Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners Podcast By Kiki Astor cover art

Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners

Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners

By: Kiki Astor
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Welcome to "Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor" – the podcast where old money meets new manners, and your Auntie Kiki spills the tea on all things etiquette, with a side of laughter and a dash of aristocratic charm! Join the illustrious Kiki Astor, author of smutty romance novels and grande dame of decorum, as she tackles your most pressing etiquette questions with the finesse of a debutante twirling at a ball. Wondering about the historical roots of fork placement or the proper way to decline a social invitation without causing a scandal? Auntie Kiki has you covered, darling! In each episode, Kiki Astor delves into the archives of social graces, uncovering the hidden gems of bygone eras and bringing them into the 21st century with a wink and a nod. Learn how to curtsy with confidence, when to deploy the subtle art of shade, and why you should never, ever drop your pedigree papers, whether it's during a soirée, a cocktail party, or in the PTA or HOA meeting. From navigating the treacherous waters of modern technology to mastering the delicate dance of small talk, Kiki Astor is here to ensure you ascend the social ladder without stepping on any well-heeled toes. So, grab your monocle, straighten your tiara, and prepare for a delightful blend of refined advice and uproarious anecdotes that will have you laughing all the way to the gilded gates of high society. Subscribe now and embark on a journey through the annals of etiquette, where Kiki Astor transforms the socially awkward into the effortlessly elegant, one podcast episode at a time. After all, darling, why be gauche when you can be gloriously graceful? 🥂 #AwkwardEtiquette #KikiAstor #MannersMatter2023 Personal Development Personal Success Social Sciences
Episodes
  • The New Grand Tour: Cultivating Old Money Taste in the Modern World

    The New Grand Tour: Cultivating Old Money Taste in the Modern World
    Apr 20 2026
    In this insightful episode of "Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners," Kiki Astor delves into the historical Grand Tour, contrasting it sharply with contemporary travel and offering a powerful framework for cultivating taste, confidence, and a sophisticated worldview in the modern era. Historically, the Grand Tour (17th-18th centuries) was far from a mere holiday; it was a rigorous social rite of passage and a system of cultural engineering for young European elites. Designed to complete one's education, it exposed travelers to art, antiquity, and diverse civilizations, particularly across the European continent. Accompanied by "bear leaders" (tutors) who guided their intellectual and moral development, these young aristocrats were meant to return refined, less insufferably British, and equipped with a portable internal reference system for discernment. Despite intentions, the tours were often rife with gambling, scandal, and personal transformation, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. Astor meticulously differentiates the Grand Tour's core purpose – the formation of taste and worldview – from modern "influencer travel" (focused on content production, visibility, and fragmented experiences) and "family vacations" (prioritizing rest, ease, and shared memories). She argues that the need for this "finishing school of the world" hasn't disappeared; if anything, it's more urgent today for training perception and understanding how life can be lived differently. The episode then brilliantly reinterprets the Grand Tour for contemporary listeners, regardless of age or budget. Astor suggests modern equivalents for the historical "tutor," including digital tutors (curated intellectual content from museum archives, scholars), taste mentors (discerning friends), using museums as tutors (slow, intentional engagement with fewer objects), and curated reading lists (novels, history, architecture). Practical advice extends to packing (absence of excess, strategic carry-on), itinerary planning (slow travel, fewer places, planned downtime), and even recreating the Grand Tour sensibility at home through art study, literature, local museum visits, and themed dinners. A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Kiki's proposed rebalanced global Grand Tour, moving beyond Eurocentrism. This ambitious itinerary spans London, Paris, Rome, Marrakesh, Lagos, Mumbai, Tokyo, Shanghai, Singapore, Mexico City, Sao Paulo, and New York City. Each destination is chosen for its unique lessons on power dynamics, urban forms, historical presentation, inequality, and global synthesis, aiming to produce an individual who understands the world as a complex, interconnected entity. Finally, Astor provides crucial etiquette considerations for sophisticated modern travel, covering aspects like navigating finances with friends, cultural sensitivity (learning local phrases, respecting dress codes, observing before participating), thoughtful preparation (reading, soft landings), polite food refusal, and appropriate communication (what to say/not to say, photo ethics). The ultimate marker of a successful Grand Tour, Kiki concludes, is returning with "better questions, harder to impress or trick, but easier to delight." This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to deepen their understanding of elite identity, cultural fluency, and the art of living with profound discernment. --- Show Notes: Episode Title: (Choose one from the list above, e.g., "The Grand Tour Reboot: Cultivating Old Money Taste in a New World") Episode Description: Kiki Astor unpacks the historical Grand Tour, revealing its origins as an old money rite of passage and a system of cultural engineering. Discover why this transformative journey is more relevant than ever for developing taste, confidence, and a global worldview today, and learn how to embark on your own modern Grand Tour – even without leaving home. Key Themes & Topics: * The historical context and purpose of the 17th-18th century Grand Tour. * How the Grand Tour functioned as a "finishing school" for elite identity. * Distinguishing the Grand Tour from modern "influencer travel" and "family vacations." * The role of "bear leaders" (tutors) in shaping young aristocrats. * Practical strategies for recreating the Grand Tour's benefits in today's world. * Modern "tutors": digital resources, discerning mentors, museums, reading lists. * The concept of a "Grand Tour at home" for cultivating sensibility. * Kiki Astor's proposed rebalanced global Grand Tour itinerary. * Essential etiquette and practical advice for cultured, mindful travel. * Developing a trained eye, steady judgment, and confident way of moving through the world. Historical Grand Tour Insights: * A social rite of passage for young men (and some women) of fortune from Britain and Northern Europe. * Not leisure, but a "system of cultural engineering" to produce ...
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    1 hr and 1 min
  • From Queen Victoria to Instagram Bridezillas: Old Money Wedding Etiquette & Style

