On this episode of the Lessons Learned for Vets podcast, we welcome Brenda Mariah. If you are having trouble getting others to see your value or recognizing your own value, this is where Brenda shines. Brenda Mariah, of Push Career Management, is a career-focused speaker, wordsmith, storyteller, encourager, author and strategist. She is the president of the National Resume Writers Association, the past president of the Resume Writers and Career Coaches Association and is certified in interview coaching, compensation negotiation, job search strategy, resume writing, career management, LinkedIn profile development and employment law. Major brands rely on Brenda to provide corporate outplacement services during layoffs and her prior engineering and project management background qualifies her to help even the most technical professionals.

While a resume’s job is to help you land an interview, the interview is an opportunity for both you and the employer to find out if your skills and personality are a good fit for the organization. During the interview, the employer is looking for the most cost-effective employee, the person who is going to add the most value and bring the most return on investment. This doesn’t necessarily mean the employer will always look for the person they can hire for the least amount of money. Employers are asking themselves questions like “Can you do the job?”, “Will you do the job?”, “Are you a good fit?”

It's important to bring your personality to the interview. While an interview should be taken seriously, don’t forget to smile, make eye contact and engage with the employer. While the resume is fact-based, an interview is more emotion-based. Be confident with who you are and don’t pretend to be something you’re not.

As the interviewee, you have more control over the situation than you might think. According to data, about 40% of your interview success is based on your packaging such as nonverbal communication and appearance. Another 40% is your responsiveness to the questions. 10% of your success is based on your qualifications.

Brenda breaks down the interview process into 5 stages. Stage 1 is Making an Entrance. When you enter an interview with confidence, you appear competent. If your interview is virtual, make sure you understand the platform being used. If you are not familiar with certain software, like Teams or Webex, find a demo video online and learn how to navigate the platform. Make sure the position of your camera highlights your face and be aware of what is in your background. Experiment with lighting to ensure shadows are not covering your face.

Stage 2 is Questions They Ask You. During your interview preparation, be able to answer why you want to work for them and why they should pick you. Research the company by looking at their website and social media channels. Review your resume and begin to formulate stories to back up your accomplishments. Use the STAR method to ensure you are giving the backstory, the actions you took and what you achieved.

Connect with Brenda at https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachbrendamariah/

Explore Push Management Career’s Interview Training Program at https://www.pushcareermanagement.com/interview-coaching

AAFMA, the American Armed Forces Mutual Aid Association is the longest-standing nonprofit association offering life insurance, wealth management, mortgages, survivor assistance and more.

AAFMA is dedicated to helping servicemembers be ready for life after the military. AAFMAA would like to offer you their free Transition Timeline, a guide to help you create a solid military transition plan. Let AAFMAA help you get ready for your next step by visiting www.aafmaa.com/ll4v.

We continue our discussion with Mary Polanco on Part 2 of this 2-part series. On the previous episode, Mary discusses the importance of taking time for yourself during the military transition process and the reality that separating from the military may cause grief. During this episode, we dissect content from her newly published book, Your Final Debrief, and dive deeper into healthy ways to deal with complex emotions that may arise before, during and after the military transition.

Mary believes that questioning your feelings is an important step to understanding the root cause. If you find yourself feeling a certain way, ask yourself where the feeling is coming from and consider the meaning behind the feeling. This type of analytical thinking will help you acknowledge and accept the feeling and move on.

Life is full of transitions - whether it’s relational or job related. It’s important to constantly reflect on where you are, where you’ve been and how you envision your future. Reflection will bring up feelings, and for many people it’s easier to suppress those feelings instead of working through them. As we work through feelings, it’s hard to know in the beginning what is really underneath the emotions. Mary attributes therapy, reading, journaling and meditating to helping her work through suppressed feelings from her Air Force career. These healthy actions create space for things to come up, so you can address them and move forward.

Leaving the military is a choice for some, but for others it’s forced. Some service members get med boarded while others may fail to get promoted. Either way, the last day in uniform can be emotionally charged. For Mary, she was unprepared for the feelings that occurred on her first full day of retirement. She realized she was alone in her decisions. She no longer had someone telling her where to be and what to do. It’s okay to be both sad about your military career being over and excited about your future.

