A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage
A Novel
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A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage
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Narrated by:
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Georgia Tennant
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Kyle Soller
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By:
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Asia Mackay
About this listen
Two former serial killers trying to keep their past buried realize that old habits die hard in this “wildly original, razor-sharp thriller” (Chris Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of All the Colors of the Dark).
“An invaluable manual that I return to again and again.”―Hugh Grant
I wasn't smashing the patriarchy; I was killing it. Literally.
Hazel and Fox are an ordinary married couple with a baby. Except for one small thing: they're murderers. Well, they used to be. They had it all. An enviable London lifestyle, five-star travels, and plenty of bad men to rid from the world. Then Hazel got pregnant.
Now, they’re just another mom-and-dad-and-baby. They gave up vigilante justice for life in the suburbs: arranged play dates instead of body disposals, diapers over daggers, mommy conversations instead of the sweet seduction right before a kill. Hazel finds her new life terribly dull. And the more she forces herself to play her monotonous, predictable role, the more she begins to feel that murderous itch again.
Meanwhile, Fox has really taken to being a father. Always the planner, he loves being five steps ahead of everyone and knowing exactly what’s coming around the bend. Plus, if anyone can understand Hazel needing one more kill, it’s Fox. But then Hazel kills someone without telling Fox. And when police show up at their door, Hazel realizes it will take everything she has to keep her family together.
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Critic reviews
“An invaluable manual that I return to again and again.”—Hugh Grant
“Sexy, stylish, thrilling, and funny . . . Asia Mackay rips up the rulebook in this wildly original, razor-sharp tale of marriage and murder, mundanity and mayhem. I loved it.”—Chris Whitaker, New York Times bestselling author of All the Colors of the Dark
“Certain to be your sassy, twisted must-read of 2025.”—Janice Hallett, bestselling author of The Appeal
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- By: Chris Bruno, David Howard Lee, Shukri R. Abdi
- Narrated by: Taraji P. Henson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Blake Griffin, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 2,847
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 2,800
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2,800
Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 19,183
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 17,142
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 17,117
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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4 out of 5 stars
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,965
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 1,909
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,909
A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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5 out of 5 stars
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 1,240
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 1,103
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 1,099
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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3 out of 5 stars
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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5 out of 5 stars
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Stayed up late to finish!
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Kerry’s life is in shambles: Her husband has left her, her drinking habit has officially become a problem, and though the deadline for her big book deal—the one that was supposed to change everything—is looming, she can’t write a word. When she sees an ad for a caretaker position at a revitalized roadside motel in the Catskills, she jumps at the chance. It's the perfect getaway to finish her book and start fresh. But as she hunkers down in a blizzard, she spots something through the window: a pale arm peeking out from a heap of snow.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Predictable and boring
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Laura Phillips always wanted to travel the world but was too afraid to go it alone. So when her new boyfriend, Dave, invites her on a romantic getaway to the remote island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas, she jumps at the chance. As soon as they arrive at the Pink Sands resort, Laura and Dave are handed cocktails garnished with umbrellas and led to a luxurious suite. It’s a lovers’ paradise. But when they head down to the pristine beach, Laura notices an oddity among the sunbathing couples: a woman vacationing alone.
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3 out of 5 stars
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A Yale lawyer tortured by her loss of her high school friend. Honestly ??
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A Yale lawyer tortured by her loss of her high school friend. Honestly ??
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The Doll's House
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Naomi is devastated when the sale of the apartment falls through, her dreams of moving to an amazing ‘forever home’ nearby with her family are momentarily dashed. But then a sweet-natured single mother named Summer appears, announcing her intention to buy Naomi’s old apartment. And all of a sudden, it looks like Naomi might get her new house after all. At first, it feels like Summer’s saved her life. But as soon as the sale goes through, Summer starts turning up at Naomi’s new house. She’s enrolled her child in Naomi’s daughter’s class. She’s dressing like Naomi.
