Waking Up to Narcissism By cover art

Waking Up to Narcissism

By: Tony Overbay LMFT
Listen for free

  • Summary

  • "Waking Up to Narcissism" is a podcast hosted by Tony Overbay, LMFT, host of the award-winning Virtual Couch podcast, dedicated to helping individuals recognize and navigate narcissistic traits and tendencies in their relationships and within themselves. With a focus on emotional immaturity versus narcissism, Tony provides tools and guidance for personal growth and managing relationships with narcissistic or emotionally immature individuals, even if that individual is you!
    Copyright 2024 Waking Up to Narcissism
    Show more Show less
Episodes
  • Death By a Thousand Cuts VII - The Rise of the Emotionally Mature!

    Death By a Thousand Cuts VII - The Rise of the Emotionally Mature!
    Mar 20 2024
    In the 7th installment of the "Death by a Thousand Cuts" series, Tony Overbay, LMFT, presents a compelling crossover episode between The Virtual Couch and Waking Up to Narcissism. This episode delves into the complex journey of healing and empowerment for individuals who have survived relationships characterized by emotional immaturity, narcissism, and controlling behavior. Through a blend of personal narratives and expert analysis, Tony shares the nuanced and significant harm inflicted by the 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' phenomenon—a metaphor highlighting the cumulative effect of repeated emotional injuries from narcissistic and emotionally immature partners. Addressing key issues such as emotional abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, sexual abuse within the relationship, manipulation, boundaries vs. ultimatums, and the critical need for self-validation, Tony provides listeners with practical coping strategies. These strategies underscore the importance of self-reflection, seeking professional guidance, and engaging with supportive communities as vital steps in shedding the lingering effects of controlling relationships. This episode aims to reassure listeners that they are not isolated in their experiences of unhealthy relationships. It also serves as a resource for those seeking to support family members entangled in abusive dynamics, offering insight into effective ways to provide meaningful support beyond mere words of encouragement. Tony seeks to empower listeners to recognize their inherent worth and foster healthy, mature connections by advocating for relationships grounded in respect and empathy. 00:00 Welcome to the Crossover Episode: Unpacking Narcissism and Emotional Immaturity 00:37 Why Today's Episode Matters: Exploring 'Death by a Thousand Cuts' 01:58 Moving Week and Virtual Client Opportunities 03:58 Understanding Emotional Cuts and Their Impact 05:58 The Challenge of Seeking Validation and Understanding 09:24 Creating Supportive Spaces for Emotional Growth 12:36 Diving into Real-Life Stories of Emotional Immaturity 23:49 The Frustrating Dynamics of Emotional Immaturity in Relationships 33:57 Navigating the Complexities of Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism 34:54 The Emotional Toll of Unvalidated Feelings 36:07 Navigating Emotional Safety in Relationships 36:19 The Subtle Manipulations of Emotional Abuse 37:00 Parenting Amidst Emotional Manipulation 38:29 Understanding the Impact of Emotional Abuse Through Stories 46:33 The Role of Pornography in Emotionally Immature Relationships 01:00:43 Financial Control and Emotional Abuse 01:07:45 Finding Healing and Empowerment
    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 15 mins
  • Part 2 - From Grandiose to Vulnerable With a Touch of Emotional Immaturity - Exploring Attachment Styles

    Part 2 - From Grandiose to Vulnerable With a Touch of Emotional Immaturity - Exploring Attachment Styles
    Mar 11 2024
    Part 2 of Tony’s dive into how narcissism and emotional immaturity contribute to the different attachment styles that we show up with in adulthood. Continuing to read from the article “Narcissistic Personality and Attachment,” https://www.attachmentproject.com/psychology/narcissistic-personality/ Tony delves into the significance of secure attachment and its impact on children's development and adult relationships. The discussion begins with a nostalgic look at the importance of having a supportive figure during childhood, highlighting how a 'superhero' figure can influence one's ability to trust and form healthy relationships. The conversation then transitions into how those without secure attachments in childhood might struggle with narcissistic traits or emotional immaturity in adulthood. Tony explores different attachment styles, including avoidant, anxious, and disorganized, and their connection to narcissistic behaviors and traits. By emphasizing the role of self-reflection, understanding intrinsic values, and committed action through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Tony offers a pathway toward overcoming challenges related to emotional immaturity and narcissism. The episode is a comprehensive look at how early attachment styles contribute to adult relationship dynamics, with insights on possible paths for healing and growth. 00:00 Introduction to the Episode 00:09 The Concept of a Superhero in Childhood 02:06 The Importance of Secure Attachment 02:36 The Role of Parents in Providing Secure Attachment 03:28 The Impact of Secure Attachment in Adult Relationships 05:08 The Power of Vulnerability in Relationships 05:53 Understanding Different Attachment Styles 08:33 The Journey of Emotional Growth and Awakening 15:51 The Connection Between Narcissism and Attachment Styles 16:29 The Impact of Overindulgence and Authoritarian Parenting on Narcissism 23:31 The Role of Abuse in the Development of Narcissism 29:39 The Complex Relationship Between Narcissism and Attachment Styles 30:45 Understanding Anxious Attachment and Vulnerable Narcissism 31:14 Real-Life Example: Jamie's Case 32:31 Disorganized Attachment Style and Vulnerable Narcissism 32:52 The Role of Approval Seeking and Fear in Narcissism 33:23 Exploring Treatment Approaches for Narcissism 33:43 Disorganized Attachment and Vulnerable Narcissism: Common Ground and Differences 36:26 Case Study: Jordan and Casey 38:23 Avoidant Attachment Style and the Grandiose Narcissist 39:49 Similarities and Differences between Avoidant Attachment and Grandiose Narcissism 50:52 Treatment Approaches for Narcissism and Emotional Maturity 52:22 Wrapping Up: The Complexities of Narcissism and Attachment Styles Available NOW Tony's "Magnetic Marriage Mini-Course" only $25. https://magneticmarriage.mykajabi.com/magnetic-marriage-mini-course Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
    Show more Show less
    1 hr and 3 mins
  • Transforming or Transgressing? The Thin Line Between Emotional Growth and Weaponization

