In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Lisa Sonni, author of Coming Back to Yourself: How to Rebuild Identity and Self-Trust After an Abusive Relationship, trauma bond recovery coach, and one of the most recognized voices in the conversation around abusive relationships, narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and trauma bonds.

Lisa shares how her own experience in a decade-long abusive relationship led her to understand the powerful and confusing pull of a trauma bond. She explains why trauma bonding is not two people bonding over shared pain, but an unhealthy attachment formed through cycles of cruelty and intermittent kindness. Together, Robin and Lisa explore how this dynamic creates confusion, cognitive dissonance, self-doubt, and a deep craving for relief that can make leaving feel nearly impossible.

Robin and Lisa also discuss the overlap between trauma bonding and gaslighting, including how abusers use tactics like DARVO, blame-shifting, and emotional manipulation to pull survivors into their version of reality. Lisa explains why education is often the first step toward healing, but why true recovery requires turning the focus back toward yourself: your feelings, your needs, your reality, and your right to safety.

To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.

Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone.

Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/

Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a

Dr. Robin Stern's Books:

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.darvo

In this episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern welcomes Melissa Duge Spiers, award-winning essayist, screenwriter, advocate, and author of Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows.

Melissa shares her experience growing up as a fourth-generation Seventh-day Adventist in what she describes as a high-control religious system. From rigid rules around food, appearance, behavior, sexuality, and thought, to the constant message that she should not trust her own instincts or questions, Melissa explains how religious control can train a person to look outside themselves for truth, approval, and direction.

Robin and Melissa explore the gaslighting that can occur inside high-control religious environments, especially when children are taught that their feelings, questions, bodies, and perceptions are sinful or dangerous. Melissa reflects on how that early conditioning followed her long after she left the church, shaping her boundaries, relationships, self-trust, and vulnerability to narcissistic and abusive dynamics.

This powerful conversation looks at religious trauma, purity culture, generational control, the "ghost of gaslighting," and the long process of reclaiming one's reality. Melissa's story is one of survival, truth-telling, holy disobedience and the courage to question what you were taught, name what harmed you, and begin to trust yourself again.

You can follow Melissa's journey on social media on Instagram and Tik Tok.

To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.

Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone.

Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/

Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a

Dr. Robin Stern's Books:

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.

For the 100th episode of The Gaslight Effect Podcast, Dr. Robin Stern turns the microphone over to a very special guest: her daughter, Melissa Wild.

In this intimate and wide-ranging conversation, Melissa interviews Robin about the origins of The Gaslight Effect, the personal and professional experiences that led her to name and define gaslighting, and what it has meant to watch the term become part of everyday language. Together, they revisit Robin's early work with the Woodhull Institute for Ethical Leadership, the women and relationships that helped shape her understanding of psychological manipulation, and the moment she realized she needed to write the book.

Melissa also brings her own perspective as Robin's daughter, reflecting on what it was like to grow up alongside this work and how conversations about voice, power, self-trust, and emotional intelligence shaped her own life. The two explore gaslighting across relationships, generations, gender, media, and culture, while also clarifying what gaslighting is, and what it is not.

This milestone episode is both a celebration and a reflection: 100 conversations about gaslighting, healing, reality, and the courage it takes to trust yourself again. It is also a moving mother-daughter conversation about legacy, learning, and the power of creating safe spaces where people can tell the truth about their lives.

To check out this and other episodes, head over to robinstern.com.

Don't forget to subscribe to The Gaslight Effect Podcast on your favorite podcast platform, and be sure to leave us a review to let us know what you think. Until next time, remember: healing is a journey, and you don't have to walk it alone.

Dr. Robin Stern's Social Media Links:

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/drrobinstern/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.robinstern/

Twitter (X) - https://twitter.com/RobinSStern

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/robin-stern-220b403a

Dr. Robin Stern's Books:

The Gaslight Effect

The Gaslight Effect Recovery Guide

Emotional Intelligence for School Leaders

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed on The Gaslight Effect Podcast do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the podcast. Any content provided by our guests, bloggers, sponsors or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, group, club, organization, business individual, anyone or anything.