For this special Mother's Day episode, our guest is none other than…our mom! Meet Jeanne Trespicio, the woman who is responsible for, well, all of this (waves hands around vaguely). Go behind the scenes of Boomer parenting, and Jeanne's largely laissez-faire approach to: movies, TV, play dates, real dates, and taking the train to Port Authority. Plus: Kim hates meatloaf, Terri hates Kim, and little Lori is sent to ski school with a 104 degree fever. Sounds right. Welcome to Generation Artax. Happy Mother's Day!

Also in this episode:

• A little background on Jeanne, and her family of origin.
• Our grandmother's scandalous courtship by state trooper Johnny Barone
• No one has ever seen our grandmother's wedding pictures because there are none, because she got married as an old crone at 29
• Why no one thought our mother was our mother.
• Roving bands of neighborhood kids in the 80s
• Kim drank Sprite like kids today drink water, and can't believe any of us have teeth
• Mom denies she made us sit at the table til we finished dinner
• Kim would rather die than eat meatloaf and to this day won't try it
• Mom's guiding philosophy for school: Do your job
• Mom to Kim: Life is a bore get used to it
• Growing up in a sport-free zone
• Dedicated phone lines = peace in the land
• Young Terri hates Kim so much she can barely speak
• Mom sends Lori off to Ski School with a 104 fever

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How do you spell heartbreak? T-E-R-R-I. In this episode, Terri comes clean about a boy she scoped out at a spelling bee, and then later woefully mistreated, which still haunts her. Also: Kim meets an emotionally wounded boy at a bonfire. In Unrelated: Children's movies that really shouldn't have been children's movies. Like, the Last Unicorn, about a sexy horse and the prince who falls for her. Welcome to Generation Artax.

Show notes:

• Terri is on a spending freeze, thinks about things she'd like to buy when she "deserves" it and Kim and Lori lecture her about mindset
• Kim meets a boy at the beach with the wrong attachment style who cries a lot and sends her B-side Green Day songs
• Terri falls in love at a regional spelling bee begins romance via post
• Terri leaves said boy high and dry at the high school dance, then we try to find him on LinkedIn
• The Last Unicorn, with its glorified beastiality, sexy horses, and trees with boobs.
• Dark Crystal, which had very adult themes and is giving Epstein
• The Electric Grandmother, which is just really super fucked up and feels very AI for 1982

Let's be clear: Lori wants love in 1993, but she didn't say she wants it to be easy (which is why it's over before it's begun). Find out why Cash Cab is a true test of character. Lori goes on the wrong booze cruise, Kim nearly has a stroke, and Terri hard launches her new relationship—which, speaking of the 90s, is with a girl she went to high school with. True story. Welcome to Generation Artax.

SHOW NOTES

• Sometimes Kim likes the darkness
• Lori loves corned beef
• Teenage Lori wants love, but she also wants a challenge
• The Rules of Courtney Love, and the book The Rules
• Kim hates The Rules
• The 72-hour boyfriend
• Kim's favorite thing about humans
• Cash Cab and why it's Kim's example of the best of humanity
• Terri's improv journey
• The importance of play
• Terri hard launches her relationship with Kim's BFF fr HS
• UNRELATED: Did you ever think you were about to die?
• Terri legit almost dies from sepsis
• Lori and the booze cruise that wasn't at all a booze cruise
• Kim nearly has a stroke