SUMMARY - In this episode, we explore relational cognitive skills, the brain-based abilities that shape how children navigate relationships, manage emotions, and respond to others. When these skills are still developing, behaviors can feel deeply personal and even hurtful. This episode offers a powerful reframe: your child’s behavior is not a reflection of their character, but a signal of lagging skills that can be supported and strengthened over time.

TAKEAWAYS:

• Many of the most challenging behaviors are rooted in lagging relational cognitive skills, not defiance or disrespect
• Skills like flexibility, frustration tolerance, perspective-taking, and emotional regulation are brain-based and develop over time
• When these skills are underdeveloped, behaviors can feel personal, hurtful, and scary for parents
• Social awareness and interpersonal skills impact a child’s ability to read cues, understand others, and build relationships
• Cognitive rigidity can make it extremely difficult for kids to shift plans, handle “no,” or consider other perspectives
• Emotional outbursts often reflect difficulty regulating, expressing, and responding to emotions, not intentional misbehavior
• Under stress, a child’s thinking brain can go offline, making these skills temporarily inaccessible
• Shifting from a “won’t” mindset to a “can’t yet” lens can transform how you respond to your child
• Skills can be supported and strengthened over time with the right understanding and approach

RESOURCES:

Brain First Parenting Podcast, Episode 3: Help Your Rigid Thinking Child Become More Flexible

Brain First Parenting Podcast, Episode 8: Help Your Child Break the Perseveration Loop

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SUMMARY - Today's episode is Part 2 of a 2-part conversation with Guy Stephens, founder and executive director of the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR), a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the use of punitive, exclusionary, and dangerous discipline in schools.

Takeaways:

• AASR's work is guided by 5 principles: trauma-informed, neuroscience-aligned, neurodiversity-affirming, collaborative, and relationship-driven
• Implementing these principles into the culture of an organization and the work of the individual professional is not a "one-and-done" event. It requires on-going commitment and work.
• When behavior is assessed using these five principles, it is then possible to see beyond the surface behavior, through a brain and nervous system informed lens.
• When the root cause of behavior is accurately identified, there are other, more compassionate and effective approaches that emerge in how to support the individual who is struggling behaviorally.

RESOURCES:

• Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR)
• YouTube: Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint

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If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

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SUMMARY - Today's episode is Part 1 of a 2-part conversation with Guy Stephens, founder and executive director of the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR), a national nonprofit dedicated to ending the use of punitive, exclusionary, and dangerous discipline in schools. Driven by his own son’s traumatic experiences, Guy advocates for trauma-informed, neuroscience-aligned, and neurodiversity-affirming approaches in child-serving systems. Listen in on the conversation with Eileen and Guy, as they discuss a topic that is important for parents and professionals alike.

TAKEAWAYS:

• This work is personal for Guy and he shares how he came to his advocacy work to prevent seclusion and restraint in schools and other environments as the parent of a neurodivergent child who had multiple experiences of being secluded and restrained.
• Guy shares details about the mission of Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR), which is to inform changes in policy and practice to reduce and eliminate the use of punitive discipline and outdated behavioral management approaches and end the school-to-prison pipeline.
• Guy explains the AASR's 3 areas of focus: legislation and law policy; education; and support.

RESOURCES:

• Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint (AASR)
• YouTube: Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint

=======================

If you appreciated this episode, and would like to receive a weekly note from Eileen about the Brain First Parenting journey every Monday, you can subscribe to her free newsletter HERE!

You can also check out all the FREE resources Eileen offers for parents, and learn more about all things Brain First at her website: eileendevine.com

And of course, find and follow Eileen on social media:

Facebook

Instagram

YouTube

Pinterest