If I Had Said

a novel

"Nyssa Lakin," he stammered, "will you marry me?" Nyssa Lakin is twenty years old when her boyfriend, Reese, proposes marriage, and she finds herself unable to give him an immediate answer. She loves him, but at this stage in her life, with so many unanswered questions still ahead, is she really ready for marriage? "How I regretted that I was unable to throw my arms around Reese's neck and cry out that age-old refrain from every romantic movie I'd ever watched as a child...I would always stare at the screen, and want to shout at them, 'But how can you know for sure?'" Nyssa’s choice will determine the direction of her life. In concurrent storylines, If I Had Said examines how Nyssa’s future plays out in the aftermath of this significant decision. One narrative follows the next ten years in the life of Nyssa Nowles, who said yes to Reese’s proposal; the other, the life of Nyssa Lakin, who said no. Through hardship, joy, and sorrow, as well as occasional misgivings about whether she did the right thing, each version of Nyssa works hard to overcome the challenges of the journey that follows her decision.