Originally published as Why Talking To Strangers Is Actually Good For Your Wellbeing | Nick Epley

Embark on a journey of rediscovery as we revisit an episode that's sure to reignite your passion for meaningful connections. Join us as we delve into the timeless wisdom of Nick Epley, whose insights continue to resonate with listeners old and new.

Do you strike up a conversation with a stranger on a plane or while waiting in line? If you don’t already, you will after listening to Nick Epley in this episode. Nick talks through his extensive research about talking to people we encounter and how it actually boosts our wellbeing.

While many of us may default to surface-level exchanges, Nick challenges us to embrace the depths of genuine connection. But let's not forget the elephant in the room – initiating these conversations can be a daunting task. Fear not! Nick equips us with the tools to overcome our hesitations and dive headfirst into meaningful dialogue.

Nick Epley is the John Templeton Keller Professor of Behavior Science and Director of the Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. With his unparalleled expertise in social cognition, Nick sheds light on why understanding one another is often easier said than done. Nick wrote the book “Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want” and through its pages, Nick invites us to peer into the inner workings of the human mind.

As always, hosts Kurt and Tim end the show with a Grooving Session, distilling the essence of our conversation into actionable insights. But if there is just one thing you take away from this episode, dear listeners, is never hesitant to seize the opportunity to pay a compliment.

© 2024 Behavioral Grooves

[3:40] Welcome and speed round questions.

[4:57] Why it’s better to have a deep and meaningful conversation with a stranger?

[7:18] Why are we reluctant to talk to strangers about something meaningful?

[13:46] Why did Nick start studying undersociality?

[21:06] What happens when strangers talk on a train?

[29:33] How do you start a conversation with a stranger?

[33:20] The benefits of a compliment.

[39:21] Nick’s work in the future.

[43:35] The mind-blowing way to get someone else’s perspective?

[47:49] What music influences Nick.

[51:24] Grooving Session with Kurt and Tim discussing what we learned from Nick Epley.

© 2024 Behavioral Grooves

Nicholas Epley

“Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want” by Nick Epley

Gary Becker

Liz Dunn at University of British Columbia

Metallica “Master of Puppets”

David Tolk, piano player “Amazing Grace”

“All Creatures Great and Small” music

Could asking the right questions transform your conversations? That’s the question of the week for Kurt and Tim, as they delve into the power of inquiry and active listening with this week’s esteemed guest, author Jeff Wetzler. Jeff, the author of "Ask," shares groundbreaking research and surprising insights about the impact of asking the right questions, offering listeners a roadmap to navigate the complexities of communication with wit and wisdom.

From the boardroom to the dinner table, effective communication skills are essential. Discover how active listening can not only boost productivity and increase employee satisfaction but also foster deeper, more meaningful relationships. Through thought-provoking discussions and real-world examples, Kurt, Tim, and Jeff challenge conventional wisdom to help listeners gain a deeper understanding of how to engage authentically in both their professional and personal lives.

Ready to level up your communication game? Tune in to this episode for actionable insights and inspiration. Whether you’re a seasoned leader or simply a curious listener, get ready to embark on a journey of compassionate curiosity and active listening. Join the conversation and let us know what questions you have about this episode or Behavioral Grooves! We’d love to hear from you.

© 2024 Behavioral Grooves

[5:40] Introduction and Speed Round

[11:22] The “Ask Approach” and the power of curiosity

[18:00] Effective listening and learning from others

[26:06] Creating a safe space for open communication

[34:43] Using curiosity to interrupt certainty and gain new perspectives

[43:35] Vibe listening and interpreting conversations

[48:51] Desert Island music

[53:51] Grooving session - the importance of asking questions, active listening, and micro-expressions

© 2024 Behavioral Grooves

** Rankin, Paul T. “The Importance of Listening Ability.” The English Journal, vol. 17, no. 8, 1928, pp. 623–30. JSTOR, https://doi.org/10.2307/803100. Accessed 10 Apr. 2024.

Ask by Jeff Wetzler

More about Jeff

What is Active Listening?

Paul Simon - 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

Indigo Girls - Closer to Fine

Dave Carter and Tracey Grammer - When I Go

Ever find yourself coasting on autopilot a bit too often in your daily routine? Seeking ways to be more present and truly connect with your habits to enhance your life? Join Kurt and Tim on a profound exploration into the world of sense foraging and breaking free from autopilot habits.

In this enlightening episode, Kurt and Tim are joined by special guests Norman Farb and Zindel Segal, esteemed researchers in psychology and neuroscience, and co-authors of the insightful book "Better in Every Sense." Together, they delve into the transformative power of intentional sensory exploration, curiosity, and savoring to elevate everyday experiences. Dive into the complexities of modern life, including the challenges of stress, burnout, and dysregulation, while gaining valuable insights into understanding your ‘default mode’ and the pivotal role of the salience network in directing your focus to the present moment.

Discover actionable strategies for integrating sense foraging into your daily life, from relishing the flavor of your morning coffee to heightening your awareness of the sensations in your environment. In their grooving session, Kurt and Tim underscore the importance of breaking away from habitual routines and fostering mindfulness to improve decision-making and overall well-being. Whether you're seeking to shift your perspective or embark on a journey toward intentional living, this episode offers invaluable guidance to kickstart your transformation. Tune in now and take the first step toward finding your groove!

© 2024 Behavioral Grooves

[5:10] Intro and speed round

[7:30] Default mode - breaking out and toggling in

[11:56] House of Habit

[18:42] Perceptual inference and active inference

[23:53] How foraging leads to a better life

[29:26] Toggle in for engagement and break away from default mode

[39:12] Sensory engagement and learning

[44:33] Hearing vs. listening

[46:58] Desert island music

[53:44] Grooving session: habits, autopilot, and how to create your own groove moments

© 2024 Behavioral Grooves

Better in Every Sense: How the New Science of Sensation Can Help You Reclaim Your Life

Norman Farb

Zindel Segal

Default Mode Network (DMN)

Paying Attention to Senses Can Help Reset the Mind

The Rolling Stones “Winter”

Underworld “Born Slippy”

Cream “Sunshine of Your Love”

A Tribe Called Quest “Can I Kick It?”