• The Empathy Exchange: Empowering Staff and Families in Seniors' Care

  • By: Deborah Bakti
  • Podcast
The Empathy Exchange: Empowering Staff and Families in Seniors' Care By cover art

The Empathy Exchange: Empowering Staff and Families in Seniors' Care

By: Deborah Bakti
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  • Summary

  • Let’s face it – seniors care is a complex business that provides a much needed service to residents and families during a really tough chapter in their lives. The beginning of this key relationship can be filled with anxiety, stress and worry and yet, there is a better way to bring residents, families and staff together. This podcast is specifically crafted for seniors care leaders, staff, and the families of residents, who share the common goal of the best possible care for their loved one who is now a member of a seniors care community. And yet, this key relationship can be tense, friction filled and challenging. Join host Deborah Bakti – a former executive in seniors care for 11 years, and a family member three times over, with her dad, mom, and husband all having lived as residents. She’s seen what it’s like on both sides. In each episode, we'll explore both the family and staff perspectives, shedding light on the emotions, expectations, and sometimes the disappointments that arise from the friction in these relationships. Through heartfelt conversations, personal anecdotes, and expert insights, we aim to foster a deeper understanding of the diverse perspectives that shape senior care environments. Whether you're a family member trying to navigate the transition of a loved one into senior care, a staff member dedicated to providing the best possible care, or simply curious about the intricacies of this crucial field, The Empathy Exchange offers a safe and informative platform for dialogue. Tune in to gain valuable insights, learn effective communication strategies, and cultivate a sense of empathy that bridges gaps and fosters strong connections between families and staff in senior care settings. Together, let's create a community where understanding thrives and where the journey of aging is met with compassion and empathy.
    © 2024 Deborah Bakti
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Episodes
  • Close the Expectation Gap and Minimize Disappointments in Seniors’ Care

    Close the Expectation Gap and Minimize Disappointments in Seniors’ Care
    Apr 23 2024
    In today’s solo episode, you’ll be getting a masterclass in how to better navigate and manage expectations, from both the perspective of staff and families in seniors’ care.I’ll break down the formula of Disappointment = Expectations – Reality (from Chip Conley, Emotional Equations book) and how we can reframe “unrealistic expectations” into a perspective that you can better work with.We cover a lot of information in this podcast so have provided references here:From Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown:“Disappointment is unmet expectations. The more significant the expectations, the more significant the disappointment. Every day, sometimes every hour, we are consciously and unconsciously setting expectations of ourselves and the people in our lives, especially those closest to us. The unconscious, unexamined, and unexpressed expectations are the most dangerous and often turn into disappointment. In fact, the research tells us that disappointment is one of the most frequently experienced emotions and it tends to be experienced at a high level of intensity.”“When we develop expectations, we paint a picture in our head of how things are going to be and how they're going to look. We set expectations based not only on how we fit in that picture, but also on what those around us are doing in that picture. This means that our expectations are often set on outcomes totally beyond our control. Like what other people think, what they feel or how they're going to react. The movie in our mind is wonderful but no one else knows their parts, their lines or what it means to us. Disappointment takes a toll on us and our relationships. It requires considerable emotional bandwidth.” Questions staff can ask families:What is your understanding of how our home and care supports work?Have you had previous experiences with fill in the blank, ie long term care? What are your perceptions about fill in the blank, ie assisted living? Tell us a bit about what your expectations are?What are you most worried about moving your loved one into our home? What do you need to feel more comfortable or confident with this decision of moving your loved one into our home?What's most important to you? What are you most hoping for? What would you appreciate the most from us?And what support do you need or want from us? For families, these questions can help you review and assess the expectations you have coming into seniors’ care:Why is this your expectation? How reasonable do you think this expectation is? How much are you relying on things outside of your control to meet that expectation?How will you feel if this isn't met? What needs are you trying to get met with this expectation? How important is this to you? Is there knowledge that you're missing that if provided could change this expectation? I referenced these questions from Brene Brown’s book Atlas from the Heart:What expectations do you have going into this?What do you want to happen and why? What will that mean to you? Do you have a movie in your head? Are you setting goals and expectations that are completely outside of your control? Check out Episode 2 “Bridging Gaps in Admission Anxiety: A Family and Staff perspective to hear more about the Knowledge, Emotion and Identity Gaps.Here are the 20 misconceptions that are from Now What? Managing the Emotional Journey of Long Term Care for Families, and in the book I share information and clarification with these misconceptions. I thought my loved one was going to get 24/7 one on one care.I thought clothing wouldn't get lost or damaged. After all, they're labeled. I should always be able to call and speak to a care team member right away.I felt my loved one would have the same people taking care of them. Every day.If there's a care plan, then everything on that care plan should be done every day.The only way to get respect and resolve a problem is to be the squeaky wheel and escalate it to the highest level seven. If I complain the staff will take it out on my loved one.Now that they're in long term care, my loved one is going to improve or get better (otherwise known as the “I expect the staff to work miracles”. Staff should know where my loved one is when I call or visit. I thought I'd feel more settled and relieved now that my loved one is in long term care or I thought the adjustment would take longer. I should be able to get a parking spot when I come to visit I thought I'd get regular detailed updates about my loved ones activities participation, medical information, eating habits, etc. I thought our care conference would be more comprehensive with information updates and be easier to get scheduled. I thought it would be easier to connect with other families at the home. I thought the staff would be more proactive and alerting me to additional issues, for example, foot care or changes to their habits or behaviors.I thought the room would be secure. I thought we would have ...
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    35 mins
  • The Power of Practical Presence with Trish Tutton