Mary encourages service members to separate their identity with their service. If you are struggling with this, pull out a piece of paper and write down the question, “Who am I?” For you to separate your service from your identity, you have to have an identity to fall back on – which is the real you! For those serving in the military, it’s too easy to put “you” on the back burner. You need to dedicate time to the discovery process of finding out what has been dormant for so long. In her book, Mary suggests 9 questions that could help you rediscover yourself including What brings you peace? What would you do with your time if you had no worries? What is your legacy?

Your Final Debrief is a guide that shows you how to invest in yourself. The military will roll on without you. So start preparing for your next chapter.

Connect with Mary at https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-polanco-mssl-32a1a5176/

Explore Your Final Debrief at https://www.amazon.com/Your-Final-Debrief-Military-Post-Service/dp/B0CN69TVWZ

Download the AAFMAA transition timeline at https://aafmaa.com/ll4v

AAFMA, the American Armed Forces Mutual Aid Association is the longest-standing nonprofit association offering life insurance, wealth management, mortgages, survivor assistance and more.

AAFMA is dedicated to helping servicemembers be ready for life after the military. AAFMAA would like to offer you their free Transition Timeline, a guide to help you create a solid military transition plan. Let AAFMAA help you get ready for your next step by visiting www.aafmaa.com/ll4v.

After serving 23 years in the US Air Force, Mary Polanco retired from the Air Force. She is the founder and CEO of Live and Lead Well and the author of Your Final Debrief, which she describes as a must-read guide to learning how to break free from the military mindset and craft the post service life you truly desire. During Season 3, episode 128, we talked with Mary about her transition. This episode focuses on content from her newly published book.

Mary retired earlier than planned, at the peak of her military career. To those on the outside, it came as a shock. However, Mary had prepared for her transition and done the hard work of self-discovery before submitting her retirement papers. Her hope is Your Final Debrief will resonate with transitioning service members and validate the complex emotions that often accompany military separation or retirement.

The first chapter is titled Thank You for Your Service. If you’ve served in the military, you know that this sentiment can often be uncomfortable. Mary believes it’s important for service members to acknowledge their service and the sacrifices they made while wearing the uniform. One of the sacrifices that Mary focuses on is the idea that military service may hinder a person’s identity.

Have you ever heard someone refer to someone else as ROAD? It stands for retired on active duty. It’s a term used to describe someone that is choosing to focus on themself rather than working 24/7 until their last day for the military. This term has a negative connotation in the military. Mary addresses this and why it’s so important to take time for yourself before separating or retiring from the military. For those serving in leadership roles, the military has convinced you that the mission will fail without you, right? The truth is the military will go on without you. You are replaceable. It can feel wrong to put yourself before the needs of others, especially if you have a servitude attitude. Know that you will never be able to convince those still in uniform the magnitude of transitioning. It’s not your job – your job is to prepare yourself for the next chapter of your life.

In Mary’s book, she compares her service to a marriage and her retirement to a divorce. She experienced the 5 stages of grief during her transition. Mary believes the first enlistment is the courtship phase. During this time, you are questioning whether to leave or stay for the long haul. For those that choose to reenlist, a commitment is made and there are expectations of your service. The 5 stages of grief are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Grief occurs over a loss – whether it’s a person, pet or job. Mary experienced all of these as she grappled with the idea of retirement.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel at https://tinyurl.com/llforvets22

Connect with Mary at https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-polanco-mssl-32a1a5176/

Explore Your Final Debrief at https://www.amazon.com/Your-Final-Debrief-Military-Post-Service/dp/B0CN69TVWZ

AAFMA, the American Armed Forces Mutual Aid Association is the longest-standing nonprofit association offering life insurance, wealth management, mortgages, survivor assistance and more.

AAFMA is dedicated to helping servicemembers be ready for life after the military. AAFMAA would like to offer you their free Transition Timeline, a guide to help you create a solid military transition plan. Let AAFMAA help you get ready for your next step by visiting www.aafmaa.com/ll4v.