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5 out of 5 stars
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soooooo good
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Cross My Heart
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 42
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 39
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Story4 out of 5 stars 39
Rosie Lachlan wants nothing more than to find The One. A year after she was dumped in her wedding dress, she’s working at her parents’ bridal salon, anxious for a happy ending that can’t come soon enough. After receiving a life-saving heart transplant, Rosie knows her health is precious and precarious. She suspects her heart donor is Daphne Thorne, the wife of local celebrity author Morgan Thorne, who she begins messaging via an anonymous service called DonorConnect, ostensibly to learn more about Daphne. But Rosie has a secret.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Crazy twists!
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When She's Gone
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 28
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 28
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Cora Valentine has her whole life—and a shot at the Olympics—ahead of her. But when she’s kidnapped on Halloween, her name is splashed across headlines not as an athlete but as a victim. Not even her safe return changes that, especially since no one is caught for the crime. Hounded by the public, Cora’s time as a missing girl and member of the Magnificent Eight has its consequences.
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1 out of 5 stars
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I have a lot of questions...
- By MJZ on 02-28-25
By: Rea Frey
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The Innocent Wife
- By: Sally Royer-Derr
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 4
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Performance3 out of 5 stars 4
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Story3.5 out of 5 stars 4
Olivia Hanson’s husband, Lucas, is her rock; charming and successful, he offers her safety, security and the life she always dreamed of. In return, Olivia is a picture-perfect housewife, smiling and supportive. Until she meets Lucas’s new colleague, Natalie, and sees the flash of hatred in her eyes. Olivia only wants to clear up the misunderstanding. But when she befriends Natalie, secrets come tumbling out that expose the ugly side of Olivia’s beautiful marriage and she realizes there is another young woman caught up in Lucas’s lies.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Gripping and Addictive
- By Sally A. on 01-14-25
By: Sally Royer-Derr
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Every Breath You Take
- By: Miranda Rijks
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 3
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 2
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 2
When Eva's husband Samuel doesn't come home from a boys' night out, she thinks he's sleeping off his hangover at a friend's house. So she waits. And waits... Eventually, he sends her a text—he's met someone else and needs a few days to get his head together. Eva is devastated. How could he do this? How could he do it to their children? She'd thought her marriage was rock solid. She tries to go on with her life as best she can. But then things take a truly bizarre turn…
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5 out of 5 stars
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Another Winner from Miranda and Tamsin!
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By: Miranda Rijks
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The Lost House
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- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 13
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 13
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Story4 out of 5 stars 13
In Melissa Larsen's The Lost House comes the mesmerizing story of a young woman with a haunting past who returns to her ancestral home in Iceland to investigate a gruesome murder in her family.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Wow! Amazing narration and gripping story
- By Ruth Hansten Hansten on 03-09-25
By: Melissa Larsen
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Death in the Downline
- By: Maria Abrams
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- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 7
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 7
-
Story3.5 out of 5 stars 7
Drew thought she was destined to rise above her small New Jersey hometown and make it as a serious journalist in New York City. But now she’s back in Clearfield, pushing thirty, newly single, and living with her father. After a chance encounter at the grocery store, she reconnects with her ex-best friend, Steph, who married young and never left their hometown. But Steph looks … good. She’s tanned, clear-skinned, and glowing. She drives an expensive car and wears only name-brands. What’s her secret?
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1 out of 5 stars
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Do not waste your time or your credit on this crap
- By marie on 02-28-25
By: Maria Abrams
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The Business Trip
- A Novel
- By: Jessie Garcia
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden, Dylan Reilly Fitzpatrick, Fred Berman, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 447
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 442
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 442
Stephanie and Jessica have nothing and everything in common. The two women don’t know each other but are on the same plane heading to California. Stephanie is on a business trip and Jasmine is fleeing an abusive relationship. After a few days, they text their friends the same exact messages about the same man—the messages becoming stranger and more erratic. And then the two women vanish. The texts go silent, the red flags go up, and the panic sets in. When Stephanie and Jasmine are each declared missing and in danger, it begs the questions: Who is Trent McCarthy?
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1 out of 5 stars
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Laughable, disbelieving, offensive, and a complete waste of time and money.
