Nobody wants to be a stick waving old man, but what happens when it’s that stick waving old man who’s telling young people to loosen up? After a series of studies from 2021 reported that teenagers are having less sex than the generations before them, a strange phenomenon has unfolded on the internet. Younger people are being morally conservative, older people are responding by calling younger people “puriteens” (puritanical teens), and then other older people are calling those older people “stick waving old men”. In this episode, Hannah and Maia wade through the muddy waters of this discourse, and attempt to find nuance in what has become a full on panic from all sides. What the hell happened here? Tangents include: Hannah travelling 5 hours to see DJ James Kennedy in Ottawa, and Maia telling everyone in middle school she had an “orgasm” at the New Moon premiere.

Full episode available on Patreon: Kristen and Bethany Baird make Christian life advice content on Youtube for their modest audience of 100k followers. But when Cody Ko reacted to one of their videos on his channel, spawning an entire industry of Girl Defined commentary, they became overnight sensations… for all the wrong reasons. Girl Defined certainly spreads harmful fundamentalist views to impressionable young women but, in this bonus episode, Hannah and Maia question whether Kristen and Bethany are always deserving of vitriol. For women coming into their sexualities alongside their audience, it’s important to consider if their advice is hypocritical, or just confused. Tangents include: Nara Smith and the TikTok trad wives, the “Who said I can’t wear my purity era with my converse” era of Disney, and the political theatre of Republican Christianity and its weaponization of Sydney Sweeney’s boobs. Oh - and MANY “69” jokes.

If you thought women’s beauty standards were unrealistic before, just wait until you find out about AI porn. Not only do these girlies have cartoonish curves, the faces of young teens, and impossibly long hair… they also have eight fingers on each hand! In this finale episode, Hannah and Maia discuss AI porn, the ways it infringes on bodily autonomy, and its commitment to rendering women’s oldest profession obsolete. You’d think we’d have flying cars by this point, but instead we’re jerking off to the face of Minnie Mouse algorithmically stitched onto Lana Rhoades. Perhaps humanity is more simple that we thought. Tangents include: Maia’s “reply guy” voice, r/doppelbangher, and Hannah fumbling about 15 different analogies.

CORRECTION: Text-to-image generators Stable Diffusion and Midjourney do not use GANS.

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Intro and outro song by our talented friend Ian Mills:

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SOURCES:

Samantha Cole, How Sex Changed the Internet and the Internet Changed Sex: A History, Workman Publishing Company (2022).

Samantha Cole, “Pornhub Is Banning AI-Generated Fake Porn Videos, Says They're Nonconsensual” Vice (2018).

Brit Dawson, “Inside the booming AI-generated porn industry” Dazed (2023).

Falon Fatemi, “Look What You Made Me Do: Why Deepfake Taylor Swift Matters” Forbes (2024).

Carl Öhman, “Introducing the pervert’s dilemma: a contribution to the critique of Deepfake Pornography” Ethics and Information Technology (2020).

Emine Saner, “Inside the Taylor Swift deepfake scandal: ‘It’s men telling a powerful woman to get back in her box’” The Guardian (2024).

Kat Tenbarge, “Found through Google, bought with Visa and Mastercard: Inside the deepfake porn economy” NBC (2023).

Jess Weatherbed, “Trolls have flooded X with graphic Taylor Swift AI fakes” The Verge (2024).

James Vincent, “Stable Diffusion made copying artists and generating porn harder and users are mad” The Verge (2022).