Eddie Strike and the Cursed Bloodline

By: Jack Spry

Narrated by: Siana Black, Dan McCloud

My life was a spreadsheet of beige calculations...until a dead grandfather I never knew left me a magical house and a death sentence.

Now I'm the steward of a sentient manor on the mystical Isle of Man, and my life has become a high-stakes RPG. I've got levels to grind, stats to manage, and two drop-dead gorgeous fairies for company—one, a fiery warrior with a secret, and the other, a mischievous archer who thinks sharing is caring. But my new power has earned me a new enemy: an ancient vampire prince with a grudge, and he's just fast-tracked my trial by combat...to the death.

I have a handful of levels, a sarcastic magic sword, and two fairies who believe in me. He has centuries of power and a guild of corrupt politicians on his side. They think a numbers guy can't win a magical war. It's time to prove them wrong.

©2025 Jack Spry (P)2025 Royal Guard Publishing LLC

fine story, unemotional narration

the story is okay for what it is, hits up some nice descriptions and concepts but the primary narration doesn't really inspire a lot of attention and its very easy to get distracted

Magically beige

I couldn't get through this. I just couldn't. And normally, I'd leave it at that and just move on. But this thing is sitting at a ridiculously high rating right now, and people deserve to know what they're getting.

First off, try the preview. If you don't find the narrators voice impossible to focus on, maybe you'll be fine with it. That dull, emotionless voice made it impossible to focus on the story.

Second, yes, the writing is JUST like that consistently, at least for the first couple hours that I got through. It's excessively flowery, overly descriptive, and the author will absolutely spend several minutes just describing pulling someone back from tripping near a cliff.

Third, beige. I can't help but poke fun at this. Reminds me of sad beige toys for sad beige children. The word pops up several times in quick succession, and really, it's a great descriptor for the lackluster MC that tries to chicken out at every minor inconvenience.

Lastly, the first heroine, or at least, I assume she is. She is frustrating. Like, playing coy, blaming the mc for not reading her mind and not being as forward as she wants (but never says) frustrating. I can't stand this type of heroine that expects trust from the mc but won't open up and be honest first.

Anyway, that's all I've got. I just didn't feel right dropping this one without giving folks a heads up of what they're getting into. Maybe I'll come back and finish it and update this rating later, but I kind of doubt it.