Why Fish Don't Exist

A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life

By: Lulu Miller

Narrated by: Lulu Miller

A Best Book of 2020: The Washington Post * NPR * Chicago Tribune * Smithsonian

A “remarkable” (Los Angeles Times), “seductive” (The Wall Street Journal) debut from the new cohost of Radiolab, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a dark and astonishing tale of love, chaos, scientific obsession, and—possibly—even murder.​

“At one point, Miller dives into the ocean into a school of fish…comes up for air, and realizes she’s in love. That’s how I felt: Her book took me to strange depths I never imagined, and I was smitten.” —The New York Times Book Review

David Starr Jordan was a taxonomist, a man possessed with bringing order to the natural world. In time, he would be credited with discovering nearly a fifth of the fish known to humans in his day. But the more of the hidden blueprint of life he uncovered, the harder the universe seemed to try to thwart him. His specimen collections were demolished by lightning, by fire, and eventually by the 1906 San Francisco earthquake—which sent more than a thousand discoveries, housed in fragile glass jars, plummeting to the floor. In an instant, his life’s work was shattered.

Many might have given up, given in to despair. But Jordan? He surveyed the wreckage at his feet, found the first fish that he recognized, and confidently began to rebuild his collection. And this time, he introduced one clever innovation that he believed would at last protect his work against the chaos of the world.

When NPR reporter Lulu Miller first heard this anecdote in passing, she took Jordan for a fool—a cautionary tale in hubris, or denial. But as her own life slowly unraveled, she began to wonder about him. Perhaps instead he was a model for how to go on when all seemed lost. What she would unearth about his life would transform her understanding of history, morality, and the world beneath her feet.

Part biography, part memoir, part scientific adventure, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a wondrous fable about how to persevere in a world where chaos will always prevail.

Critic reviews

“Lulu Miller's friendly, curious voice braids together history, biography, and memoir. The former host of the NPR podcast 'Invisibilia' introduces listeners to taxonomist and former Stanford president David Starr Jordan, famous for his work classifying fish. Initially, Miller is inspired by Jordan because he personifies resilience after his life's work seems to have been destroyed by an earthquake. But she also uncovers his darker side while researching. Miller has a slightly husky down-to-earth voice, and her storytelling background in radio infuses her work. Her confident delivery is playful and comfortably paced, her narration engaging and easy on the ear. When Miller deals with subjects like depression and loss in her own life, it's especially meaningful knowing she's experienced the stories and insights she shares.”
— AudioFile Magazine

“What a delightful book... Ms. Miller [spins] a tale so seductive that I read her book in one sitting.”
— The Wall Street Journal

“Some years back, Lulu Miller disappeared down a very strange rabbit hole that led her to places neither she nor you would ever be able to anticipate. I highly recommend you follow her down the hole, because of her singular and gigantic gifts as a writer and storyteller, but also because of what's down there: love, chaos, strychnine, a gun, dangerous delusions, heroic dandelions, a cow, a snorkel mask through which grander truths are revealed... This book is perfect, just perfect. It's both lyrical and learned, personal and political, small and huge, quirky and profound.”
— Mary Roach, New York Times bestselling author of Stiff

“Completely entrancing.”
— O, The Oprah Magazine

“Riveting and rollicking… total magic.”
— Garden & Gun

“I want to live at this book’s address: the intersection of history and biology and wonder and failure and sheer human stubbornness. What a sumptuous, surprising, dark delight.”
— Carmen Maria Machado, author of Her Body and Other Parties

“A great escape… [and] an extended reflection on how to weather the storm during trying times.”
— Outside

“Unconventional… What initially seems like an homage to an indomitable scientist [turns] into a philosophical tale about the limitations of tidy narratives and the dangers of unyielding belief.”
— Undark

Artfully done and thought-provoking

I genuinely loved the story with its blend of biography, personal experiences, philosophy, and psychology. The David StarrJordan material was richly researched, completely new to me, and incredibly interesting.

I think the book deserves the accolades it’s getting. I’m perplexed by readers who give very low reviews to books that didn’t live up to “what they thought it would be” or ironically, “not fitting the category.” The book is clearly intended to be a blend of things, not scientific or purely philosophy and “out of the box.” The reviewers giving poor ratings critique the author on one or more specific aspects, but overlook what she was trying to accomplish, in my opinion. I felt it was artfully constructed and very effective! It was a stimulating intellectual experience on multiple levels.

On the merits of writing style and storytelling, I thought it was superb. Narration was really natural and personable.

For those who may not know about the core message or the philosophical position this book takes, the author espouses atheist/existentialist beliefs. I’m a believer in God, a Christian, yet I valued this window into another person’s experiences and perspectives. She is articulate and detailed about her thought processes, which I found to be very insightful. We can live in harmony even when our beliefs differ. I share the author’s passion for many good things and her disgust for some of the shocking things she revealed (e.g. eugenics, wow).

I will be reflecting on many things in this book for a long time to come. Thank you and Well Done, in one person’s opinion.

Not what I was expecting, but very good!

This was listed in the biography section of Amazon, and that is what I was expecting. While it had biographical content, I'd say it was more of a creative nonfiction type of memoir crossed with scientific journalism and a pinch of philosophy. A wonderful book, still the same!

Great read

Lulu Miller has shared her inciteful true tale with beautifly written language. Engaging, enlightening and philosophical. Great read.

Unusual journey on a taxonomical mystery

It's difficult to summarize Why Fish Don't Exist. I'll start with my conclusion: I liked the story & I thought the author/narrator did a fine job.

This book is a science biography mixed with a young writer's personal history, some sociology, and a surprise murder mystery. Somehow it all comes together with informative, fact-filled lessons about underwater and land creatures, including human beings.

I recommend Why Fish Don't Exist. It made me think and presented some surprises along the way.

Awesome

Can I add some more stars? ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Why Fish Don't Exist is a beautifully written self-relfection journey. An ode to the nature lover, an inspection of how to live a good life, a light shining down into the cracks of our history, this book shares a little bit of everything in a way that feels as smooth as a current.

Through psychology studies, historical moments, and personal observations Miller pulls together a collection for the everyday, curious human trying to figure out what it all means - and how to keep going when life throws boulders at you and/or when you build obsacles through your own mistakes.

I'm a scientist, and I have loved science and nature since I was kid. But as powerful as the methods are to learn about the world, as useful as the critical thinking and problem solving skills I honed are - science is not perfect and definitely not always *the* answer. Lulu Miller has articulated this idea in a much more complete and artistic way than I could in this review, but the idea that what we "know" should always be allowed to be questioned is so important that I'm going to repeat it: never be afraid to ask "How do you know that?" and be open minded enough to hear the answer.