    The Power of Practical Presence with Trish Tutton
    Apr 9 2024

    Let’s face it, stress and overwhelm can be a daily occurrence which interrupts how we are showing up and impacting others. This can then contribute to the frustration and friction between staff and families in seniors’ care.


    As much as stress is a reality, having negative reactions and ruminations is optional. This is one of many things I took away from my conversation with Trish Tutton.


    If you would love to have some practical and simple tools in your back pocket to help you feel less stressed, you’ll find this episode useful, uplifting and empowering.


    Trish Tutton bio:

    After years working in cultures where stress and burnout were seemingly the only way to success, Trish suffered a shocking loss and things became clear: stress is unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to dictate our lives. As a speaker and mindfulness teacher, Trish has taught the skills to become UNSHAKABLE and THRIVE amidst change and challenge to over 10,000 people across North America. She is passionate about helping folks become more resilient and less stressed with simple but impactful mindfulness techniques.

    You can find her as a teacher on the #1 free meditation app in the world, Insight Timer, and she is the author of the Mindful Mornings Journal.


    My training highlights include:

    • With a background in non-profit events organization, I have a deep appreciation for those working in high-stress environments.
    • Over 15 years of personal practice and study with world class teachers like Jon Kabat-Zinn, Tara Brach, Mark Coleman, Bernie Clark, Joseph Goldstein, and more.
    • Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, via University of Massachusetts Medical Centre
    • Search Inside Yourself, Google’s Mindfulness and Emotional Intelligence course
    • Fundamentals of Coaching, via Co-Active Coaching
    • Science of Well-being, via Yale University


    You can find Trish at:

    • https://www.instagram.com/trish_tutton/
    • https://www.facebook.com/TrishTuttonMindfulness/
    • https://www.trishtutton.com/
    • Mindful Mornings Journal on Amazon


    A great blog post: https://www.trishtutton.com/blog/coping-strategies-for-stress-5-ways-to-stress-better

    You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com. I’d love to hear from you!
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    41 mins
  • Adopting a Palliative Approach with Dr. Sammy Winemaker

    Adopting a Palliative Approach with Dr. Sammy Winemaker
    Mar 26 2024

    In today’s episode, we talk about The P Word, a topic we don’t typically like to even think about, never mind plan for.


    My guest, Dr. Sammy Winemaker shares her experience, knowledge and insights with her compassionate, approachable and pragmatic style, which has been likened to as a Mr. Rogers kind of approach to care.


    Let’s face it, death is a reality, and when we have a loved one living in seniors’ care, it can be difficult to face. Yet knowledge is power for both the staff providing care, and the family going through this emotional journey.


    This is a conversation that will help you think about the palliative approach with a bit more optimism and hope.


    About Dr. Samantha Winemaker


    Dr. Samantha Winemaker is an Associate Clinical Professor, Department of Family Medicine, in the Division of Palliative Care at McMaster University.


    She teaches palliative care to health care professionals. She won the Ontario College of Family Physicians Award of Excellence in 2010, the Elizabeth J. Latimer Prize in Palliative Care in 2018, and the Dr. S. Lawrence Librach Award for Palliative Medicine in the Community in 2019.


    Dr. Sammy is the author, with Dr. Hsien Seow of Hope for the Best, Plan for the Rest: 7 keys for navigating a life changing diagnosis and a founder of The Waiting Room Revolution.


    You can find out more here:


    https://twitter.com/SammyWinemaker

    https://www.instagram.com/sammy.winemaker/?hl=en

    https://www.tiktok.com/@dr.sammywinemaker

    https://www.linkedin.com/in/samantha-winemaker-01ba21163/?originalSubdomain=ca

    Summary of Questions from this episode


    Questions staff can ask families


    How about we talk about the illness that landed your loved one here at our front door.

    How much do you understand about the circumstances or the health challenges that your loved one has that required them to come to long-term care? Let’s talk about that.

    Whats your understanding of your loved one’s illness?

    What’s your understanding of the decline you were seeing at home or the increase in their needs?

    Did you understand how that connected with their underlying illness or illnesses?

    Did you ever ask anyone before you came here?

    What to expect going forward with this particular condition?

    What did they tell you?

    And if they hadn’t discussed that with you, is that something that you would like to talk about today because it can really help you, give you a roadmap.


    You can find out more about me and the work I do at DeborahBakti.com or email me at Deborah@DeborahBakti.com. I’d love to hear from you!
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    44 mins
Social Sciences Relationships
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