and joy that accompany him on his journey. Anyone would benefit from reading Carl’s story and could only become a better human for having shared in it. This is a life changing book and I am so grateful to P. Carl for sharing his story!

Thanks to the author

Great listen for transmasculine people and allies. Carl is incredibly vulnerable about his experience and the trans experience as a whole. Well written and well read.