Peace Pursuits!! It's the Season Finale!! Can you believe we're already at the end of 2022?! The end of the year always brings a time of reflection and a hope for the future.  In this episode, I share my top 5 takeaways from my Transformation Year along with some practical tips to implement into your life.  Additionally, I provide a preview of my intention for 2022. 

Transformation Year Takeaways:
- Obedience Is Better Than Sacrifice
- The Power of Setting Your Intention For the Year
- Pause Before The Pivot
- Don't Minimize Your Impact
- Enlist the Elite In Your Vision

Key Quotables/Takeaways:
"Your obedience will likely cause you to sacrifice something, but it shouldn't cause you to compromise." - Patrice Grimes

"Things that are worth it, take work." - Patrice Grimes

"I needed to transform these areas of my life so they didn't transfer into my relationships, my body, or my finances." - Patrice Grimes

"When you change on the inside, it shows up on the outside." - Patrice Grimes

"There is an element of having to die to yourself, dying to the old version of you, dying to old patterns, dying to antiqued belief systems.  You have to die to those things in order reincarnate as a better version of yourself." - Patrice Grimes

"Sometimes we're entirely too busy that we don't even take the time to sit in the chaos.  We don't process the pain and that's what breeds trauma responses instead of triumph responses." - Patrice Grimes

"What is it costing you when you're pivoting so quickly?" - Patrice Grimes

"We'll try to manufacture new relationships because we don't have access to someone else and it ends up causing us more pain than the initial chaotic event that disrupted our life." - Patrice Grimes

"Am I doing this for people or am I doing this for purpose?" - Patrice Grimes

"We have to get in tune with ourselves so we can ensure we're making decisions out of peace instead of pain." - Patrice Grimes

"If i'm not creating impact, then i'm living in vain." - Patrice Grimes

"You have to do an inventory of impact." - Patrice Grimes

"Not everyone is equipped to be enlisted in your vision." - Patrice Grimes

"Sometimes, people will fail to stabilize your vision, because they aren't secured in theirs." - Patrice Grimes

"Balance is not something that breeds continuity or transformation in the long run. It actually breeds burnout." - Patrice Grimes

57:05 "Limit portions of the vision you share only with people that have the capacity to see it and visualize it with you." - Patrice Grimes

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LINKS:
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I think we've all had some unpleasant r/s experiences.  What's even MORE challenging to embrace a healthy relationship or even know the first steps to transition into one if you've  had one, or even numerous, toxic relationships in the past.  We all want healthy, reciprocal relationships, but don't quite know how to achieve it...until now :)

This episode, I'm joined by 12 year marriage vets, Ralph & Daa'Iyah Plaskett, where they share their initial dating process and the different approach both of them had to take in order to transition into a committed, healthy, and happy relationship for both of them.  We also discussed:
- Doing the Work to Show Up As Your Authentic Self
- Analyzing Historical Dating Patterns
- The Mindset Shift Required For Commitment
- Identifying You and Your Partner's Communication Style
- The Tug of War Between Triggers vs. Actuality,
- The Importance of Identifying Green Flags

Key Quotes
"I made the commitment that i was going to be open, honest and answer all of the questions regardless of where this thing [relationship] might go." - Ralph 

"I didn't send a representative during our first date.  I showed up on the first date so you know what you're dealing with." - Daa'Iyah

"Part of it [the dating process] is learning how to trust yourself again." - Patrice 

"I got to know myself which gave me the strength to be able to speak up for myself." - Daa'Iyah 

 "I was committed to making a relationship work. I was committed to working on the relationship understanding no relationship is easy or perfect or anything. But I was committed to say i'm going to put in the work."- Ralph

"It's a vulnerable position; it says I have to be willing to talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly in order to be committed towards a relationship." - Ralph

"You have to have the hard conversations.  We have the hard conversations, even when we don't feel like it." - Daa'Iyah

