Liches Get Scritches

By: HJ Tolson

Narrated by: Tim Campbell

Jenkins dreams of being immortal... lucky for him, nine lives are plenty of time to perfect his cultivation.

With magic and friendship on his side, life in the forest is good. Blessed by the Sun, Jenkins spends his days fishing with River, dancing with the Mists, and singing with Moon, all the while maintaining impeccable toe-beans and a flawless coat. Because to cleanse a meridian is to cleanse oneself, after all, inside and out.

But Life isn't all sunbeams and starlight. Every kitten must grow up eventually, and Jenkins is no exception. Heavenly trials and tribulations follow his every triumph, as Death looms in the shadows. Curiosity might not kill this cat, but a pestilent horde of rats and their demonic king just might.

Nine lives may not be enough to save himself, but if Jenkins can come to understand Death, then maybe, just maybe, he can save his home instead. And everyone knows, a cat always lands on its feet.

A mostly cozy, slice-of-life western cultivation. Redwall x Lovecraft x Beware of Chicken. A standalone story in the Liches Get Stitches universe.

©2025 HJ Tolson (P)2025 Podium Audio

Mixed Feelings

Coming into this as someone who both loves the main series that this is from and hates cultivation stories, I naturally have mixed feelings about it. This book takes place mostly before the main story, although there is a little bit of overlap with the first book at the end. We essentially get to the point of Jenkins' death and a little beyond but contrary to the title, he has not become a litch yet.

So if not about a litch kitty, what is the book about? A cultivating cat, I'm afraid. You know, the whole meditating and cycling chi nonsense that if you have read about it once, you have read about it a thousand times. It's the same old soup, but it's a cat doing it. Despite the author being extremely talented and cats being wonderful creatures, it still can't make up for the shear relative bordom inherent in a cultivation story. Jenkins learns to cultivate and fights some "demonic" cultivator rats. That's pretty much it at the core.

OK, yes, there are many lovely characters along the way, and it's sort of heartwarming at times, but... it just felt lacking. I guess it just wasn't what I had expected or hoped. We barely even see Maude in this other than to occasionally pet or comfort Jenkins.

If you are in the mood for a cultivation novel that is written in a humourous way and told through the viewpoint of a cat via a fantastic narrator, then by all means, give this a try. However, if you were expecting something more in line with the main story, this really isn't it.