Season 1, Episode 69: Flushing Andy Rooney’s Bleeding Fuzzy Wuzzies

Flushing Andy Rooney’s Bleeding Fuzzy Wuzzies

Hey, folks! Somehow the antepenultimate worst-rated podcast in the nation made it all the way to Episode 69 without getting cancelled! And how should we celebrate Magic 69? Why, with a little upside-down, titillating, tongue-tingling hate, of course!

Christmas came early this year for our special guest, Carla from Burnt Korn, Alabama. Our super fan, Inga from Germany, sent Carla an amazing coffee mug: “SORRY FOR HAVING FABULOUS TA-TAS AND BEING RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING—AS IF THAT’S MY FAULT.”

Now, reaching into the THN hate mailbag. Ah, the “Sovereign Citizen,” that Unabomber wannabe dope, invariably named Leroy, who lives just down the street from everyone, who thinks all laws derive from a clay tablet stuck up Charlamagne’s ass, and who makes it impossible for anyone within his vicinity to lead a normal life. Thanks, Ryan from Rural Ohio, for asking our advice on the matter. Well, as summary execution isn’t really an option, we recommend hating Leroy with all your big, wide Midwestern heart.

Co-host Arik is in the midst of an epic Health Recovery Journey. He’s lost nearly 70 pounds the past few months. That said, there are a few things worthy of hatred at the nearby gym. Number one, do NOT use the hand drier to dry off your sweaty junk. Yes, that happens. Two: do NOT pop your zits at the communal sink. Three: Do NOT leave a manscaping suicide blood trail from the shower to the locker.

Then, of course, there’s the Sovereign Citizen take on the matter. “According to King Arthur common law, if you’re so fat that your panus covers your genitalia, you don’t even need to wear shorts in the weight room.”

Finally, Sound engineer Pauly from Bali is tired of poor toilet etiquette. “People, follow the Tidy Bowl Golden Rule! Deuce unto others as you would have others deuce unto you.”

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