    From Queen Victoria to Instagram Bridezillas: Old Money Wedding Etiquette & Style
    Apr 13 2026

    In this episode of Awkward Etiquette: Old Money and New Manners, Kiki Astor explores how Queen Victoria's 1840 white gown and later royal spectacles (Charles & Diana, Grace Kelly, JFK/Jacqueline) shaped modern wedding expectations. She examines the social and economic pressures behind extravagant weddings, who should pay, the rise of pre-wedding events, venue and menu choices, wedding attire (old money vs. new money), guest etiquette, digital invites vs. tradition, and strategies to avoid becoming a "bridezilla." Practical, budget-friendly tips emphasize authenticity, restraint, and how to create an elegant day that reflects values rather than trying to project status and keep up with influencers.

    • Intro & thesis: How Queen Victoria (1840) set the white-dress precedent and transformed weddings into status performances.
    • Historical anchors:
      • Queen Victoria's white dress: symbolism, lace industry support, status signaling.
      • Charles & Diana (1981): spectacle, public finance, backlash.
      • Grace Kelly (1956) & Jackie Kennedy (1953): models of restraint and curated guest lists.
      • Queen Elizabeth II (1947): post-war modesty and tradition.
    • Main themes:
      • Weddings as performative displays of social status vs. personal celebration.
      • Financial realities: who pays, avoiding ruinous expectations, prioritizing long-term goals over one-day spectacle.
      • Modern etiquette shifts: digital invites, wedding websites, RSVPs vs. tradition.
      • Pre-wedding event culture: engagement parties, showers, bachelorettes—value vs. excess.
      • Venue choices: authenticity over Instagrammability; alternatives (home, club, chapel, meaningful local spots).
      • Attire: old-money simplicity, vintage and tailoring tips, guest dress-code rules, color no-nos (white/ivory).
      • Menu & drinks: elegant simplicity, seasonal/local choices, family-style or signature drinks, budget-friendly substitutes (Prosecco, punch).
      • Guest behavior: arrive on time, follow dress code, don't upstage, support the couple.
      • Bride/Bridegroom guidance: set boundaries, communicate, expect small failures, remain gracious.
    • Personal anecdotes: Kiki's own low-budget yet elegant wedding (university chapel, restaurant reception, borrowed flowers/cake).
    • Practical tips & quick wins (actionable):
      • Set a shared budget early; decide who pays and delegate small, meaningful contributions.
      • Prioritize 3-4 things that matter most (venue, dress, photos, food); save elsewhere.
      • Consider vintage or off-the-rack + tailoring for a classic look.
      • Use a wedding website + a tasteful paper invitation for etiquette/clarity.
      • Choose meaningful venues (family estate, backyard, private club) over trending destinations.
      • Simplify the menu: seasonal, local, a few elegant choices; pick one signature cocktail.
      • Limit pre-wedding events; do what feels authentic rather than performative.
      • Communicate guest expectations clearly (dress code, plus-ones, travel).
      • Practice composure: plan for small mishaps and lead with grace.
    • Resources & links mentioned:
      • Kiki Astor's novel Scarlet Fever (for readers who enjoy old-money fiction)
      • Contact: MadamexofMontecito@gmail.com (listener Q&A)
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    1 hr and 13 mins
  • Beyond the Trend: Timeless, Classic, Ageless, and Iconic, the Old Money Way

