The Reappearing Act

Coming Out as Gay on a College Basketball Team Led by Born-Again Christians

By: Kate Fagan

Narrated by: Kate Udall

It’s hard enough coming out, but playing basketball for a nationally ranked school and trying to figure out your sexual identity in the closeted and paranoid world of big-time college sports - that’s a challenge.

Kate Fagan’s love for basketball and for her religious teammates at the University of Colorado was tested by the gut-wrenching realization that she could no longer ignore the feelings of otherness inside her. In trying to blend in, Kate had created a hilariously incongruous world for herself in Boulder. Her best friends were part of Colorado’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes, where they ran weekly Bible studies and attended an Evangelical Free Church. For nearly a year, Kate joined them and learned all she could about Christianity - even holding their hands as they prayed for others "living a sinful lifestyle". Each time the issue of homosexuality arose, she felt as if a neon sign appeared over her head, with a giant arrow pointed downward. During these prayer sessions, she would often keep her eyes open, looking around the circle at the closed eyelids of her friends, listening to the earnestness of their words.

Kate didn’t have a vocabulary for discussing who she really was and what she felt when she was younger; all she knew was that she had a secret. In The Reappearing Act, she brings the listener along for the ride as she slowly accepts her new reality and takes the first steps toward embracing her true self.

©2014 Kate Fagan (P)2014 Audible Inc.

Hits close to home

I thought I was picking up a fictional story but it turned out to be non-fiction. Kate put down in words the struggles so many of us have gone through but can’t or don’t feel comfortable talking about. A difficult read for me at times. I wish I could get some of my “praying for you” friends to read it to see what really goes on in our heads and how they sometimes make things so much worse when
they think they are doing what’s right.

Great book but ....

What made the experience of listening to The Reappearing Act the most enjoyable?

The narrator's voice is similar to the author's so that makes the story more personal and interesting.

Any additional comments?

At some point in the book, when the author is going to work as a summer intern on the Conan O'Brien show, the phrase " ... the 9/1 TOURIST attack ..." Not terrorist but tourist. Since I only have the audio version of the book, I can't tell if the book has the typo or the narrator misspoke. Either way, a pretty awful typo.

Eye Opening

This book is such an eye opening experience for me. I can’t count all the ways it has made me pause and reevaluate a thought or question I’ve had about my own life and journey to accept myself and my sexuality. For those on this journey, this book will give you a voice you didn’t know you needed. It will also make you question a few things you didn’t know you wanted answers to. It’s an amazing eye opening for those having a dilemma about their sexuality and may need help find a light at the end of a tunnel.

compelling

wow....heart wrenching story of the trials Kate faced....real insight into the mind of a 19 year old student athlete.....thanks for letting us in Kate.

Excellent story!

Beautiful, moving, impactful story! Kate’s story is relevant to anyone, no matter gender, sexual orientation, race. It’s just a really intriguing story. It’s about challenges and obstacles in life, friendships in allies, accepting oneself and overcoming those obstacles. Sad hopeful moving heartfelt.