Hola Papi

How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons

By: John Paul Brammer

Narrated by: John Paul Brammer

LGBTQ advice columnist John Paul Brammer writes a “wise and charming” (David Sedaris) memoir-in-essays chronicling his journey from a queer, mixed-race kid in America’s heartland to becoming the “Chicano Carrie Bradshaw” of his generation.

“A master class of tone and tenderness.” —The New York Times Book Review (Editors’ Choice)
“Should be required reading.” —Los Angeles Times

The first time someone called John Paul (JP) Brammer “Papi” was on the gay hookup app Grindr. At first, it was flattering; JP took this as white-guy speak for “hey, handsome.” But then it happened again and again…and again, leaving JP wondering: Who the hell is Papi?

Soon, this racialized moniker became the inspiration for his now wildly popular advice column “¡Hola Papi!,” launching his career as the Cheryl Strayed for young queer people everywhere—and some straight people too. JP had his doubts at first—what advice could he really offer while he himself stumbled through his early twenties? Sometimes the best advice comes from looking within, which is what JP does in his column and book—and readers have flocked to him for honest, heartfelt wisdom, and more than a few laughs.

In this hilarious, tenderhearted book, JP shares his story of growing up biracial and in the closet in America’s heartland, while attempting to answer some of life’s most challenging questions: How do I let go of the past? How do I become the person I want to be? Is there such a thing as being too gay? Should I hook up with my grade school bully now that he’s out of the closet? Questions we’ve all asked ourselves, surely.

¡Hola Papi! is “a warm, witty compendium of hard-won life lessons,” (Harper’s Bazaar) for anyone—gay, straight, and everything in between—who has ever taken stock of their unique place in the world.

Critic reviews

"John Paul Brammer narrates his funny, honest collection of essays. Framing each story with a question, in the same way that he does in his advice column, "Hola Papi," Brammer speaks to the listener as if they were the writer of each letter. This engaging conversational style creates a warm openness that is welcoming and reassuring. Brammer blends humor and self-reflection when discussing coming-of-age experiences, moving through trauma, the bonds of friendship and relationships, and the long and winding road to selfhood. Brammer's writing is both poignant and casual, and in his narration he shares painful and joyous moments with a calm, compassionate eye, relaxed pacing, and a relatable delivery."

The personality

Amazing writing and amazing honesty that really hits home! Listening to someone else who has had similar thoughts and experiences is touching and comforting.

Loved it!

Loved listening to this!! ❤️ A friend recommended this to me. My partner and I enjoyed it.

Great listen!

This book was a great listen. There were a lot of laughs, some educational moments, and guttural sobs with some stuff that hit close to home. But a great look at this author’s experience within the gay community.

It made me feel feelings

I loved listening to this book. It felt ephemeral at times, with the author looking at bleak stories, and I would hope as the reader for some solace and an easy bright spot, mostly to be met by a shrug by the author.
His performance made him feel like a close friend, I felt like an intruder at times, but it was lovely.

Big big recommend, con mucho amor

Enlightening and entertaining.

I learned a lot from this book while enjoying many giggles. The author is a good narrator and brings these essential essays to life.