Nobody Needs to Know

A Memoir

By: Pidgeon Pagonis, Joey Soloway - introduction

Narrated by: Pidgeon Pagonis

From intersex activist Pidgeon Pagonis comes a candid and life-affirming true story of identity, lies, family secrets, and the healing power of truth.

Pidgeon Pagonis always felt like their life was a constant attempt to fit in with other girls—a feeling that was only exacerbated when puberty failed to hit. They never understood why…until they uncovered the secret that had haunted their childhood.

Bouncing between their Chicago home and the city’s children’s hospital, Pidgeon weathered a series of traumatic surgeries, fabrications, and misdirections. It wasn’t until college that Pidgeon pieced together the puzzle of their identity: they’d been born intersex but raised as a girl, their life shaped by lies that left them physically and mentally scarred. But for Pidgeon, what began as a shameful and traumatic discovery transforms into a painful yet joyous journey of self-love, truth, and healing.

Pidgeon’s inspiring memoir is for everyone whose body and spirit defy expectations, a fierce challenge to a system hell-bent on enforcing binary definitions. Ultimately, it’s a celebration of the freedom and empowerment that come from learning the truth about who you are—and living it.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2023 Pidgeon Pagonis (P)2023 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.

Critic reviews

“Pidgeon Pagonis's skillfully narrated memoir takes listeners on their coming-of-age journey as they struggled to fit in with other girls. Pidgeon's voice is calm and has a slight Latin accent.… Once the secret is revealed, Pagonis finds their voice and passion to protect other intersex people from having their body autonomy and choice taken from them.” —AudioFile Magazine

“Pagonis's writing style is accessible and engaging, creating a casual and inviting atmosphere. Their anecdotes about their friends, family, and school years are heartbreaking yet endearing and inspirational. Additionally, listeners who know Chicago will enjoy Pagonis's Chicago accent and their descriptions of familiar landmarks, schools, and neighborhoods. Pagonis's memoir is an intimate look into their life being intersex, offering readers a glimpse into their triumphs, struggles, and journey toward self-acceptance. A raw, can't-stop-listening experience.”—Library Journal

“[H]eart-wrenching…Pagonis’s campaign to speak up on behalf of intersex autonomy is galvanizing, and their journey toward found family is moving. This is an inspiring must-read.”—Publishers Weekly

Everyone Should Know

Pidgeon is fantastic. Everyone should know how intersex peoples' bodily autonomy was and is violated, how it feels to be an outsider and not know why for far too long, and how normative oversimplifications of the world lead to unnecessary brutalization. This is a magnificent and sometimes heartbreaking example.

Great storytelling in addition to education

Pidgeon Pagonis has beautifully written and performed this memoir which is both a personal narrative of their experiences growing up as an intersex person as well as an account of the activist efforts they played a key role in to successfully stop medically unnecessary and harmful surgeries on intersex infants and children at Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago. Entertaining and educational, I listened to the audiobook in only two days. Check it out! 

The education about intersex individuals

Enjoyed learning more about this topic and struggles to get intersex surgeries stopped. I really liked the main character Pigeon!

Important and compelling story, but writing style lacks luster

The story is an important one, very inspiring and the author is admirable. The writing style was a bit flat and not the most engaging, but I still enjoyed it. It felt like a possible middle grade reading level. Perhaps it was meant to be. I found the narrator a little off at times but overall OK - better at 1.2 speed. Overall, I’m glad I listened to this and am grateful to be more aware of the intersex experience.

Low hanging fruit

In our efforts to make this world, more humane and equal for all people, the work Pigeon has done should be replicated throughout the world.
Well written performed and wow what a story!