Holy Disobedience

Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows

By: Melissa Duge Spiers

Narrated by: Melissa Duge Spiers

Holy Disobedience is a gripping, unflinching story by Melissa Duge Spiers about growing up in the shadow of control, silence, and secrets within the strict, fundamentalist Seventh-day Adventist Church. When Melissa learns that her father, a respected pastor, was a serial child predator shielded by the church, her world implodes. But this revelation is only the beginning.

From being beaten for resisting a childhood home perm to seducing a forbidden public-school athlete to reclaim her autonomy, Melissa's early years were shaped by repression, shame, and indoctrination. Her escape from high-control religion launched her into a life of risk: Wall Street jobs, New York nightclubs, Hollywood hookups, and a series of abusive relationships. And yet, in these extremes, she was searching. Through self-reflection and finding her voice, and through an unexpected friendship with her father's first victim, Melissa slowly reconstructs the self she was never allowed to know.

Holy Disobedience is not just a survivor's tale. It's a story of fierce honesty, radical freedom, and the beautiful mess of becoming whole.

©2026 Melissa Duge Spiers (P)2026 Melissa Duge Spiers

Critic reviews

"Holy Disobedience is a visceral portrayal of a daughter's quest for the dark truth beneath the religious veneer of forced beauty and familial cover-ups. Spiers's writing is propulsive and intelligent." -Tia Levings, author of the New York Times bestselling A Well-Trained Wife

A Book SDA and Religions Like It Could Learn From

But they won’t. They’ve become corporate cults, a skeleton of warped interpretation of Christianity filled in with teachings of men (and women).

As for the author, you will find a book here that is completely outstanding, made even better with her own voice, inflection and interpretation. You’ll find that her intelligence vibrates through your speakers.

Thank you for letting us know.

Engrossing, deeply moving, hopeful, funny

This is an incredible book, I listened almost in one sitting couldn’t put it down. I was at AU with her sister and every word rings true. Her imagery is vivid, and her voice is honest and strong. A profound recounting that is never maudlin but delivered with razor sharp wit. Melissa you have no idea how many people this will help. “I had to be at peace with no peace” really speaks to me too. THANK YOU.

The author’s resilience and her determination.

SDA is a horrible cult specially for women. I love that she didn’t let her upbringing and all the abuse she endured define her. What a strong articulate and compassionate person. I really admire her.

Unique Refreshing Perspective

This is an important book. Recommended to anyone interested in or affected by extreme family beliefs / childhood trauma, religious abuse and domestic violence - moreso if a reader thinks none of these things exist in their world.

Not pretty but Beautiful!

After catching clips of this story on TikTok, I knew I had to hear Ms. Duge Spiers’ story in full and it did not disappoint. Hearing her narrate it in her own voice made the experience even more powerful, it felt immersive, like being pulled directly into the moments she lived through.

As a former Adventist, this book resonated on a deeper level. It helped me make sense of behaviors and mindsets I witnessed growing up, especially with some of the lesser known Ellen G. White quotes she included things I hadn’t heard before, but that clicked instantly once I reflected on my experiences.

This isn’t just an entertaining read, it’s an eye opener. More than anything, I hope this book empowers other victims to find their voice, speak their truth, and ultimately free themselves.