Gay men often grapple with perfectionism, navigating societal expectations and internalized standards that can intensify the pursuit of an idealized self-image. Known as the Best Little Boy in the World archetype, some gay men overcompensate in certain aspects of their lives, such as their career, appearance, and other achievements, to deflect negative attention away from their sexuality.

In this episode, we’re diving into the origins of the Best Little Boy in the World persona, examining research on how sexual minority men link self-worth more closely to achievement-related domains compared to their straight counterparts, and discussing how we can grow up beyond this archetype by overcoming our internalized homophobia.

Related Episodes:

• Listen to Episode 01. Hello, Trauma. It's Me, Rob‪.‬
• Listen to Episode 13. Perfectly Imperfect: Conquer Your Perfectionism
• Listen to Episode 85. Boundaries: How to Understand and Set Them
• Listen to Episode 94. Girl, Please: Say No to People-Pleasing

Additional Resources:

• The Best Little Boy in the World by Andrew Tobias
• The Best Little Boy in the World Grows Up
• The Social Development of Contingent Self-Worth in Sexual Minority Young Men: An Empirical Investigation of the “Best Little Boy in the World” Hypothesis
• Being in the Closet Drives You to Be More Successful, More Awful
• The Best Little Boy in the World — That's Me
• Queer Like Pete
• Why Do Young Gay Men Try to Be the Best?
• Good Little Boy Syndrome
• Best Little Boy in the World
• Superego
• Best Little Boy In The World
• 30 Ways to Deal with Internalized Homophobia
• Be Kind to Yourself

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In previous episodes, we discussed the importance of coming out, which is a deeply personal and pivotal moment for LGBTQ+ individuals. And while living openly can empower us to be our authentic selves, a number of complex factors can keep us in the closet.

In this episode, author, public speaker, and former teacher Kevin O’Connor joins us to discuss his personal journey out of marriage to embrace his sexuality at 55 and live authentically as a gay man.

Related Episodes:

• Listen to Episode 77. Coming Out

Additional Resources:

• Learn More About Kevin
• Follow Kevin on Instagram
• Follow Kevin on Facebook
• Read Two Floors Above Grief

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Today, authentic LGBTQ+ representation in TV is more important than ever since it reflects the community's diverse experiences, fosters a sense of inclusivity, challenges stereotypes, and provides meaningful representation that resonates with audiences to promote understanding and acceptance. However, in recent years, we’ve seen a trend where LGBTQ+ shows have been increasingly canceled, some after just one season, with Netflix being the biggest culprit.

In this episode, we’re examining Netflix’s recent cancellations of LGBTQ+ shows, comparing their approach to queer content with other media companies, and exploring the streaming giant's controversies surrounding decisions in the realm of LGBTQ+ storytelling.

Related Episodes:

• Listen to Episode 07. The History of Gay Representation in TV & Film
• Listen to Episode 09. Corporate Greed & Rainbow Capitalism
• Listen to Episode 55. Gay for Pay: Should Straight Actors Play Queer Characters?

Additional Resources:

• Every LGBTQ+ Show Cancelled Over the Past Year
• 30 LGBTQ+ Shows That Got Canceled in 2023
• Netflix Employees Walk Out Over Dave Chappelle Special
• Netflix Reportedly Gave Exec Second Chance After Investigating His Use Of Anti-LGBTQ Language
• Netflix Cut from LGBTQ Corporate Equality Report over Dave Chappelle’s ‘The Closer’
• Ricky Gervais Netflix Special Condemned by LGBTQ Groups for ‘Anti-Trans Rants Masquerading as Jokes’
• Ricky Gervais Condemned for Crude, Tired and Lazy AIDS Jokes in Controversial Netflix Special
• Netflix CEO Faces Backlash for Wild Comments on Cancelled Shows: ‘They are NOT Allies’
• Shane Gillis was Fired from SNL for Anti-Gay Slurs. He Now Has a New Special on Netflix
• Dave Chappelle Goes Aft

Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify

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