Kevin Peterson is an expert in the correlation of substance abuse and child abuse. In this podcast, Kevin talks about the steps and shares, "The 12th step is 'carry the message'!"

His childhood was overshadowed by his mom's hidden prescription drug abuse, and they, as children, were taught to lie to cover for her.

By the age of 13, he himself was drinking and using drugs, and he liked it. At the age of 26, his father told him they loved him but were done. His parents were making a change, and that meant, he was out.

On May 5, 1991, he got sober and has been ever since. In 2007, he had a midlife crisis, got out of sales and decided he wanted to change the world.

He graduated college in 2011 and started his own practice where he works with families who are struggling with addiction. And that, involves kids - direct and overtly or indirect and covertly.

In his work, he helps people once they are sober and need to deal with the "stuff".

Takeaways from this podcast:

• It is not our job to be perfect; it is our job to own our imperfections and model healing, growth and a willingness to improve.
• Showing children how to take responsibility for your behavior and actions, how to take care of yourself and how to acknowledge when you’ve made a mistake.
• Being perfect is a waste of time; they’re watching you. If they’re watching you get high all day, they’re going to get high all day.
• Starts with consistency, level of expectation how to treat each other. Everyone has a voice. Kids need a witness, they need someone there.
• Your kid really just wants to hang out with you.

Kevin has authored the book, "Chronic Hope: Families and Addiction"

Resources: www.chronichope.us

In this episode, Lori Poland is joined by Alli Meyerhardt, the founder and executive director of Breaking Silence, a national organization designed to give a voice to survivors of abuse. As a survivor herself, Alli knew that the story many had to share would pave the way to ending sexual assault and domestic violence. She followed this vision and began a nonprofit that focuses on teaching people about the consequences of sexual assault, ways in which they can prevent it, and the realities of consent.

The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org

Takeaways:

We need to believe in the power of people’s stories and to teach people to accept those stories and create safe spaces.

Stories need to be felt with love and kindness rather than saying, “we don’t talk about it.”

“I believe you, I hear you, I am so sorry that happened to you,” should be the response to anyone who shares their story.

Everyone needs to humanize people’s stories and learn to feel it.

The goal of Breaking Silence and the work they do is to create a world full of advocates.

The definition of "safe" is different for every person. We need to be protectors of all.

It is not easy to get someone curious when they don’t want to talk about “it.”

It is not always your responsibility to change someone else’s mind, but compassionate listening is necessary.

If you are open to hearing, then go and listen. Become a learner. There is someone in your life who has been impacted by violence.


Quote of the Show:

“A universal truth is we all feel pain. We are all human.”


Links:
Breaking Silence - www.breakingsilence.org

In this episode, Lori Poland is once again joined by fellow survivor, Jon Vaughn. To change things up, Jon interviews Lori about her experiences as a survivor.

The Louder than Silence podcast is brought to you by the National Foundation to End Child Abuse and Neglect (EndCAN): www.endcan.org

Episode Takeaways:

• What made Lori write her book? “When we are survivors, there is a developmental process, and my sentences became paragraphs, and then a book. It is one of the faces of survivorship – we start as a victim, then move out of that phase and transition into survivorship and then into being a thriver and then when you’re through finding ‘your own’, you transition to transcender.”
• The title is, “I Live Here” which details her life story, starting with her kidnapping at the age of 3. When she was found by rescuers at the bottom of an outhouse toilet, she told them, "I live here."
• Children do not know what normal is, so what they are experiencing may seem normal to them without realizing it is abuse.
• The narrative of her story was only what she had been told by family, and it was their story, not her's. Every time she was interviewed publicly, they accused her making parts of the story up and the more this happened, the more she did research and saw details that she was not aware of. Their narrative and her experience were not the same.
• The history of books is “his” story in everyone’s own perspective. And, you have to own your perspective and truth and defend it.
• It’s okay to not have a family in the way most people envision. You’re going to have family that will never leave because they are touched by your story.
• Always take time for yourself; wounds don’t heal in a day.
• We have to be able to say no, to society, to parents, to abusers, to anyone trying to hurt you.

Quotes of the Show:

• "Transcenders are people who turn around and give it back. "
• "Don’t be concerned about people talking, be concerned when they aren’t."

Links:
Lori's book, "I Live Here" - https://endcan.org/2022/07/11/lori-poland-memoir/