Procedural Veneration By cover art

Procedural Veneration

By: Daphne & Hank
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  • Summary

  • An untrue crime podcast where we talk about, rate, and goof on all the crime procedurals you’ve watched way too many times. Using our highly scientific evaluation system (the worst, the best, and the median) we will weave our way through dark back alleys and dirty crime scenes to definitively answer the questions: 1) Which crime procedural is the best? and 2) How many spin offs of popular procedurals are we willing to sift through? No previous knowledge of the shows are required, trust us, we're watching most of them for the first time! Read about our evaluation system and the episodes we've selected in our blog and follow along with us!
    Daphne Fauber 2022
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Episodes
  • Haven: Bad boy Duke makes fools of us all

    Haven: Bad boy Duke makes fools of us all
    Nov 1 2023
    Loosely tangentially related to a thought Stephen King once had... This week we talk about SyFy original Haven, known for putting WWE superstar Edge on the map. I cannot express enough, this show is not Eureka. Join us as we discuss poop-colored aether, cocoon sleep-crime, and cozy seaside Maine towns that are actually Nova Scotian. We looked at the first, second and last episodes to make our opinions on the Nathan vs. Duke conflict clear. Stay out of our way fanfic authors. Content warnings: abusive parents, a lot of orphans, alien nonsense. Theme song by Jake Krutulis.
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    1 hr and 6 mins
  • Numb3rs: Horizontal Sex Magnate

    Numb3rs: Horizontal Sex Magnate
    Oct 15 2023
    You've been enum3rated! This week we talk about CBS Drama Numb3rs, and no, it never gets any easier to type. Join us as we discuss the troubling monopoly David Krumholtz holds on bedroom activities, and a deep-dive into the psyche of double-- make that triple-- agents.We discuss the best (S3E24 The Janus List), worst (S2E3 Obsession), and most mediocre (S5E15 Guilt Trip) episodes and make harsh judgment on the buffoons and geniuses of numbers.Content warnings for Stalking, murder, acts of terrorism, reference to sexual violence, and beach mansions.Theme song credit to Jake Krutulis.
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    49 mins
  • CSI NY: Ben Stiller's Mummified Corpse

    CSI NY: Ben Stiller's Mummified Corpse
    Oct 7 2023
    The triumphant return of ProcVen! This week we dive into another Gary Sinise romp, this time in the CSI Universe. Join us as we watch the best (S6E10 Death House), worst (S1E5 A Man a Mile), and median-rated (S7E8 Scared Stiff). Will Gary's charming delivery save this snooze fest, or will New York's dark past consume itself.Content Warnings: Murder, Accidental Fratricide, Drowning, Escape RoomsWe also recognize that crime procedurals exist as a form of "Copaganda" by portraying civil rights violations and other unlawful actions by representatives of the law in a positive light.Thank you to Jacob Krutulis for our theme song!
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    1 hr and 15 mins
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