When the skies are filling with black, apocalyptic clouds and locusts, what do you do?

Well, if you're Jeep Hanson in 2010's dark modern fantasy Legion, you stare at it blankly for a moment before casually going back to whatever you were doing before and telling absolutely no one.

This week on The CineMeh Podcast, Josh and Ryan puzzle their way through an astonishingly inept tale of good versus evil, angels versus demons, the end of the world as we know it if not for the coming of a second christ child, and what happens when you put Paul Bettany into a movie that badly... BADLY wants to be Terminator.

Come for the dogmatic discussion, stay for the absolute absurdity of writing, clunkiness of dialogue, and derivative nature of almost every single move this film makes.

With a cast that can be enthusiastically described as B-, except for a few standouts like Vision and Lt. Tuck Pendleton (that's right 80's fans, that's an Innerspace reference!) and a writing team that clearly wanted to be making a different movie, Legion aims to please no one and succeeds.

Legion was released in 2010 and stars Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Adrianne Palicki, Tyrese Gibson, Kevin Durand, and I guess kinda Lucas Black, but he's not really sure most of the movie if he should be acting or just staring at things.

The CineMEH Podcast is a Slyjack Media, LLC production

Like what you hear? Check out our other podcast, Morning Radio, TBD available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Google podcasts.

Podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/morningradiotbd

Life is nothing but a slap in the face, so goes the song. So goes the race.

The rat race, that is to say.

As in the 2001 ensemble slapstick comedy loosely based on a 1963 ensemble slapstick comedy, Rat Race.

Except Rat Race isn't almost four hours long. And yet, somehow, it's still far too long.

This week on The CineMEH Podcast, Josh and Ryan are discussing the nuances of this blistering critique of the ultra-wealthy one percent and the twisted, sadistic ways they play with regular people's lives. We also chat about where the heck are Amy Smart and Breckin Meyer, whose stars were on the rise when they made this film but have since flamed out. The candle that burns twice as bright truly burns half as long.

Join us for a conversation about how the first act of Rat Race is a master class in character introduction, followed by nearly two more hours of non-sequitur scenes that have absolutely nothing to do with advancing the plot or moving characters along an arc. It's just a movie full of scenes. That's it.

And, if your bingo card has "Ryan defends Top Gun again and Josh rages at him for it," mark your board because we've got a doozy at the end of this episode!

In a surprisingly nuanced chat considering the subject matter in question, this week's episode of CineMeh will have you chasing the cheese and tucking the taters.

Rat Race was released in 2001 and stars Breckin Meyer, Cuba Gooding Jr, Whoopi Goldberg, Amy Smart, Seth Green, Jon Lovitz, Kathy Najimi, John Cleese and Rowan Atkinson.

The CineMEH Podcast is a Slyjack Media, LLC production

Like what you hear? Check out our other podcast, Morning Radio, TBD available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Google podcasts.

Podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/morningradiotbd

Were you looking to see a film adaptation of the previously unreleased, unannounced, and undeveloped Assassin's Creed: Viva Le France?! Then you've come to the right place, because this week, we've got a high-flying clock punk classic for you on our hands!

On this episode of The CineMEH Podcast, Josh and Ryan cover the 2011 interpretation of The Three Musketeers helmed by acclaimed video game director Paul WS Anderson. Yes, that's right, video game nerds, that was an Aklaim joke. Also, despite the heavily video game influenced introduction, rest assured this movie has absolutely nothing to do with video games.

It has ven less to do with Alexandre Dumas's classic work.

In a spiraling, death-defying "tribute" to the original text, we'll take you to the soaring heights and abysmal lows of this unbelievably strange take on swordplay, gunslinging, romance and adventure. Every wonder what Leelo from 'The Fifth Element' got up to after her date with destiny? This movie attempts to answer that question.

Not really. But that's Ryan's theory, anyway.

Come along for the ride as we swing from chandelier to chandelier and try and make sense of this hamfisted attempt to invent a new action-adventure franchise in the wake of Pirates of the Caribbean leaving the screens.

Yes. Wake. Like a ship's wake. Ships. Pirates. Get it?

I promise you, this is the best the humor gets considering how much of a tragic misfire this movie is.

Yes. Misfire. As in musket.

I'll stop now.

The Three Musketeers was released in 2011 and stars Orlando Bloom, Mila Jovovich, Mads Mikkelsen, Christof Waltz, and a bunch of other people who probably thought this would launch their careers and instead, they went down in flames.

Down in flames. Because airships crashing.

Just listen to the episode.

The CineMEH Podcast is a Slyjack Media, LLC production

Like what you hear? Check out our other podcast, Morning Radio, TBD available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon and Google podcasts.

Podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/morningradiotbd