Goldilocks and the Three Bears - The Autobiography of Goldie Locks

More Than Just The Whole Bloody Truth! - Her Complete Herstory

By: Michael Robert Krikorian, Goldie Locks, Briar Rose

Narrated by: Virtual Voice

Fantasying Is Believing!


"If a laugh can be had in a world shrouded by sadness and sorrow, is that not the equal of finding gold while digging for coal?"

The story presented here comes directly from the original Blonde Bombshell herself, Goldie Locks. Long before bleach adorned the heads of Marilyn Monroe, Kim Novak and, of course, Gorgeous George, Goldie set the standard for those sporting real locks of gold.

Oh, and by the way, Goldie reminded me as we were writing this that 'tis not Goldilocks. 'Tis Goldie Locks. According to Goldie, "It looks dippy the other way."

These few pages are meant as a reminder that there are always two sides to every story. In Goldie's case, she wishes to combat the years of hearsay accusations and inaccurate portrayals of her romp in the forest that fateful morning and her unfortunate encounter with the bears. Up until now, she has been silent. But now it's time that she finally has her say. And what she has to say will surely leave you laughing!

"I could not have perpetrated such a heinous act. It is not in my nature. I have dimples!"

The true focus here is on a celebration of creativity, imagination and unadulterated fun. However, even fun has to be governed by a degree of fairness and decorum.

"It is wholly unfair to attack or take advantage of an adversary who is clearly unarmed and unprepared. You know… A moron."

As you will discover, there is more between these covers than a simple story. Hidden within this text is a guideline for life and living presented to you by someone who has truly seen it all.

Goldie expounds on her thoughts on dating and the opposite sex...

"Though most men need compliments to feed their egos, have them look somewhere else for their nourishment. In case you have not noticed, they tend to make it seem like they have scaled the heights of Everest whenever they change a bloody lightbulb. They will switch it on and off over and over until we take note of it and acknowledge their Herculean effort. This is not a good thing. You need to keep them in their place."

As an observer of the world, Goldie has come to learn many things through her myriad of travels. For example, she firmly believes that life and living are not the same thing.

"Life is a steady succession of breaths, blinks, and swallows but is that all there is to living? Life is lived not survived. Too many people plot out every aspect of their existence only to become disillusioned when their plans go awry. What many fail to recognize is the simple truth that without expectations there can be no disappointments."

That is but one of the countless maxims expounded within what you are about to read. In its own way, this is a narrative that is meant to share with you a pathway through reality that leads to something much greater… Happiness. For what is life without smiles and laughter?

And when it comes to frivolity and fun, Goldie follows her father's sage wisdom...

"There is no point in doing something half-arse when you can take a little more time and make a complete arse of yourself!" Harry Locks (Goldie's Father)

With a foreword by the King of Bubblegum Music, Tommy Roe, and an introduction by the Princess of Somnambulism, Princess Aurora (aka Sleeping Beauty), Goldie truly proves that fantasying is believing.

And so we hope you will all enjoy the true story of Goldie Locks and the Three Bears.

And never forget what Goldie always says...

"We are not just women... We are trainers."