A Practical Guide to Conquering the World

The Siege, Book 3

By: K. J. Parker

Narrated by: Ray Sawyer

This is the true story of Aemilius Felix Boioannes the younger, the intended and unintended consequence of his life, the bad stuff he did on purpose, and the good stuff that happened in spite of him.

It is, in other words, the tale of a war to end all wars and the man responsible.

A Practical Guide to Conquering the World can be read by itself, but for those who like endings, it can also be considered the refreshingly pragmatic conclusion to K. J. Parker's acclaimed sequence of novels that began with Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City and continued with How To Rule An Empire And Get Away With It


Praise for K. J Parker:

'Readers are ensured a good time and a barrel of laughs to boot' Publishers Weekly on How to Rule an Empire and Get Away With It

'Parker's latest epic fantasy proves that all the world is, indeed, a stage, and Parker himself is a master impresario. Readers will enjoy his comedic take on how politics are comprised of equal parts lies, incompetence, and the foolishness of humanity-with just enough flashes of brilliance to save the day. Recommended for fans of Terry Pratchett' Library Journal on How to Rule an Empire and Get Away With It

'Full of invention and ingenuity . . . Great fun' SFX on Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City

'Launches a witty adventure series . . . Readers will appreciate the infusion of humor and fun-loving characters into this vivid and sometimes grim fantasy world' Publishers Weekly on Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City©2021 One Reluctant Lemming Co Ltd.

Holt strikes again

Why does he go by two names? Who knows. However you call him just make sure the words literary and genius make it into the same sentence. Can’t wait for the next one (or for audible to add the rest of Tom’s back catalogue. Seriously what’s up with that?)

A great story

When it comes to K.J. Parker's writing, I'm not a fan. I'm a believer. Sure, not everything he writes is excellent, and sometimes he reuses the same plot points to write a story. Still, I always have a great time reading Parker's books. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is no exception. I loved it - it made me laugh and appreciate a cynical but insightful view of the world.

This time we follow Felix, a member of the Robur race, who works as a translator for the Echmen empire. He enjoys books and peaceful life. But alas, Parker has other plans for him. When armies wipe out the Robur race, Felix joins the Hus' ambassador, who owes him for saving the life of his princess. Unfortunately, shortly after, the Echmen kill the Hus king and enslave his people. Felix decides to save a group of people he doesn't actually like. Not an easy task - he must unite the Hus with their enemy, the Dejauzi, and find a way to defeat the Echmen empire. How you may ask? Well, inventing a religion and becoming a prophet is a good start.

Felix's bold plans and cynical view of the world are always entertaining. He idolizes no one and knows that if you want to do something right (even if it's conquering the world), it's better to do it yourself. And so he decides to fight the war to end all wars.

The pacing is excellent and the twists are legion. Add to that Felix's unreliable narration and you get a tremendously entertaining and darkly humorous romp. Like most Parker heroes, Felix has no strict moral code. So readers should ask themselves: what does he really want?

The Siege is a series of loosely connected books. You don't need to have read the previous volumes to understand, follow, and appreciate the story. However, if you read the books in order of publication, you can enjoy certain nuances. Besides, they're fun, and why deprive yourself of a good time?

I'll read anything Parker writes. A Practical Guide to Conquering the World is an excellent, darkly humorous, and an insightful story I'll happily revisit in the future. Highly recommended!

Additional note: I've listened to the audiobook version and had a great time listening to it. Ray Sawyer captured the tone of the book perfectly.

The weakest of the 3, but still good and worth it

i prefered the first two books in the series, with the very 1st being the strongest. This one leave the setting of The City but still follows on of its citizens. i think its the fact its no longer bound in the city coupled with the more unbelievable path to power the central character takes in this book that dimishes ever so slightly compared to the first two that weakens it. But only slightly and definitely still worth the listen through

If you love KJ Parker, you'll love it

Know what you are getting into before you begin. KJ Parker books are full of extremely dry humor, lengthy details about weapons construction and ancient battle techniques, and the author's wry opinions. It isn't endless action, sex, or even all that much violence (though there is some). Ancient history buffs will love picking out the nuggets from our history and perhaps begin to wonder about the "facts" handed down through time. Slaves are led out of bondage into the desert, waters are parted, a girl leads armies to unlikely victories, tablets are handed down--though in circumstances one might not expect... Ray Sawyer reads with his usual skeptical irony that enhances Parker's style. I wonder if the lisping accent was included specifically as a good-natured dig at Sawyer (he handles it well). I think it's well known that KJ Parker is Tom Holt, though writing as KJ Parker allows Tom Holt's inner historian run rampant. No orcs or portable doors here, but lots about how to make a bow or defeat a cavalry charge. There is plenty of humor, but you sometimes need to pay close attention to see it.

Cynicism

I found this to be the most amusing and entertaining of the three books.

The main protagonist is without any redeeming characteristic or personality. They are utterly without empathy or any concern for those whose lives are ruined or uprooted. They are by far the most interesting and intriguing character.