Refusing Compulsory Sexuality

A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture

By: Sherronda J. Brown, Grace B Freedom, Hess Love - introduction

Narrated by: Yu-Li Alice Shen

For readers of Ace and Belly of the Beast: A Black queer feminist exploration of asexuality--and an incisive interrogation of the sex-obsessed culture that invisibilizes and ignores asexual and A-spec identity.

Everything you know about sex and asexuality is (probably) wrong.

The notion that everyone wants sex--and that we all have to have it--is false. It’s intertwined with our ideas about capitalism, race, gender, and queerness. And it impacts the most marginalized among us. For asexual folks, it means that ace and A-spec identity is often defined by a queerness that’s not queer enough, seen through a lens of perceived lack: lack of pleasure, connection, joy, maturity, and even humanity.

In this exploration of what it means to be Black and asexual in America today, Sherronda J. Brown offers new perspectives on asexuality. She takes an incisive look at how anti-Blackness, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and capitalism enact harm against asexual people, contextualizing acephobia within a racial framework in the first book of its kind. Brown advocates for the “A” in LGBTQIA+, affirming that to be asexual is to be queer--despite the gatekeeping and denial that often says otherwise.

With chapters on desire, f*ckability, utility, refusal, and possibilities, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality discusses topics of deep relevance to ace and a-spec communities. It centers the Black asexual experience--and demands visibility in a world that pathologizes and denies asexuality, denigrates queerness, and specifically sexualizes Black people.

A necessary and unapologetic reclamation, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is smart, timely, and an essential read for asexuals, aromantics, queer readers, and anyone looking to better understand sexual politics in America.

relatable (love it)

I've been an outspoken mixed race asexual for about 8 years now. it's very nice hearing I'm not alone, at all. these experiences I've had are not isolated to me alone. thank you so much for writing this Sherronda!

Important and Insightful

"The future we imagine must be a reality in which we collectively do more to combat the things that continually leave asexuals unprotected. To create this future, we have to consistently challenge both compulsory sexuality and white supremacist ideologies" (chapter "Possibilities," print book page 169)
"The Black asexual is rendered impossible through the (il)logics of anti-Black sexual racism, white supremacy, and compulsory sexuality. A world that allows for Black asexuals to be seen as possible, to live more freely in our asexuality, would also be a revolution for all others racialized, gendered, and queered. Such a world requires us to combat white supremacist ideologies and the very idea of 'human'" (chapter "Unhuman," print book page 122)

Highly rec!

Thought provoking about multiple topics and many moments of feeling seen. Helped me on my journey of having a healthier perspective on sexuality. Definitely heed the content warnings for each chapter. There is a lot of mention of situations that could be possibly upsetting. Only critiques (story & performance combined) would be for the use of references. It felt like too many references to tweets (I don't find those to be helpful), and when other works were referenced I couldn't quite tell when the quote started or ended, or why the author would explain another author's idea in depth, rather than recommend we read the referenced work ourselves. Narration was good, a bit monotone, but also slightly aggressive in a way that gave me anxiety. I'm pretty picky about narration, though.

a staple on my shelf

i loved this book! this book has combined so many dialogues and perspectives that i truly feel more connected with myself and others with intersectional identities. fully understanding this text requires supplementary reading in addition to lived experience and willingness to listen to others.

Their pen!

Brown articulates so many topics in that I’ve contemplated and resonated with yet could not quite explain. Grateful for their mind!