"You can reconcile by understanding this person is not here to harm me, they're not here to intentional hurt me so a little bit of time could help to dissect the situation." - Patrice

"You don't fight fair when you're mad." - Daa'Iyah

"We might have conversations that are tough. But those are intended for growth as a couple.  Those are intended for bettering the relationship.  Those are not intended to intentionally open wounds." - Ralph

"A lot of times in relationships, we only identify the red flags. We rarely identify the green flags. The ones that say 'Go! This is great. This is healthy. It's safe to keep proceeding. It's safe to let down the walls. It's safe to be loved by this person." - Patrice

"One of the factors of transitioning to a healthy relationship is being open and ready. Ready to receive the potential of a good relationship." - Patrice

Rapid Value Questions
What is one thing you like to do to sustain or reset your peace?
- Travel / Spending time together

Name one book or song that's helped you to define peace?
- Never Too Much by Luther Vandross 

How do you define peace for yourself now?
- Not entering situations or relationships that cause me stress or anxiety. Being secure in whatever I enter into/When I feel loved, unconditional love.

Fill In the Blank:
My name is Daa'Iyah, and without peace, I'd probably be crazy; but with peace, I have joy.
My name is Ralph, and without peace, I'd probably be wilding out; but with peace, I am centered. - Ralph

LINKS
Engage with Patrice/Inquiries/Booking
https://sociatap.com/ThePeaceCurator/

As the holidays are approaching, we realize that not every person is close to their family so it can be particularly difficult to be in the "holiday spirit" when the only thing holidays represent are what they don't have or what they previously had, but has now lost.  Family Estrangement and Fragmented Families are a topic that rarely is discussed, but affects all social classes, genders, race, etc. 

In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Mariam Ernest, where she discusses the how Family Estrangement can be intergenerational and as parents, if we aren't being careful, we could be potentially creating a pattern for future family estrangement within our children. We also discussed:
- The Emotional and Pyschological Effects of Voluntary and Involuntary Estrangement
- The Commonalities of Estrangement in Women
- How Estrangement Affects Other Relationships
- Steps to Identify Peace in Fragmented Families

Key Quotes/Takeaways

"Family estrangement knows no class, knows no race, knows no economic status, nothing.  It cuts across everything." - Mariam Ernest

"I think there's something about us human beings when we perceive that we've been rejected. It literally does something to our brain. It alters our perception in how we view, how we think about ourself and other people. It literally changes into who we're letting into our life." - Mariam Ernest

"This group [family estrangement] is fighting against a narrative which is the narrative of a happy family." - Mariam Ernest

"If you don't come back to yourself, now you're gonna be judging everyone from the lens of the trespass that you've endured. Everyone is going to become the victim of what that person did. - Mariam Ernest

"If you don't change the pattern, you stay in anger and bitterness. Neither of which add any transformational value." - Mariam Ernest

"If you don't deal with them [patterns of anger and bitterness], if you don't pass them back, you pass them on." - Mariam Ernest

"A lot of times when the peace is disrupted, it's a direct reflection of your identity and how you're viewing yourself." - Patrice Grimes

"You're bracing yourself of what's to come, but you also rob yourself of the present moment." - Patrice Grimes

"We grow with the uncomfortableness.  We never really grow by denying other people's truth, even ourselves. - Mariam Ernest

Rapid Value Questions

What's one thing you like to do to sustain or reset your peace?
- Meditate and exercise

Name one book or song that's helped you to define peace?
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

How do you define peace for yourself now?
-Harmonious relationships with myself and with others.

Fill In the Blank:
- My name is Mariam and without peace, i'm more likely to retreat, more likely to disconnect, more likely to internalize things I shouldn't, but with peace, I'm more resilient.

LINKS:
Engage with Patrice/Inquiries/Booking
https://sociatap.com/ThePeaceCurator/

Engage with Mariam:
IG: RecoveryFromFragmentedFamilies
Forgiveness Journal by Mariam Ernest