This Is How It Always Is

A Novel

By: Laurie Frankel

Narrated by: Gabra Zackman

“Every once in a while, I discover a book that opens my eyes in a way I never expected. This Is How It Always Is by Laurie Frankel has done just that. It's a story about family: childhood, parenthood, and the sometimes-heartbreaking decisions that come with it. As a mother, this story absolutely tore at my heartstrings. I can’t wait for you to listen to it!" x Reese

This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them.

This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated.

This is how children change...and then change the world.

When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect.

But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl.

Rosie and Penn aren't panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes.

Laurie Frankel's This Is How It Always Is is an audiobook about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again; parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts; children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever.

©2017 Laurie Frankel (P)2017 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

2017, "Amazon.com Best Books of the Year", Long-listed

2018, "Reese's Book Club x Hello Sunshine", Long-listed

This is how it Lways is

An amazing book. I hated for it to end. She brought the reader into the story and made you a part of it too.

Very Timely Work

This book takes a really full look at a topic that we are just starting to tackle in American culture. I loved the characters and the fairy tale subplot. I really appreciated how the material was handled and felt like I was being educated while inspired. Good work. I recommend this book to anyone with kids or trans people in their families or communities. (So, everyone.)

Don’t’ hesitate read/listen to this book.

I loved everything about this book. The narrative was wonderful and the story was eye opening in a beautiful way. You’ll be glad you didn’t pass this story by. Guaranteed.

I loved the story, but the narration....not so much.

I loved this story so very much! I loved the story, topic, and most of the performance. Unfortunately, parts of the narration were very odd.

When the characters Penn & Rosie spoke to each other it sounded robotic, breathy, & creepy at times.

I know it is minor, but for me, it took away from the beautiful story of this family.

An extraordinary story

I so enjoyed this book. I felt intertwined with each character almost like family. Such an enlightening read. It is filled with love, fierce family devotion and support. It has made an impact on my thinking. Thank you...