    Beyond the Trend: Timeless, Classic, Ageless, and Iconic, the Old Money Way
    Apr 6 2026

    Join Auntie Kiki (Kiki Astor) on the "Awkward Etiquette Old Money and New Manners" podcast as she uncovers the secrets to a truly timeless existence. This episode dives deep into why the old money aesthetic resonates so deeply and how you can integrate effortless elegance into your home, wardrobe, lifestyle, manners, and even your approach to aging. Inspired by a surprising home tour, Kiki shares practical tips on choosing honest materials, embracing thoughtful editing, and cultivating an attitude that transcends fleeting trends. Learn how to create classic spaces and styles on a budget, conduct a "digital detox," and practice timeless etiquette that makes you—and those around you—feel valued and comfortable. Discover how to live an iconic life that is fluid, intentional, and always in style.

    Key Topics Discussed:

    - Timeless Elegance: Embracing the enduring appeal of the old money aesthetic.

    - Timeless Design: Secrets for creating ageless spaces, focusing on materials and the "Light & Touch Test."

    - Budget-Friendly Home: Smart strategies for achieving a sophisticated home without breaking the bank.

    - Avoiding the "Time Capsule": Blending eras for a personalized, comfortable, and classic living environment.

    - Digital Detox & Analog Living: Cultivating intentional, less-connected daily practices.

    - Timeless Entertaining: Classic approaches to hosting and celebrations, including weddings.

    - Ageless Style & Investment Dressing: Building a wardrobe that stands the test of time through quality and fit.

    - Graceful Aging: Focusing on vibrancy, posture, grooming, and an engaged mind over cosmetic fixes.

    - Timeless Manners & Etiquette: Developing intentional, respectful, and fluid social skills.

    - Strategic Trend Integration: How to selectively incorporate trends while maintaining a timeless core.

    Kiki Astor's Novels Mentioned in the Episode:

    - Scarlet Fever (Dark Inheritance series: old money rivalries, haunted equestrian, suspenseful romance)

    - Pink Palazzo (historic homes, evolving aesthetics)

    - Low Season in St Tropez (1920s design, new materials for classic looks)

    - Midnight Blue (forthcoming, perfumery, analog vs. tech)

    Upcoming Event:

    Santa Barbara Literary Festival, May 2nd & 3rd, 2026. Kiki Astor will be on a romance panel and hosting a workshop on self-promotion for writers.

    Connect with Auntie Kiki:

    www.kikiastor.com

    Mailing List: Sign up on Kiki Astor's website for updates on books, appearances, and more.

    Pressing etiquette and old money style questions? Ask Auntie Kiki!

    madamexofmontecito@gmail.com

    Thank you for listening to The Awkward Etiquette Old Money and New Manners Podcast!
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    44 mins
All stars
Most relevant
Auntie Kiki is fabulous and straightforward. Great listen!! I look forward to each new episode!

Delightful Indulgence!

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I first became aware of Auntie Kiki on TikTok. Her content is fresh, fun, and entertaining. I am an avid reader of her books (delightfully smutty) and a dedicated listener to her podcast. Her advice on navigating various social situations, relationships, and etiquette are top notch.

Auntie Kiki to the rescue

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Thank goodness for Kiki's wonderful and entertaining take on life. Her wisdom and sometimes hilariously delivered, yet spot on insights warm my soul. I am grateful and applaud her noble work. The books and podcasts are filled with substance and are riveting, such enjoyment- highly reccomended.


Extremely enjoyable pearls of wisdom

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It warmed my ears to hear the word “soigné” uttered. Whether you live in the family manor or in a 5 floor walk up, Auntie KiKi’s maxims will sustain you through life. In short, it’s all practical advice. Delivered with a saucy dash of tongue in cheek.

A comfort and a joy

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