If you've ever felt trapped in a cycle of I should be past this and using your intellectual smarts as evil tools to hammer yourself with, this episode is for you.

On paper, you’ve got it together— isn’t it time you felt like it? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, PRESENCE with your family or breaking generational cycles of Self-Criticism, Perfectionism Optimized private 1-1 coaching is how you expand your confidence, make your choices aligned with your values and *finally feel* as amazing as your life looks. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Sneaky Peek at What You'll Learn In This Episode:

• Unconscious Competence: Understanding embodied knowledge vs mental masturbation
• How telling yourself "I should know this" is the cowardly response (and what the courageous one is)
• Why knowing something intellectually doesn't translate to action

Fighting against yourself IS playing life on torture mode AND entirely OPTIONAL. Most solutions for overcoming perfectionism suck. They're not empowering, efficient or any FUN, plus research shows Overcoming Perfectionism simply *doesn’t work*when you are driven, ambitious, caring, high-performer. That’s WHY I’m revealing how you can take your frustrating perfectionistic tendencies—like catastrophizing, people-pleasing and overthinking— and remix them with refreshingly practical perspectives from our neurodiversity neighbor, ADHD.

Want to feel as incredible on the inside as your life looks on the outside? Then you gotta check out Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE for driven, ambitious, Type-A high performers with perfectionistic tendencies. Inquire today over at: https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

Perfectionism Rewired podcast is brought to you by America's leader on rewiring perfectionism, Courtney Love Gavin (CLG) and is committed to neuroscience truth + accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens.

WTF does Perfectionist Affirming mean? Perfectionist affirming is an empowered view where perfectionistic tendencies are not seen as deficits to be “fixed” - no victims, powerlessness or fighting against. Instead your perfectionism is leveraged to work for you. Part of neurodiversity movement that sees humans as uniquely wired individuals who all experience the world differently.

Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429. https://doi.org/10.1037/bul0000138

Daniilidou, A. (2023). Understanding the relationship between the multidimensional perfectionism and self-compassion in adults: The effect of age. Europe’s Journal of Psychology, 19(4), 371–386. https://doi.org/10.5964/ejop.11981

Otsuka T. (2023). ADHD For Smart Ass Women (1st ed.). William Morrow

Feel like Perfectionism is controlling you? That you’re at the mercy of your perfectionist tendencies? Or that life would be easier if you weren’t such a perfectionist? Perfectionism is not a choice. But you can choose how you want to navigate through it, and that choice is powerful. Discover how the greats Dolly Parton, Serena Williams, Kobe Bryant, Sara Blakely, Marie Kondo have leveraged their perfectionism to shine. Through scientific research and personal experiences, you'll discover step-by-step how it's possible to rewire your perfectionistic habits from the inside out, just like CLG did.

Rewire the right way (not the hype way) inside Perfectionism Optimized, the only 1-1 private coaching backed by SCIENCE + exclusively designed for driven, ambitious + type-A high achievers with perfectionistic tendencies who want to feel as incredible on the inside as their life looks on the outside. Melt your stress away starting today over at: https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized

00:00-Understanding Learned Helplessness Embedded In Perfectionism Recovery

01:28-Challenging Lies About Perfectionists with Science

02:16-Celebrating Famous Perfectionists Behind World-Changing Innovation

03:55-WTF Are Enduring Identity Markers + Why Do They Matter?

05:12-Unlearning Learned Helplessness with Dr. Martin Seligman (Godfather of Positive Psychology)

06:11-The Problem With Blaming Perfectionism

07:03-Flipping Helplessness to Empowerment

08:46-Rediscovering Being In Charge and Response-ability

10:12-Helplessness + Feeling Out of Control Re: Childhood Conditioning

11:58-Reframing Perfectionism as an Empowerment Journey

13:20-How To Quit Fighting Against Your Perfectionism + Work WITH It

15:05-What incest + perfectionism recovery have in common

16:40-Getting Your Perfectionism Right

17:25-Quality Questions To Snuff Out Helplessness

Abramson, L. Y., Seligman, M. E., & Teasdale, J. D. (1978). Learned helplessness in humans: Critique and reformulation. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 87(1), 49–74. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.87.1.49

Quchani, M. (2023). The mediating role of coping styles in the association between perfectionism and learned helplessness in students’ population. Annales Médico-Psychologiques, 181(7), 619–627. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.amp.2022.07.010

Woodfin, V., Binder, P. E., & Molde, H. (2020). The Psychometric Properties of the Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale–Brief. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 1860.