- By Dee on 01-17-25
By: Jessie Garcia
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The Colleagues
- By: Daniel Hurst
- Narrated by: Helen Phillips
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 19
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 16
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 16
I used to enjoy my job. I was good at it and felt fulfilled. I also used to enjoy spending time with the people I worked with. They say you spend more time with your work colleagues than you do with your family members, but that was fine by me because I made two very good friends at the office. I also allowed myself to get a little too close to my boss, but I soon realized that was a mistake. Unfortunately, it was too late by then, and as my personal and professional lives quickly blurred into one, that was when everything changed.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Same ole , same ole!
- By Shots RN on 01-29-25
By: Daniel Hurst
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I'll Tell You Everything
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- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 6
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 6
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Story4 out of 5 stars 6
Amy Linden has a loving husband, an adorable son, and a glamorous career as the hotelier of a grand mountain lodge. Then Ramona Crawford, the daughter she gave up for adoption twenty years earlier, pays her a surprise visit. Ramona wants to know the identity of her biological father—and Amy completely understands. There’s just one problem: the truth would destroy Amy’s carefully curated life.
By: Rebecca Kelley
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Lucy's Coming for You...
- The Advocate Series, Book 1
- By: Ashley Beegan
- Narrated by: Amy Putt
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 4
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 4
Summer Thomas questions her own sanity when violent patient, Lucy Clark, disappears from a locked hospital ward. Because no one else will admit that Lucy exists. As Summer digs deeper into the disappearance, it becomes apparent that Lucy is looking for her too, but Summer should have stayed away. Now, Lucy is coming for her...
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5 out of 5 stars
-
wait...what????
- By Amanda on 03-04-25
By: Ashley Beegan
-
Welcome to Murder Week
- By: Karen Dukess
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall0 out of 5 stars 0
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Performance0 out of 5 stars 0
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Story0 out of 5 stars 0
When thirty-four-year-old Cath loses her mostly absentee mother, she is ambivalent. With days of quiet, unassuming routine in Buffalo, New York, Cath consciously avoids the impulsive, thrill-seeking lifestyle that her mother once led. But when she’s forced to go through her mother’s things one afternoon, Cath is perplexed to find tickets for an upcoming “murder week” in England’s Peak District: a whole town has come together to stage a fake murder mystery to attract tourism to their quaint hamlet.
By: Karen Dukess
What listeners say about A Serial Killer's Guide to Marriage
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Samantha Snyder
- 02-11-25
Fun!
This was fun, a little more lighthearted than what I am used to as far as thrillers but I think that was the point. Great audiobook!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- David
- 02-19-25
Out of this world! I am speechless at how good this book was!
My new favorite author and by far the very best narrator I have encountered, and I have listed to offer 200 audiobooks!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 02-09-25
Worth every minute
Georgia Tennant kills it reading as Haze. No notes 🔪
Of course, Asia’s writing makes for a delicious story to sink your teeth into. Loved it!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- daogier
- 02-17-25
Awesome awesome awesome.
Completely great. So imaginative, fast paced, impossible to turn off, and I think Georgia’s narration is her best yet.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story4 out of 5 stars
- Khadjah Williams
- 02-02-25
A story of love and friendship
This was a very entertaining story. It kept me engaging while challenging me to look at the relationships in my own life. It had a good amount of humor and truth. Happy for Haze and Fox.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Regina
- 02-07-25
Amazing!
So good! I love hazel and her husband. Wish there was Marie books to come
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Melissa Ammons
- 02-27-25
Loved the Dark Humor
The book captured me from the start! The dark humor of Haze’s character drew me immediately. Such a great read.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Rebecca E. Coefield
- 01-18-25
This book is AMAZING!
First of all, the story, then the writing!! What a gift this author has. The narration was incredible, Haze and Fox were in the room with me. Bravo!!!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars
-
Story5 out of 5 stars
- Danelle
- 01-29-25
Just when you think you figured it out… you didn’t.
I loved this book! I enjoyed how it had a great story line but also had parts that made me laugh. The humor mixed in with the twists was “chefs kiss”.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story4 out of 5 stars
- jaedee
- 02-12-25
Voice actors were amazing.
Great story with outstanding voice actors. Kept me interested in continuing listening which meant I needed to find tasks that worked well with audio books.
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