    Transforming or Transgressing? The Thin Line Between Emotional Growth and Weaponization
    Mar 3 2024
    Tony Overbay, LMFT, discusses the misuse of self-help and philosophical principles by the narcissist and the emotionally immature. Tony uses Stoicism and the teachings of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and Seneca as a backdrop to show how seemingly safe topics like self-care, hobbies, and reasons to focus on the here and now can be weaponized and used as manipulation tactics by the emotionally immature and those who exhibit strong narcissistic traits and tendencies. Tony also provides examples of addressing these misinterpretations and outlines the importance of personal growth, self-reflection, and accepting one's imperfections to achieve a healthier mindset and better relationships. 00:00 Introduction and Welcome 00:20 The Importance of Newsletters and Updates 00:39 Exploring Narcissistic Traits and Self-Help Books 01:42 The Power of Self-Reflection and Emotional Maturity 02:48 The Misuse of Self-Help Tools and Philosophies 03:24 The Dangers of Misinterpreting Therapeutic Advice 04:24 Exploring the Interactions of Narcissistic Traits with Philosophies 04:36 The Role of Stoicism in Self-Improvement 05:04 The Fine Line Between Self-Improvement and Weaponizing Teachings 06:15 The Power of Self-Confrontation and Growth 07:57 The Concept of Muse in Personal Growth 08:26 The Importance of Listening and Self-Improvement 14:15 The Role of Stoicism in Personal Growth 25:13 Embracing Imperfections and Learning from Mistakes 26:02 The Story of Epictetus and His Teachings 27:23 Applying Stoic Philosophy in Real Life: Chris and Morgan's Dance Lessons 28:48 The Dangers of Weaponizing Stoic Philosophy 31:16 The Wisdom of Marcus Aurelius and Letting Go of Unnecessary Opinions 39:35 Applying Marcus Aurelius' Advice in Relationships: Jordan and Alex's Story 41:58 Understanding and Navigating Emotional Immaturity and Narcissism 44:55 Final Thoughts and Encouragement for Personal Growth Find all the latest links to podcasts, courses, Tony's newsletter, and more at https://linktr.ee/virtualcouch And follow Tony on the Virtual Couch YouTube channel for a sneak preview of his upcoming podcast "Murder on the Couch," where True Crime meets therapy, co-hosted with his daughter Sydney. You can watch a pre-release clip here https://youtu.be/-RkRq8SrQy0 Subscribe to Tony's latest podcast, "Waking Up to Narcissism Q&A - Premium Podcast," on the Apple Podcast App. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/waking-up-to-narcissism-q-a/id1667287384 Go to http://tonyoverbay.com/workshop to sign up for Tony's "Magnetize Your Marriage" virtual workshop. The cost is only $19, and you'll learn the top 3 things you can do NOW to create a Magnetic Marriage. You can learn more about Tony's pornography recovery program, The Path Back, by visiting http://pathbackrecovery.com And visit http://tonyoverbay.com and sign up to receive updates on upcoming programs and podcasts. Tony mentioned a product that he used to take out all of the "uh's" and "um's" that, in his words, "must be created by wizards and magic!" because it's that good! To learn more about Descript, click here https://descript.com?lmref=bSWcEQ
    Show more Show less
    46 mins
Psychology Hygiene & Healthy Living Personal Success
Show more Show less

What listeners say about Waking Up to Narcissism

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    10
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    9
  • 4 Stars
    0
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    8
  • 4 Stars
    1
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Audible.com reviews

Amazon reviews
Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for B Coffey

Eye opening & Strengthening!

So many epiphanies here, giving me the tools to deal with him!! I am a LMSW and I never thought I’d be in a relationship like this. It’s so eye opening thank you so much for sharing.

Report this

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Lori

Life changing

Tony has such a way about educating us all about narcissistic personality disorder & emotional immaturity. He’s a gem!

Report this

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Amazon Customer

clarity...

so helpful listening in on others storys. if I can get validation for what I've been thru, it helps fill a little of that void so I can move forward after being in two long narcissistic relationships over the last 18yrs..

Report this

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for KingBenG

I'm a man, this is extremely helpful

My wife and I have been struggling for awhile. There was a lot of hurt between us both. She asked me to listen to this podcast. Holy cow I had no idea how many of my own problems I had with myself because I didn't know the symptoms and the words to have it all make sense. Tony is incredible and helpful in putting it in a way everyone can understand. I listen to the Virtual Couch now too which is extremely helpful for my own self worth and positive thinking.

Report this

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
Profile Image for Greg Talbot

Thank You~

Life Changing. Encouraging. Clear.
One of my Favorite things about Tony is: He speaks clear and calm!
Many great folks trying to share on this topic often share in a way that is "very passionate" I have found that people sharing in an URGENT way are very triggering to me. So much surrounding this topic is already scary and you feel so unsure of your self as you even explore whether this may finally be what is so wrong in your relationship. I'm very sensitive to the urgency and voice tones used.
Tony you are a true treasure, thank you for letting your light shine, and in doing so helping so many others start to let theirs shine as well.

Report this

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!