How to Fight Presidents

Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country

By: Daniel O'Brien

Narrated by: Richard McGonagle

Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea.

As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence.

And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass.

Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome.

I accidentally learned things.

A brilliant presentation of what could have otherwise been a boring and tedious rehash of generic presidential biographical summaries. The context of a hypothetical presidential fight-club and the willingness to treat the subject matter without pretention, or undue irreverence, allows this simple idea to provide an entertaining overview of the American presidential lineage.

Precisely three too many dick jokes, however.

Omg...This book is better than coffee

Goddamn this book is good. I definitely am not insane enough to be president. The voice actor sounds like he was a former president. When he talks about really fucked up shit and gives the reaction the author clearly had, it's priceless. I want like 80 of these books.

Silly, vulgar, and awesome, like a President

If you're on the fence about this book, go watch the author's videos from cracked.com on the subject.Tthey are a great introduction to the style and content of the book.

You are going to lose...

Contained in this book is all the information you need to know how and why you're going to lose. The only gripe one might have with the knowledge provided is that it doesn't come with pictures. Its one thing to hear about Washington smiling ear to ear while bullets fly by his head and another to see it for yourself.

this book is hilarious and you should buy it. now.

best president fighting guide I've ever read

Both humorous and educational. The author has a brilliant writing style that comes across as conversational, which, given the subject, makes the book that much more enjoyable. filled with lots of interesting facts about the various men who have run this country. only downside I think is that it's almost too short (he stops at Reagan). Definitely worth the listen.